Norsehorse's Older Home Turf

2004-05-11T13:48:00.000-04:00

Norsehorse's New Turf

Norsehorse's Home Turf has moved to New Turf: http://norsehorses-turf.blogspot.com.

This first personal blog of mine will now serve as the Old Norsehorse's Home Turf.

All future posts can be found on the new blog.

Please update any bookmarks (i.e., Favorites), links and BlogRolls you have for Norsehorse's Home Turf or for Morgan W. Brown accordingly.

Thank you for reading.

2004-05-11T12:40:00.000-04:00

Working on New Personal Blog

Came across the new blogger late yesterday, but did not have any time then to explore it much.

It was not until this morning however, having come across The Homeless Guy blog's new (temporary) look and reading Kevin's post about it (here) that I found out about some of the new templates, the Bloggers new commenting features and all.

Doing a complete redesign of Norsehorse's Home Turf is something I have been thinking about doing for a while and now with Bloggers new launch I can finally get it going. Excellent.

As I want to keep my old blog up as is, especially so I can preserve the comments I have there with the Haloscan commenting feature I have used on that blog, etc., I am in the process of creating an entirely new blog using a different blog address: http://norsehorses-turf.blogspot.com

There is not much to it yet however, as I am only getting started.

Once I get enough done on the new blog and begin posting there, I will make a final post to this old blog accordingly and change the title of this blog so it will read as being Norsehorse's Old Home Turf.

2004-05-10T17:06:00.000-04:00

brief personal update

have been off-line since Tuesday, May 4th resting up for the most part. this is my first day into town as well, only managing to get in late this afternoon to do a few errants and slowly beginning to try to catch up on e-mail, etc.

will be back online tomorrow (Tuesday, May 11th).

2004-05-04T15:45:00.000-04:00

Greens

what I did not yet mention within my Sunday, May 02, 2004 blog post concerning the day previous was that as things happened to turn out earlier on Saturday, while I was out walking around downtown Montpelier, I came across the sign for where the VGP was soon to be holding its convention that morning and wandered in to check it out.

once I spoke with a couple of the organizers, whom invited me to stay around and received an information packet from them, I went off for a small breakfast and came back in time for the portion of the VGP's convention schedule when they would discuss the Presidential nominees and, then, vote accordingly.

additional information about the convention, as well as the results of it, can be found within my blog post today on the Unofficial Vote4Nader Blog, here.

2004-05-04T14:47:00.000-04:00

Gracious Extra Miles & Beyond
continued

additional examples I have experienced over the years of someone going gracious extra miles and beyond without being asked include those who have opened doors in various other ways.

sometimes it is a person whom surprises me out of the blue with a kind and thoughtful offer of letting me stay at their place for a night, without expecting or demanding anything in return and without my having asked either, which is enough in and of itself as being a gracious extra mile in my book.

then when I show up, not only are they very hospitable, but an offer beyond the one they first presented might be made for either another one or two nights in a row and, then also, being able to stay like that other times when needed or, that I can come back for another night when I need it every week or so.

the fact is that even being offered the single night over was a big help in itself, especially without my having asked in the first place. when it turns out to be even more, sometimes it is more than I can always easily fathom and understand. it has never been easy for me to always accept such offers either.

ever so slowly over the years however, especially when I have come to know some of the people better whom are doing so and also when circumstances actually warrant it in my opinion, I manage to take some of them up on their generosity of spirit, but not always; though I am still very careful to try not to wear out my welcome, whenever it can be helped anyway.

at times it is actually enough for me just to know an offer is available when it is most needed, that helps me find my own way, strength and resolve to get through a difficult moment and circumstance; and, when I cannot, then I may lean more on others and take them up on their offer(s) of support and assistance.

of course there are numerous other examples I could provide about how people have gone the extra mile and beyond as well and may do so eventually, but will save some of these for yet another time.

2004-05-03T15:58:00.000-04:00

*Updated*

Gracious Extra Miles & Beyond

once I got settled yesterday (Sunday) into the place I will be until Wednesday morning, I relaxed, ate, watched television and, then late in the afternoon, went to bed. did not get up for good until sometime around 9:00 AM this morning (Monday). it took me a while to get going too and I took my time.

it was good to sleep and it was surely much needed. believe it or not, my body and spirit still feels tired though.

as it is easier to hitch into Montpelier than it is to hitch out to where I sometime stay just outside the city limits and as I am having to pay for the local transit bus (and, still under construction, here) these days, I tend to hitch in when I can in order to save a little money.

got a ride right away by someone I know, even before I managed to hold out my thumb. at first they were only going a mile down the road, where they would then head out to the village they live in, but wanted to offer me a ride at least that far. however as we were talking together and without my asking whatsoever, they decided to go in as far as the Hunger Mountain Co-op.

since I was at the food co-op, I went in and bought a few dollars worth of dried fruit to help keep my system's strength up and going a little better. then I walked the short distance into downtown from there, which is always a pleasant and gentle walk down the bikepath that parallels Stone Cutters Way. walking around Montpelier is always better than driving, unless one has a bicycle anyway.

anyway, back on topic:

this past Sunday, when the only way I had to get from Montpelier to where I was going was to hitch in with my arms heavy with bags of supplies, someone else did the same sort of thing after they picked me up: i.e., bringing me to my destination without my asking.

as I blog this, I also recall this sort of thing happening a week or two ago as well. that time I was heading out of Montpelier to the same place on a Sunday I think and once again with some supplies in hand. a young married couple went by and it appeared for a moment that they were looking my way possibly and then I noticed them looking in back in their car. they continued on, so I turned my attention back to hitching. then the next thing I knew, they had circled back and stopped in the driveway just in back of the spot where I was hitching from. the young wife then went to the backseat and got in next to their young child, who was in a car seat. they then called me over and invited me for a ride to where I was going.

these are additional examples of someone doing something so simple and basic for another without having been asked and without asking or demanding anything in return, going gracious extra miles and beyond.

no matter how small or large the effort made, it means a lot when someone does something like this, it certainly always has to me anyway. in fact, it usually makes all the difference in the world to me, more than people often know or could ever imagine.

*note*: made several, mostly minor, edits for the purposes of clarification and readability only; also made a few additions as well: last updated on Monday, April 3, 2004 at 5:23 PM [EDT].

2004-05-02T09:35:00.000-04:00

keeping plenty juiced

the weather was glorious on Thursday and Friday around here, but even more so yesterday (Saturday). it felt truly great and had been sorely needed.

was able to get three nights of good, solid and restful sleep at a friends place from Wednesday through Friday evening. it helped a lot.

couch surfing by nature is often a night to night situation of staying with different friends or ocassionally even acquintences when they are willing to put you up. sometimes someone is willing to allow you a few nights or more at a time and, then, might be willing to take you back in again later, especially when one is in a particular pinch.

once I got up and out the door, I went to the downtown Shaws market and bought some items for a small breakfast as well as having some to spare throughout the day as well as longer.

among those few items was a half gallon of pure orange juice with pulp, which is now nearly gone, as this morning (Sunday) I was in great need of it.

my diet is not very good or healthy and especially lacks in getting enough veggies and fruits, etc.

with all the stress incurred due to my current and long ongoing circumstances, plus my poor diet, when it can be afforded there are various things I purchase to provide me with some of what I need, which would otherwise not be getting into my system and, simply, to keep myself going with.

A half gallon of OJ is one of the things bought when my body is in really poor shape, especially when sleep is in short supply. sometimes I drink the entire thing down in fairly short order, though usually it may last a day or two or possibly even longer.

another juice I get is a bottle of 100% carrot juice by Bolthouse Farms. it is such a superb product.

last year when shopping for lunch in the market of a nearby town, I came across Bolthouse's carrot juice on sale and have been hooked since.

am just glad that the Shaws market in downtown Montpelier has it available in their store, though sometimes it gets sold out quick and it takes a while for them to get restocked. so sometimes I end up keep going back every day or two until it is it. it is worth it to me, as I buy at least one big bottle once a week and often more, sometimes three or four when I really need to. in fact I just bought two back to back, as I always drink them right up most of the time, though on ocassion it might last in the fridge over a day or two.

anyway, the product has definitely proved extremely beneficial to me.

in the afternoon yesterday I bought a bottle of the carrot juice, a huge and hearty loaf of Red Hen Baking Company's Pain au Levain and an eight ounce tub of whipped unsalted butter.

Red Hen's breads are utterly excellent and certainly well worth the price. when I am able to, I always truly enjoy eating a loave of their Pain au Levain as well as some of their other fine breads, though Pain au Levain is the one I buy most often.

taking advantage of the warm, sunny weather, I sat in one of my favorite spots -- which is a bench next to the Pavillion Building, out front and to the side of the Vermont Supreme Court as well as being right close by and in full view of the Vermont State House green of course -- eating bread and butter, washed down with carrot juice, while slowly reading yet another chapter of Seabiscuit: An American Legend.

Saturday I did not have anywhere to land for the evening, nor any energy to use in the difficult task of finding a safe and quiet place with which to pitch my tent.

however, as I was able to find a place to acquire some online access for a while and, despite being deeply tired, I used that opportunity to both get things done as well as bide some time away and have somewhere to be inside for a spell.

later I went and found a place elsewhere to get a three to four hours of floor sleep. am certainly glad I manage to get that much sleep.

soon I will be heading off to hole up for a two to three day/night stay for a rest up. it will be good to have somewhere to rest and sleep as early as this afternoon for a short nap.

just before going there though, my body is letting me know that it is graving for more of that carrot juice and, luckily, Shaws has stocked up a bunch of it recently so I will not be going without.

that will help me wash down the remaining loaf of bread, as well as also going well with what I am planning on having for my meals today.

so not only will I be eating a little better, but I sure will be keeping plenty juiced.

2004-04-30T08:45:00.000-04:00

*Yet Another Update*

Always Low Prices--Always

Grumpy "OLD" Man came across a really good blog find and blogged about it this morning (Friday, April 30, 2004).

Always Low Prices--Always (ALP) is in fact an interesting team blog, which has a stable of contributors who write about: The Best and the Worst about Wal-Mart [new Web address].

there are seven (7) regular contributors to ALP so far and they also have guest writers as well.

ALP's Disclaimers states that the blog

... is not affiliated with Wal-Mart in any way.

No author owns shares of WM directly.

Those of us who work for WM admit it freely.

The opinions of ALP contributors are their own.

In fact, most of us don't even shop at WM.

the ALP blog has only been up since Thursday, April 08, 2004 and, at the time of my own initial visit this morning, they already have had 17,342 visits to their blog.

for a relatively new blog on the block, that certainly is a great amount of interest and popularity the blog is generating. not bad!

*update*

while browsing through the archive of previous blog posts on the ALP, I came across this invite posted by Kevin Brancato on Wednesday, April 14, 2004:

Interested in Blogging about WM?

Always Low Prices is actively looking for cobloggers.

If you would like to blog the controversy surrounding the world's largest corporation, send me an email at kbrancat-at-gmu.edu.

There are no editorial restrictions or requirements to blog at ALP, save decency and my personal liability, and the desire to post at least monthly.

And yes, we welcome bloggers who dislike WM, but only if they do so out of logic, reason, and experience--not out of hype.

not being able to resist, I e-mailed Kevin about my interest in blogging on ALP. am posting it here fyi:

Dear Kevin,

just came across the ALP this morning, thanks to a blog post by Jonathon on his Grumpy "OLD" Man blog.

while I can see you already have a growing stable of bloggers on the ALP team: yes, if your Wednesday, April 14, 2004 posted offer is still open for accepting additional contributors, I am Interested in Blogging about WM.

am not into hype myself. am a 48 year old white male, whom happens to be living homeless (most of the time under a roof so-to-speak; i.e., couch surfing from place to place; though I may end up tenting out once again very soon) in Montpelier, Vermont. my online access is mostly via public access computers, but I most certainly can post at least monthly and have the strong desire to do so as well. am a social change activist.

while I do so somewhat reluctantly for various reasons, as certain WM practices causes major struggles of conscience for me, the fact is that I do sometime shop at Walmart out of pure necessity; though I do not apologize for it either, nor do I feel guilty doing so. it is just that if I could afford to shop elsewhere, I would; but I do not have that luxury like some people have. the other thing is many of the things I buy there are the same things made at the very same off-shore low or no wage places Walmart gets them from, but the local stores hike up the prices for their lions share. buying local is not always truly buying local of course. some of these local shops do not always practice being a good or generous neighbors in various ways either. in certain cases, some so-called locals do not always provide livable or even wages much above minimum wage and no health insurance either. so buying local does not translate into an improve locally, except for the snotty locals who think they are better than their local have nots. do not get me wrong though, I am not defending Walmart, but am merely pointing out certain observations and hypocrisies by the
merchant trade in general, whatever size they may be or where they may be located or where the money really goes. of course each of them has their set of pat excuse as to why they cannot do better by their workers or the community, etc. yet I do have deep concerns over Walmarts labor practices and have seen their impact hit home close by, hurting people I know and care about. however, that said, I have had my own up close and personal experiences with some of these very same practices in the past before by others in the merchant and other trades or industry, long before I ever knew or heard anything about Walmart. yes, I think Walmart needs to be taken to task for what they do and also be set as an example, but if we think what they are doing is wrong, it should be clearly and repeatedly pointed out that they are not alone in some of what they do that has such a bad impact on so many people and workers as well as their communities, who each and all end up paying the price for their practices. Walmart is not the first to do may of the things they do, they are merely the latest, though not necessarily the worse either, just possibly one of the biggest maybe.

am simply sharing with you some of my own thinking, experiences and observations concerning these matters so you may be able to better clue into who the person behind this particular e-mail is. of course you can check out my blog as well. it is Norsehorse's Home Turf.

*yet another update*

heard back from Kevin rather quickly this morning in response to my e-mail to him. as a result I am now among one of the co-bloggers of ALP. that was quite painless.

have just finished post and, then, updating my first post with which to introduce myself to ALP's visitors: New Co-Blogger Intro.

feel free to let me know what you think and feel concerning these matters, whether it be within the comments here or on the ALP blog in response to my blog posts there or, via e-mail.

*note*: updated post with mostly minor edits for the purposes of clarification and readability; also included additional information, links as well as an e-mail to ALP of mine; added an update about my becoming a ALP co-blogger: last updated on Monday, May 10, 2004 at 4:59 PM [EDT].

2004-04-29T19:09:00.000-04:00

spring day

today has been a really nice, warm, sunny Spring day.

that may sound odd to those living somewhere the weather tends to keep up with the calendar when it says it is officially spring. well it is vastly different in these parts.

just the early morning before (Tuesday), with the wet, damp, whipping wind and the growing cold, I was getting tempted to wear my long underwear and winter socks again. am not complaining about it either though. that is simply northern New England for you. yet I would not live elsewhere.

have still been feeling quite tired today and even more so now. had a good sleep last night however. it is really restful, peaceful and quiet where I stayed. will be there tonight as well.

2004-04-29T10:13:00.000-04:00

WagBlog is back blogging

Author and Poet Pam Wagner is once again back blogging her blog: i.e., WagBlog.

within some of her recent blog posts, Pam writes about her latest hospital stay, her recent experience with (as well as her decision concerning) ect and a new poem she penned as well.

highly recommended reading!

2004-04-29T09:09:00.000-04:00

*Updated*

milestone

the visitor counter currently has recorded a total of 9,999 visits hitting upon the several various pages that are a part of Norsehorse's Home Turf, which the counter is kept on.

congratulations to my 10,000 visitor.

*update*

and, as best as I can tell, the winner is:

at 9:25:31 am this morning, the 10,000 visitor to Norsehorse's Home Turf was an individual from the eastcoast of the United States, whose ISP is megapath.net and whom had clicked onto the http://nht.blogspot.com/2004_04_01_nht_archive.html URL provided to them within an e-mail they received in their Yahoo e-mail account.

once again, congratulations!

being the 10,000 visitor to this particular blog, if you would like me to, please e-mail me (morganbrown [at] gmail [dot] com) with your mailing address, letting me know that you are my 10,000 visitor and I would be glad to snail mail you a Vermont post card to help mark this particular occasion.

to each and any of my truly longtime and loyal regular visitors (you know who you are I hope), even if you are not the 10,000 visitor, you have certainly made this milestone possible. so please e-mail me (morganbrown [at] gmail [dot] com) with your mailing address, letting me know that you are one of my loyal longtime blog or resource page visitors and, when I am able to, I would be glad to snail mail you a Vermont post card to help mark this particular occasion as well.

thank you each and all for visiting my blog, or otherwise one of its links pages, through its many ebbs and flows. this blog of mine is nothing without you and your interest.

by the way, for those whom do not yet know and may be inclined to ask, this blog was born way back on Wednesday, November 20, 2002 and has, ever so slowly, been evolving since then -- as time, energy and online access allows anyway.

*note*: made several, mostly minor, edits for the purposes of clarification and readability only: added the last paragraph fyi; additionally, have posted an update concerning whom I believe to be this blog's 10,000 visitor: last updated on Thursday, April 29, 2004 at 6:52 PM [EDT].

2004-04-28T19:28:00.000-04:00

driven to distraction

am being driven to distraction with my current circumstances. did not sleep much or well last night, had nowhere to land then or in the foreseeable future either. am tired, my back and neck is aching badly and am very low-energy in general.

got to go. someone wants this computer. my time and online accesss is up for the night.

*update*

quickly: a couple of weeks ago someone I know well, whom is a dear friend, made an offer of putting me up for a night here or there once and a while, if things were getting bad and I had nowhere to go, especially with it being wet or damp and still cold out at night. though it is a very limited thing of course. had not been able to reach them until tonight. am headed over there for tonight, so am okay for this evening. the rest and feeling safe will help. just wanted to post this news fast so no one would be too concerned. am eating well this eve too by the way. got to go. they are expecting me soon.

2004-04-28T11:14:00.000-04:00

*Updated*

current reading

while at the Kellogg-Hubbard Library last evening (Tuesday), I came across a well-worn first edition (Random House, 2001) of the book Seabiscuit: An American Legend, authored by Laura Hillenbrand.

the Seabiscuit movie was based upon this particular book and, in fact, the author served as a consultant for it.

one of the librarians and I discussed the book as well as the movie, which I have already seen twice so far. they told me that, in their opinion, the book was far better than the movie and was a must-read. i'm obviously sold of course.

as I am a very slow reader and reading in general comes hard to me, being that it is not a new book, I have the book for a month and, if no one puts in a request for it, I may be able to renew it for yet another two weeks if I need such an extension.

began reading it last night of course. then continued my reading first thing, very early, this morning over a giant coffee and two donuts (a number 1) at the local Dunkin Donuts, whose new location only recently (re)opened in Montpelier.

*update*

back on March 14, 2001, Salon carried a review of Laura Hillenbrand's book, here.

while we were speaking together last night, the librarian also informed me that the book's author has chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome (CFIDS).

just came across an archived copy of a must-read article written by her, which was originally published in the the July 7, 2003 edition of The New Yorker, on the subject: A Sudden Illness -- How My Life Changed:

[...]

On a cool fall day in 1996, I was sifting through some documents on the great racehorse Seabiscuit when I discovered Red Pollard, the horse's jockey. I saw him first in a photograph, curled over Seabiscuit's neck. Looking out at me from the summer of 1938, he had wistful eyes and a face as rough as walnut bark.

I began looking into his life and found a story to go with the face. Born in 1909, Red was an exceptionally intelligent, bookish child with a shock of orange hair. At 15, he was abandoned by his guardian at a makeshift racetrack cut through a Montana hayfield. He wanted to be a jockey, but he was too tall and too powerfully built. That didn't stop him, though. He began race riding in the bush leagues and fared so badly that he took to part-time prizefighting in order to survive. He lived in horse stalls for 12 years, studying Emerson and the 'Rubaiyat,' piloting neurotic horses at 'leaky roof' tracks, getting punched bloody in cow-town clubs, keeping painfully thin with near-starvation diets, and probably pills containing the eggs of tapeworms.

He was appallingly accident-prone. Racehorses blinded his right eye, somersaulted onto his chest at forty miles per hour, trampled him, and rammed him into the corner of a barn, virtually severing his lower leg. He shattered his teeth and fractured his back, hip, legs, collarbone, shoulder, ribs. He was once so badly mauled that the newspapers announced his death. But he came back every time, struggling through pain and fear and the limitations of his body to do the only thing he had ever wanted to do. And in the one lucky moment of his unlucky life he found Seabiscuit, a horse as damaged and persistent as he was. I hung Red's picture above my desk and began to write.

What began as an article for American Heritage became an obsession, and in the next two years the obsession became a book. Borden and I moved to a cheap rental house farther downtown, and I arranged my life around the project. At the local library, I pored over documents and microfilm I requisitioned from the Library of Congress. If I looked down at my work, the room spun, so I perched my laptop on a stack of books in my office, and Borden jerry-rigged a device that held documents vertically. When I was too tired to sit at my desk, I set the laptop up on my bed. When I was too dizzy to read, I lay down and wrote with my eyes closed. Living in my subjects' bodies, I forgot about my own.

I mailed the manuscript off to Random House in September 2000, then fell into bed. I was lying there the following day when the room began to gyrate. Reviewing the galleys brought me close to vomiting several times a day. Most of the gains I had made since 1995 were lost. I spent each afternoon sitting with Fangfoss on my back steps, watching the world undulate and sliding into despair.

In March 2001, Random House released 'Seabiscuit. An American Legend.' Five days later, I was lying down, when the phone rang. 'You are a best-selling writer,' my editor said. I screamed. Two weeks later, I picked up the phone to hear him and my agent shout in tandem, 'You're No. 1!' Borden threw a window open and yelled it to the neighborhood.

[...]

speaking of The New Yorker, in the August 4, 2003 edition was this article concerning the movie: Horse Power.

ESPN's Website includes these items concerning Seabiscuit: Size doesn't matter (here), Heart of a Champion (here) and, The tricks behind the making of 'Seabiscuit' (here).

in addition, PBS featured an excellent American Experience documentary presentation focused on Seabiscuit.

*note*: updated my initial blog post for purposes of clarification and readability as well as providing additional related information and links on the subject: last updated on Wednesday, April 28, 2004 at 4:42 PM [EDT].

2004-04-27T18:18:00.000-04:00

cool, sweet stuff

today (Tuesday, April 27, 2004), from noon until 8:00 PM, its Ben & Jerry's free cone day at participating scoop shops worldwide.

when I went this afternoon, the line was not too bad and it did not take long at all. they are fairly well organized and have plenty of ice cream on hand, along with having a wide variety of flavors available.

in fact they had a couple of new flavors I never heard of. it was not easy to choose between the several older flavors listed, another tempting new flavor (i.e., Primary Berry Graham) and the new flavor I finally decided upon.

anyway, I ended up with a really good sized cone of Dublin Mudslide™: New in 2004! - Irish Cream Liqueur Ice Cream with Chocolate, Chocolate Cookies and a Coffee Fudge Swirl.

yummmm.

among the older flavors that were available at my local Ben & Jerry's scoop shop today, which is among my favorites, was Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz®: Coffee ice cream with espresso bean fudge chunks. there were others of course, but I cannot recall them all.

2004-04-27T16:29:00.000-04:00

Aspects of New England:
Western Abenaki

meant to blog about this last week, but was not able to get it done. am also still feeling very low-energy and tired, so this post will be brief and more general in nature.

last Wednesday (April 21, 2004) evening found me at the Kellogg-Hubbard Library for use of the public access computer(s). by chance I was finished up just prior to at 7:00 pm when one of their scheduled events was taking place. so I decided to check it out as it was of particular interest to me.

this particular event was focused on the the Western Abenaki as part of a series called Aspects of New England:

The first in a five-part series exploring the history, culture, and natural history of our region. Scholar Jeanne Brink draws upon her Abenaki family history and M.A. in Native American studies to discuss the first New-Englanders: their culture, history, and language. Jeanne will discuss the importance in Abenaki society of elders and children, the environment, and the continuance of lifeways and traditions. This program is co-sponsored by the Vermont Council on the Humanities.

it was very well attended. Jeanne Brink's presentation was excellent, indepth and highly interactive. there was lots of show and tell too. she was great with taking and responding to questions from those in attendance and there were plenty asked, including several by myself.

2004-04-23T15:54:00.000-04:00

*Updated*

tired out

it appears that I am tired out far more than what I had originally thought was the case.

only managed to get about five or six hours sleep Wednesday (April 21, 2004) evening. ended up being really tired yesterday, but had nowhere to go to get some sleep during the day.

then late that same afternoon (Thursday), I was able to arrange to have a place to stay starting that night and the following three nights as well, through to late Monday morning.

anyway, I got there just before 7:00 PM. did not have any energy left to speak of and, as a result, could not really focus enough to read much or to bother to watching much more television (not that there was anything of interest to watch, because there wasn't) or even to eat for that matter either. so I went to bed around 8:30 PM.

did not get up until twelve (12) hours later and, when I did wake up, it was really tough going for me. plus I was still feeling extremely tired.

in fact it took me a couple of hours until I actually felt like I was finally waking up. it almost felt like a hangover of sorts and I had nothing alcoholic to drink whatsoever. maybe my problem is that I am badly in need of one. am only joking of course.

am certainly glad that I had a real bed and warm space to sleep in last evening. it proved to be well needed. will be using the entire weekend to rest up as much as I am able to during the time I have this particular place to stay put at.

*note*: made some, mostly minor, edits for purposes of clarification and readability only: last updated on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 5:47 PM [EDT].

2004-04-22T17:44:00.000-04:00

brief personal update

have arranged to hole up for the next four days/nights in a place where I will be able to rest, relax, read, watch television as well as clean-up a little, etc. it might only be a short-term fix, but this is a good and less stressful one for me. will be in town and, online of course, both tomorrow and Saturday most likely though.

2004-04-21T13:16:00.000-04:00

*****Yet Another Recent Update*****

last updated on
Monday, May 24, 2004
@ 1:53 PM [EDT]

Gmail

*Special Notice*:

to anyone who may be tempted to send me an e-mail with a plea to send you a Gmail account invite: my invites went out when they were first made available. mine were of course sent to two other homeless (or in one case formerly homeless) bloggers I know of online.

If that is not enough to deter you, then read the following: Gmail Plea's or, Just Another Spam Scam?

In my case however, I finally began marking some of these invite plea's via the Report Spam feature that Gmail has and, later, going into the Spam folder, toggling the box beside them and then toggling "Delete Forever" via the "More Actions" feature.

[...]

Enough is enough already.

[...]

After I get done blogging this particular post, I will updating that post with a notice to those who might be inclined to beg from me, that my invites are already gone and also provide a link back to this post just to drive the point home for anyone slow on the uptake.

Any Gmail Plea's that come in from here on out will be quickly reported as being Spam and find their way into the Spam Can.

*Update to the Special Notice*

here is a recent blog post of mine concerning an online resource for those so inclined: Gmailswap.

now back to the original post:

Contact Information Change

please note that I am changing to a new e-mail address. as such, if you have an e-mail listing for me already, I request that you change your contact information listing for me accordingly.

Google is currently testing out offering free web-based e-mail, called Gmail, which includes 1000 megabytes of free storage and some other very useful features.

to learn more, go to About Gmail.

as Blogger is owned by Google, during the testing stages of Gmail, the new e-mail service is now being offered to Blogger users, which I am of course.

my new e-mail address is:

morganbrown [at]
gmail [dot] com

will be consolidating down to a single e-mail address from all the several e-mail accounts I currently have in use. had been thinking about doing this anyway, but until now it was not possible, since Hotmail and most other free web-based e-mail providers only offer a minimal amount of storage capacity. which, for the most part, is why I have been forced to have so many different e-mail accounts, as I am such a heavy e-mail user and also tend to store lots e-mails (mostly copies of stuff I send out though) for future reference. with what Google is offering through gmail (i.e., 1000 megabytes of storage, plus other great features), I can now do it, so I am.

blogger users, whom are interested in obtaining a free Gmail account and have not already done so, can simply sign in and, then, respond to the Special Notice about it; which should be within the upper right-hand column, just above the listing of your blogs.

*update*

to learn even more about Gmail, Google It (here) or, otherwise, Yahoo It (here).

an example of what I have come across already is: The Fuss About Gmail and Privacy: Nine Reasons Why It's Bogus, by Tim O'Reilly.

meanwhile there is Jeremy Zawodny's take on Tim O'Reilly's take concerning Gmail: Blinded by Gmail's Gigabyte?

elsewhere within the blogosphere: on his personal blog earlier this month, Kevin Fox shared some Obligatory Gmail Screenshots. Sean B. Palmer blogged about how he is Testing Gmail and, then, has done even More Gmail Beta Testing. Jason Shellen went into Gmail redux.

within his personal blog, Mark Pilgrim wrote about how he dreamt of Gmail (here) and, earlier, had also written about Gmail accessibility.

fyi:

Kevin Fox and Jason Shellen are both Google employees.

Sean B. Palmer's bio states that he is an English computer scientist.

Jeremy Zawodny is an employee of Yahoo.

Mark Pilgrim is an IBM employee.

Tim O'Reilly is the founder and CEO of O'Reilly & Associates, thought by many to be the best computer book publisher in the world.

much more:

yet another example, this one focused on growing opposition to Gmail, is from an April 13, 2004 BBC News article: Google's Gmail could be blocked: Gmail, the planned free e-mail service from Google, could be facing strong legal opposition in California.

so far, as of April 19th, Thirty-One Privacy and Civil Liberties Organizations Urge Google to Suspend Gmail (via Privacy Rights Clearinghouse).

Google Watch:

Google Watch posted this indepth Gmail Privacy Alert.

What is Google-Watch?, you ask.

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, offers this definition, here:

Google Watch is a website run by Public Interest Research, started in 2001 by Daniel Brandt. Ostensibly its goals are to report on conflicts of interest in Google's corporate structure, the dependency of the public on it for information, invasion of privacy issues, and its increasing commercial links with private interests. However, its critics charge that it is merely the work of a disgruntled website owner whose websites' Google PageRanks were not to his liking.

[...]

additionally, the Wikipedia listing includes external links to a couple of articles concerning Google Watch.

the January 3, 2003 edition of CounterPunch featured an article, written by Mark Hand, Searching for Daniel Brandt. Mark Hand is editor of PressAction.com.

then there is Google Watch Watch by Chris Beasley.

back on track

two more articles, these from CNET News, both last modified on April 13, 2004:

Google to consider Gmail changes: Google said Tuesday it is "batting about" possible changes to its Gmail Web-based e-mail service, which launched last month to a chorus of privacy concerns.

Gmail likely to clear U.K. privacy hurdles: Google's forthcoming e-mail service probably won't run into legal issues in Britain, as long as the company doesn't deceive customers about how their personal information will be treated.

in addition, read up on some of the latest news and controversy about Gmail, Google the News (here). or, likewise, Yahoo the News (here).

*****yet another update*****

doing some related Web searching this morning I happened upon an April 3, 2004 article -- via Dan Gillmor's eJournal, Why I Wouldn't Consider Google's E-Mail (here) -- published in the Register (UK): Google mail is evil ? privacy advocates.

for those inclined to keep up with what bloggers are saying about Gmail, besides what can be found via the usual search engines, searching via Feedster (here), blogdex (here), Technorati (here), popdex (here) and Daypop (here).

then there is Fagan Finder, which has a good one-stop blog search tool.

using some of these blogosphere search tools, I came across the following items:

Ruman's Blog provided a link to this April 20, 2004 article, featured in Extreme Tech: Gmail: Stop the Whining!

By Jim Lynch

Search engine superpower Google recently announced its intentions to offer free a Web mail service, called Gmail, to its users. Well, as we all know, no good deed goes unpunished and Gmail is no exception. As soon as the Internet giant announced the specifics of its offering, privacy advocates and others began lambasting the company, complaining that Google's policies would violate user's privacy rights. While legitimate feedback on such a service can be useful, some "advocates" have gone off the deep end and engaged in outright and crass demonization of Google.

[...]

User Responsibility

The people who are demonizing Google proceed from the false assumption that everyone who might use Gmail is a potential victim. The bottom line here is that everyone has a choice whether or not to use the Gmail service. No one is being forced at gunpoint to sign up for or use the service. Got that? Choice is an important concept that seems to have escaped many, including some in the media.

Users have an obligation to accept responsibility for themselves and for their choices. If one does not agree with the terms of Google's e-mail service, one should simply not use that service If it believes that its policies are threatening the bottom line, Google will have to adjust its policies to attract more users.

Users also need to get a clue about the reality of e-mail security in general. If you think that your communications using free Web mail services or any other unencrypted e-mail service are "private," you're way off. E-mails can be read by anyone with access to the various servers your messages are transmitted to as they make their way across the Internet.

If e-mail security and privacy are your top concern, free Web services are something you should already be steering clear of. You should be using a regular e-mail account hosted by your ISP instead, and then begin using PGP or some other encryption agent to make sure that your e-mail remains truly private.

Google's Responsibilities

Responsibility and accountability are required in both directions, however. Google needs to be crystal clear in explaining Gmail's terms of service to users, including about how data that is deleted by users may still reside on a Google server. And everything needs to be spelled out in language that's easy to understand--no jargon, business-speak or other verbal beating around the bush.

Since Gmail is still being beta-tested, it's probably a good idea for Google to mull over some helpful changes. Here's how it might want to address two of the issues we've raised here:
1. If users wish to opt out of the targeted advertisement version of Gmail, Google should allow them to do so and simply charge a monthly or yearly fee. As I pointed out earlier, Google is under no obligation to lose money by providing free services. So, any user who doesn't want their mail scanned should be able to pay for the service directly.

2. Users should retain control of their data and Google should make sure that users have the option of permanently deleting their data from Google's servers. Yes, data gets backed up frequently onto different servers, but Google would do well to make sure when a user opts to delete something permanently, his or her wishes are respected as quickly as possible. Thankfully, the company seems to have already clarified its position on this issue in a positive way.

These steps would go a long way toward attracting users to Google's e-mail service, reassuring privacy advocates, and preserving Gmail's business model. At this point, Google seems to be listening and they should be commended for that.

one can also keep up with some of Google's goings on through Google Weblog, which is not affiliated with or endorsed by Google, Inc.

via Volume of Interactions (here), two differing perspectives and both must-reads!:

the first is an April 12, 2004 column, written by CNET chief political correspondent Declan McCullagh, entitled: Is Google the future of e-mail?

the other one is a column published in Slate: Read My Mail, Please

The silly privacy fears about Google's e-mail service.

By Paul Boutin
Updated Thursday, April 15, 2004, at 2:26 PM PT

Google co-founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page were the heroes of the Net from the moment they launched their better-than-the-rest search engine in 1998, right up until two weeks ago. On April 1, they announced plans for Gmail, a Googleized alternative to the free Web-based e-mail services offered by Hotmail, Yahoo!, and a slew of smaller companies. Depending on your take, Gmail is either too good to be true, or it's the height of corporate arrogance, especially coming from a company whose house motto is "Don't Be Evil."

At first, Web hipsters dismissed Gmail as an April Fool's hoax. But Google's offer is real. Gmail will provide each user an entire gigabyte of free e-mail storage. That's about 250 times the 4-megabyte limit of a basic Yahoo! Mail account and 10 times Hotmail's 100-megabyte "super-user" package, which costs $60 a year. In return for all that inbox space, Google wants just one favor: to be allowed to scan the content of your incoming messages and serve content-targeted ads alongside them.

If you haven't tried it, it sounds creepy. But after a week of testing the prerelease version of Gmail, I'm on the other side of the fence. Gmail isn't an invasion of privacy, and its ads are preferable to the giant blinking banners for diets and dating services that are splashed across my other Web mail accounts.

Judging by the reaction of lots of people, Google might as well have asked for everyone's ATM passwords. California state Sen. Liz Figueroa told Reuters she was drafting legislation that, if passed, would prohibit the scanning of e-mail in order to serve ads. In England, watchdog group Privacy International filed a complaint that Gmail would violate the European Union's privacy laws. Silicon Valley's paper of record, the San Jose Mercury News, fretted on its editorial page, "If Google ogles your mail, can Ashcroft be far behind?" The controversy bubbled all the way up to late night, where Conan O'Brien joked about Google inserting ads for 1984.

The outcry isn't new, only the scale of it is. Ten years ago, some Web pioneers had a similarly squeamish reaction when the first search engines began crawling their sites and including them in searchable databases, along with ads matched to users' queries. As a manager for HotBot, one of the first ad-carrying search engines in the mid-1990s, I heard from plenty of Webmasters who demanded that their pages be removed from the system. Today, their objections seem quaint.

[...]

Paul Boutin is a Silicon Valley writer who spent 15 years as a software engineer and manager.

lastly,
two more must-reads

ahhh, in my opinion there is nothing better than a good saga, except maybe for living and exploring it, then, sharing what was experienced and learned from doing so.

speaking of which, Brad Templeton shares some of his insights and observations:

The GMail Saga

[...]

Here's a summary of some of my conclusions
1. While there has been over-reaction to GMail, there are some real issues here to be worried about.

2. Other webmail providers are doing, or will be doing the same things, meaning these issues apply to all of them, including MSN, Yahoo and others.

3. One key risk is that because GMail gets your consent to be more than an e-mail delivery service -- offering searching, storage and shopping -- your mail there may not get the legal protection the ECPA gives you on E-mail.

4. The storage of e-mail on 3rd party servers for more than 180 days almost certainly causes the loss of those privileges.

5. This in turn creates a danger that we may redefine whether e-mail has the "reasonable expectation of privacy" needed for 4th amendment protection.

6. Correlation of search and mail has real risks.

7. Google and others should architect to encrypt your mail.

8. Even the irrational fears over the spooky aspect of advertising being associated with e-mail creates problems that must be addressed.

[...]

On the appearance of surveillance

To close, let me add one other rule about privacy. It is not only important to have your privacy. It is important that you believe you have your privacy. If you even suspect that you are being watched, it changes your behaviour and you become less free as an individual.

Are you the same person at your mother's house for holiday dinner as you were your first year on your own at university? How much you think you are being watched affects your freedom. How much a society thinks it is being watched affects the freedom of the society.

The fear that computerized scanning of our e-mails (to display ads or filter out spam) will result in actual harm is largely baseless. But even irrational fears affect our freedom, and this should be considered in software design.

the point Brad Templeton's essay raises in item 2 (i.e., Other webmail providers are doing, or will be doing the same things, meaning these issues apply to all of them, including MSN, Yahoo and others) was not only well put in my opinion, but also happens to mirror some of my own initial thinking on the subject too.

have not really had an opportunity, nor the time, energy or online access to fully read through the above essay yet. will be printing it out so I can take plenty of time to go over and digest it later today.

lastly, among the very first articles I came across concerning the controversy surrounding Gmail, but ended up forgetting to mention it when I initially began blogging this particular post, is one published Wednesday, April 21, 2004 in PC Magazine, written by Lance Ulanoff, pondering the question: Is Gmail Safe?

what is next?

while I have not yet gathered my own thoughts enough in order to blog a post concerning my own take concerning Gmail, I do intend to stick with the service however. when I am able to find enough time, energy and online access to do so, I will try to blog a separate post concerning my take on Gmail and the controversy and the ensuing debate it has raised.

one thing for certain, such debate is always a very healthy thing. if this debate does not truly manage to influence what is at stake on all sides of these discussions and arguments any more than it may already have, there is still the hope that it will influence how or, even if, we use such Internet services and, if we indeed do, what we do with them of course.

*****yet another recent update*****

fyi: on Friday (April 23, 2004) afternoon I came across the following comment, posted by Mel Ruttan, within the Privacy issues in GMail and other webmail blog post string of Brad Templeton's blog:

Use GMail, but encrypt your private information.
Simple and free.

Type your E-mail, and click the A-LOCK icon.
http://www.a-lock.com/_site/alock/index.mhtml

Posted by: Mel Ruttan at April 23, 2004 07:59 AM

however, if I understand it correctly, it appears that it is only available to those with computers of their own or that can have the downloaded to anyway: i.e., being that my only computer and online access is via public access computers and they do not allow the public downloading new programs on them, I cannot use or access it.

meanwhile, (via a post, posted by Robert Loch, on Marketing VOX News [here]) in an article published on ClickZ, Pamela Parker-(scroll down page for her bio) ponders: Gmail: the Next Gator?: i.e., as in Gator, which is now the Claria Corporation.

*note*: found additional related information and links, which I simply could not resist posting: was forced to put up a *Special Notice* for Gmail invite beggars and spammers; added an update to the special notice re: Gmailswap info: last updated on Monday, May 24, 2004 at 1:53 PM [EDT].

2004-04-21T11:12:00.000-04:00

personal update

last evening (Tuesday) I managed to hole up inside at an undisclosed location within walking distance of downtown Montpelier. actually it is the same place I spent four sleepless hours the evening before (Monday). this time around I actually slept for nine hours more or less.

was in a really foul state of mind last night before I finally got to sleep. am still feeling tired, but not as bad as I was yesterday and my mood in temporarily improved as a result of course.

the place I am holing up at night for now is merely a short term band-aid however. it will not be available to me for much longer.

all this on top of having been in extremely low-energy mode for some time now, much which is linked to what has been going on these past few months.

not sure what to do next, but am certainly grateful to at least have this as a place of last resort; as certain options that have come to mind to use, if or when the need arises, are one's I would really rather not have as my only choice(s).

am not looking forward to having to tent out or otherwise wandering the streets all night, if it comes to that, either.

have heard from a couple more people who have offered support, which is of course well appreciated by me.

more later ...

2004-04-21T10:40:00.000-04:00

*Updated*

National Library Week

below is an edited and *final* version of a letter to the editor I just resubmitted to the Barre - Montpelier Times Argus for publication.

it is a letter written in honor of National Library Week (i.e., April 18-24, 2004) and in support of local libraries, like the Kellogg-Hubbard Library, in general.

Dear Editor, Times Argus

April 18-24, 2004 is National Library Week.

This realization recently caused me to reflect about how libraries have continued to influence, inspire, educate and guide my learning, knowledge, understanding and overall life from the first day I ever walked into one to the present day.

Over the years I have discovered how much can be learned about a community and its people by exploring its local library.

No matter how large or small a local library may be, each of them have hard working, dedicated and competent librarians and volunteers who staff them, as well as dedicated board members, who serve them. Without the huge commitment these people lend, our libraries would not be able to function properly or, even be able to exist.

Local libraries act as an essential foundation of the lifelong learning resources and capacity our communities and each of its citizens have come to enjoy and count on. It is crucial to ensure that this foundation remains solid, strong and sound.

Public libraries, along with those who work within them, are rich and valuable resources. Yet our local libraries are too often taken for granted and under-funded or, at the very least, far down the food chain when funding considerations are prioritized and allocated.

There is far more to the operation of libraries than meets the eye. If people were to possibly learn a little more about what goes on behind the scenes, they might appreciate better why it is important to properly fund and support our libraries more than already may be the case.

Please make every effort to support and use your local public library as the precious community resource it is.

Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier

an edited version of the above letter to the editor was published in the Saturday, April 24, 2004 edition of the Barre - Montpelier Times Argus, here (third letter down the page, entitled Appreciate, use local libraries).

note: updated this blog post with the more recent edited version:yet another update to provide the link to the published version available online: last updated on Tuesday, April 27, 2004 at 4:40 PM [EDT].

2004-04-20T10:55:00.000-04:00

Sleeping OutSide?

the following is an edited version of something I originally wrote and e-mailed to certain folks on my e-networks late last night (Monday, April 19, 2004). figured I would post it here as well.

sos?: homeless update

no, this is not really an SOS; as in Save Our Souls or whatever it truly stands for.

rather it means, at least in this particular instance anyway being that it is followed by a question mark, that it looks like I may be Sleeping OutSide once again.

am not sure about tonight, once I leave here shortly, if I have a place to stay overnight or not. if not, it will be a long, sleepless, night for certain. at least it is warmer, that is if it does not rain anyway; as the wind has been blowing hard too.

come tomorrow, after about three to four long years of having at least someplace of last resort to stay at, I may just be back to pitching my tent somewhere. that is if a safe place can be found. there are a lot more people tenting out around these parts these days, as the few good places may be either gone or at least not so safe; especially for this lone, unhappy, camper.

sort of knew that this might be coming, in fact I had been quite depressed about it and had not been sleeping well at times as a result over the last five or six weeks.

without going into all the details, the one place in the area that was my sole resource at times is no longer available to me as such as I have decided to vote with my feet and not be associated with it any longer.

simply put, there was more harm to staying than in my going.

it has been made very clear for a while now by various parties involved that I was no longer wanted around; even though the place is supposed to be funded and made safe for people like myself and not such be a place where non-labeled people (i.e., not labeled with severe and persistent mental illness (SPMI)) are allowed to take over, do whatever they want, get away with it over and over, and crowd and then push people like me out.

all too often we are told, including by the head person in charge, in both direct and indirect ways: that if we did not like it, we could leave. so I have left, even though I have nowhere else to go and nothing else to depend on. guess I'd rather live independent and free of abuse, than forced to be made dependent and continually abused, even though it may prove more difficult and stressful, as a result.

to keep up-to-date with these goings on, check my blog. as I will begin updating it accordingly when I am able to -- as time, energy and online access allow.

knowing it would be a long night and also being hungry and already fairly worn out, I decided to eat as good as was possible (am really glad I did too, it was a big help).

after doing that, in addition to making a few phone calls in an attempt to locate a place to stay for the evening and being that it felt urgent to quickly compose and send out the above e-mail concerning my situation, I made use of a little online access avialable to me at that moment in order to do so.

once the e-mail was sent out, I walked around for a time prior to heading for the place where I ended up spending at least part of the night inside.

while not able to get any sleep whatsoever during the four hours I stayed there, it proved helpful laying down and resting for the entire time.

though I am definitely tired, I do not feel so bad, now anyway. am not certain what later will bring however.

so far this morning I received one reply from my e-mail. this particular e-mail message, as well as a few follow up exchanges, came from someone who works for the Vermont Department of Developmental and Mental Health Services (VT DDMHS) (hey, note the excellent new Website design they have there too. great work! it is a vast improvement from what they formerly had available. now if they can only do as good with the actual services they provide, things might actually improve for those of us who depend on them).

am hoping to meet this individual today, as they mentioned they are in town for a meeting and want to speak with me about my current circumstances and also possibly what led to them.

when I am done with my morning online session, I intend to eat at an area soup kitchen for my main (and possibly even sole) meal of the day, before heading off to meet up with the person from the VT DDMHS.

still have no clue what tonight, as well as future nights, will offer. might end up having to pitch my tent somewhere, if I can find the energy and space to do so.

not sure I have any other options left, for the short term anyway.

the long term (i.e., next week), is too far off to even be concerned about now.

these are just facts. nothing more, nothing less.

though it may appear or even sound otherwise, the simple truth is that I do not tend to waste my energy or time feeling sorry for myself during such struggles. it would not help matters any if I bothered.

for more reading material concerning these matters, make sure to read or re-read Dana Szegedy's excellent and well-written essay on this exact subject: An Eye Opening 24-Hour Homeless Experience in Montpelier, Vermont.

Dana was one of five (now former) Sterling College students who spent a night out together one cold rainy evening in Montpelier, Vermont during April of last year (2003).

they began their education that evening in several indepth discussions spanning a variety of matters, including homelessness, housing, mental health, disabilities and related subjects while at the Another Way Drop-In Center before embarking out onto the streets for the night.

more later ...

2004-04-19T19:16:00.000-04:00

at rest

been off-line, attempting to get some much-needed rest, the last week and a half or so.

not much to write about now anyway, but am also very short of energy, time and online access as well.

will try to start blogging again shortly, possibly tomorrow (Tuesday).

2004-04-07T11:35:00.000-04:00

Just for Laughs

Yet another satire news article, this one I wrote and posted on The Spoof this morning.

The Spoof
Nadergate?

Democrats Accuse Ralph Nader of being Republican Clone

Washington, D.C. -- April 7, 2004

Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chairman Terry McAuliffe is reported to have sent off a letter to the Federal Election Commission (FEC) accusing Republicans of secretly cloning Ralph Nader.

In the letter, McAuliffe is said to have stated that he has solid evidence that the Republicans are using their clone as a plant to defeat 2004 Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry in the November general election.

[...]

Enjoy!

2004-04-06T16:53:00.000-04:00

My Latest News' Spoofs

For those whom might enjoy a few laughs, below are links and a few excerpts for some of my latest satire news articles I have recently written and posted on The Spoof:

U.S. Secret Service Use of President George W. Bush Clones, to Act as Body Doubles, Questioned

Washington, D.C. -- April 6, 2004

It has been learned from high level government sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, that the United States Secret Service has been using clones of President George W. Bush to act as body doubles for the President.

The Secret Service is said to have undertaken this initiative, after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, in order to provide improved protection of the President at all times.

[...]

It has also been disclosed that the use of such clones in place of the President is just one of the many questions that will be posed by the 9/11 Commission when National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice appears publicly before them to provide testimony under oath.

This is said to be just one of several reasons why the White House initially had stalled concerning allowing Ms. Rice to provide sworn testimony as well as the previous reluctance of the President and Vice President to appear in private before the entire 9/11 Commission.

President George W. Bush Said to Have Dreams of Pro-Baseball Career

Washington, D.C. -- April 6, 2004

Speaking on condition of anonymity, several White House sources are rumored to have stated privately that President George W. Bush has decided not to run for re-election in 2004 after all.

Apparently, based upon his performance of throwing out the first pitch during the St. Louis Cardinals’ season opener against the Milwaukee Brewers at Busch Stadium in St. Louis, Missouri on Monday (April 5, 2004), the President is said to have been overheard mentioning that he has decided to take up a baseball career as a pitcher.

Several of these same White House sources also shared their opinion that "the President must be dreaming."

[...]

President Bush Vows US Led Coalition Will Find "Weapons of Mass Distraction"

Washington, D.C. -- April 5, 2004

During a short appearance before a throng of cheering supporters gathered outside the White House today, President George W. Bush vowed that no stone will be left unturned within Iraq by the US led coalition, as they continue seeking out the Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD's), which he insists still remain hidden somewhere deep in that war torn nation.

[...]

Enjoy!

2004-04-05T13:32:00.000-04:00

fyi

Received an e-mail last week concerning the following new America's with Disabilities Act (ADA) online resource: ADA Document Portal: The ADA Collection

The ADA Collection consists of about 3,400 documents organized into 10 categories shown in the left column. Use the links in the left column to browse to the individual categories and documents in the collection.

[...]

2004-04-01T11:11:00.000-05:00

Have just posted my satire piece (i.e., President Proclaims April 1st National Holiday: Grants Amnesty to nearly all white-collar criminals) on The Spoof -- a satire news Website -- here.

It is not yet available either on their main page or their US Headlines page yet, but am sure it will be up there eventually.

Have also submitted the satire piece to other satire news Websites elsewhere as well, although this is the first satire news Website where I was able to get it up. The Spoof makes it rather easy actually, as it is basically self-publishing.

In fact, I did not have the means on my end to upload a picture/photo, but shortly after I submitted the piece, someone else took care of it, possibly one of the editors of the site. Not bad! Then when the photo was up, I inserted a photo caption for it, couldn't resist really.

Enjoy!

And please feel free to comment on what you think of the piece as well of course.

2004-04-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

"Homeless" to Be Reclassified

Although I think it may be an old one from a couple of years ago actually, I just came across this news brief that befits today just right.

"Homeless" to Be Reclassified As "Mobile Internet Users"

Washington, D.C.. (SatireWire.com) — According to a new directive from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the estimated 750,000 Americans once considered "homeless" will be reclassified as "mobile Internet users" who choose to have no fixed address because today's improved mobile technologies allow them to live and work from almost anywhere.

"With the proliferation of hand-held devices and laptop computers, mobile Internet access means anyone can now work, shop, and surf via the Internet from almost any location, and to saddle one group of people with the antiquated label of 'homeless' when in fact they may simply be taking advantage of technological freedoms does them a great disservice," said HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson.

Advocacy groups such as the American Coalition for the Mobile Internet User, (formerly the American Coalition for the Homeless) blasted the directive for cutting off funding to MIU shelters and food programs, and pointed out that alleged MIUs don't have computers or PDAs or jobs, not to mention Internet accounts. Thompson, however, said individual MIUs wishing to protest the change should email his office.

Happy April Fools Day!

2004-03-31T13:28:00.000-05:00

Happy Holiday!

Though I do not know if they will use it on their Website, below is an edited version of an item I wrote in jest (of course) and have submitted to News Hax Satire News.

Enjoy!

President Proclaims April 1st National Holiday:

Grants Amnesty to nearly all white-collar criminals

Washington, D.C. -- April 1, 2004

During a press conference with reporters today President George W. Bush announced certain far-reaching proclamations and executive orders.

First in order, President Bush proclaimed April 1st a federal holiday, announcing that he has directed that all federal agencies, buildings and monuments to close for the day.

President Bush simply stated that he wanted to set an example for the business and corporate community, as he is asking business, corporate and political leaders across the country to follow suite, honoring April 1st as a national holiday and giving employees the day off.

"We ask a lot of our hard working taxpaying citizens, this is but a small show of our appreciation for all they do on the job and in their daily lives, especially as they are being over-taxed by Congress," the President stated.

With the closure of school in honor of this particular national holiday, “for those with families, it will also give them another day to spend with their children and other family members, nothing can be more important in my opinion,” President Bush said.

President Bush also mentioned that "it is my hope that besides having yet another day to go shopping and thus helping the economy, citizens across the land will take at least an hour out during the day to stop whatever they are doing and use it to pray for this nation, but most especially that God provide me with the wisdom I am in great need of as the Commander in Chief of our armed forces."

"Maybe God will listen to the urgent prayers of ordinary citizens across our country in this regard, because the Good Lord seems not to have answered my daily prayers, so far anyway," the President added in obvious frustration.

The President also used the press conference to announce that he is granting amnesty to nearly all white-collar criminals whom have either been already convicted of crimes or are currently on trial for crimes.

The one exception he made was for Martha Stewart, who he stated needed to be set as an example for the rest of us who may otherwise get the wrong idea.

"In granting amnesty to nearly all white-collar criminals, except for Martha Stewart, I hope to send a strong message that such crimes and deceit will not be tolerated. Yet with the business and corporate climate the way it is during this time, we need business and corporate leaders at the helm of business, not rotting in prison at taxpayers’ expense," the President said.

The President declined to take questions from the members of the press in attendance and quickly left the room. According to several White House staff, whom each made individual statements on condition of anonymity, he did so in order to go pray.

Happy April Fools Day -- tomorrow (Thursday)!

2004-03-30T11:21:00.000-05:00

Season of Fluidity

Ended up attending yesterday's rune study group after all, although I had to leave a little early in order to catch the last local public transit bus (site still under construction however; in the meantime, for more info go here) to where I have been staying recently.

The group discussed laguz some more, prior to moving onto ingwaz. Then I had to leave just as the group was discussing something else it had begun exploring the week previous, which I hope to be caught up on next week if possible.

The weather is excellent today, warm(er) and sunny. Spring is definitely on its way. Am going to make sure to enjoy some of it while I can, especially before it rains the rest of the week; rain we really need of course though.

Am also trying to catch up on a few things as I had been off-line for a week and a half prior to yesterday (Monday) getting some much needed rest while I could. Have been staying at one of the places I sometimes end up when it works out, will be there until Monday morning. After that I am not sure where I will end up.

May end up camping out for all I know, as there have been certain changes of late and I am no longer staying at one of the places I did as my one place of last resort when nothing else was available and which kept me from being outside at night for the last three years or so. At least the weather is warmer if the need to camp out should arise.

Just remembered though that this may not end being necessary as long as one arrangement that came my way earlier this month of a certain, very temporary, place to stay for a time continues and does not change.

My finances are going to be a major source of additional stress during the month of April, as my budget will be terribly tight, being that I am paying off all my loans and IOU's at the beginning of the month in order to free up my monthly income in latter months if at all possible.

Without going into all the boring and gory details, the way things seem to be working out as well however, I will not be able to get my usual free public transit bus pass as I had been able to do previously and cannot afford even the discounted one myself either.

Let's just say that things may become extremely fluid for me once again, at least beginning in April and maybe for a few extra months after that. The way I look at it though is I have weathered far worse during my life. This too will pass, if I manage to survive through it in one piece anyway.

Am not truly all that worried really though. Am just preparing myself for the many different possibilities -- including any and all opportunities -- that may lay ahead.

2004-03-29T15:45:00.000-05:00

*Updated*

Still Waters Run Deep

For the second week in a row, I will not be able to make it to this evening's (Monday, March 29th) meeting of the local runes study group I came across three weeks ago.

When I checked my e-mail this morning, it included an e-mail that had minutes about last week's meeting, during which they studied laguz.

Although I was not able to attend, some of my own thoughts concerning laguz include how that particular rune seemed to be the shape of certain carvings that may have been featured on some viking ships and had been wondering if laguz was used in some of these instances. Based on what I have read within the minutes of last week's rune study group as well as elsewhere, guess I was correct. Of course it might also be very likely that I based my initial thinking on the Hollywood version of viking ships.

While doing some quick online research on laguz and viking ships this morning, I came across the following (excerpts) which I found concerning laguz. Of particular interest to me was the analysis -- most especially the last two sentences of the first paragraph as well as the entire second paragraph -- of course.

Nordic Runestones: Runes Meanings:

laguz : water

Phonetic equivalent: l

DIVINATORY MEANINGS:

emotions, fears, unconscious mind, things hidden, revelation, intuition, counselling

MAGICAL USES:

enhancing psychic abilities, confronting fears, stabilizing mental or emotional disorders, uncovering hidden things

ASSOCIATED MYTHS & DEITIES:

Njord, Midgard Serpent

ANALYSIS:

When most people think of water, they generally think of its more pleasant associations - peacefulness, love, compassion, intuition, and the emotions in general. However, we must remember that, to the Norse, water most often meant the sea, and the sea was a terrifying, unpredictable place, home of the Midgard serpent and the grave of many sailors. Laguz, then, should be thought of in terms of the lighter and the darker sides of the element of water. It speaks to our primal fears of the dark, the cold, and all those terrifying things hidden deep
within our subconscious minds.

Like eihwaz, which forced the journeyer to confront his or her mortality, laguz makes us examine the underlying roots of our personality and behavior, and allows us to modify those aspects which are hindering our spiritual development. The understanding and wisdom gained through eihwaz and the runes which followed have prepared the journeyer to face this darker side (represented by laguz) and accept it as an integral part of their selves. Laguz also prepares the person to take on the task of helping others through this self-examination process, allowing them to empathize more strongly and share their own experiences, making it (among other things) the rune of the spiritual counselor.

Extremely interesting as well as very strong and spiritual -- *deep* -- stuff me thinks.

As I ponder the above quoted excerpts a little more, I think of how -- like an ocean voyage -- (as everyone already well knows) life is an unpredictable journey, as full of dangers as it is of wonders: one best shared with others closest with and to us, whom we can trust as well as count on -- especially when it matters most (and not to be taken alone, at least not until we embark upon the final journey from this life to the next on our own).

Laguz is definitely a good rune for such journeys.

Some additional reading I came across concerning my online search re: laguz and viking ships was found at the following various sources:

Laguz/Laukaz -- by Jordsvin

The Old English Rune Poem refers to the danger inherent in ocean travel. The Old Norse Rune Rhyme refers to the force of falling water, and the value of gold objects. The Old Icelandic Rune Poem has a LOT to say about this rune, and does so in only three lines, mentioning "churning water," "wide kettle," and "land of fish." All of these themes will be covered in this article. The oceans represent both great danger and great riches to be won (think of Norse fishermen and Vikings, both lucrative but dangerous occupations). Laguz, as the rune of bodies of water, oceans included, is no different!

As befits a rune with two names, this one has a double edge as it were. Healing at one pole, insanity at the other. While the runes are relatively "safe" in divination, when it comes to using runes for magick, especially healing magick applied to another person, heed Egil Skallagrimson's warning and handle with care and only after careful study and training! Laguz is one of the more dangerous runes, although subtly so. You'll notice several meaning of Laguz overlap with those of Perthro. Perthro will help you, in time, safely access the mysteries of Laguz. The same warning of potential danger that I just gave you for runic magick, by the way, goes equally well for herbalism. Aside from treating your own minor ailments, like peppermint tea for a tummyache, be aware that it requires YEARS of study to become a competent herbalist. If that be a path you choose to follow; Kenaz, Jera, and of course Laukaz will be of great help as you study!

Uppsala -- Runes: Laguz

Ocean is to people / seemingly unending / if they should venture out / on an unsteady ship / and the sea-waves / frighten them very much / and the brine-stallion / does not heed its bridle. - Anglo-Saxon Rune Poem

Water is that which falls from the mountain; as a force; / but gold objects are costly things. - Old Norwegian Rune Rhyme

Wetness is churning water, / and a wide kettle / and the land of fish. - Old Icelandic Rune Poem

Laguz is water, the ocean, that which flows. There are two faces to this mystery. One is as the provider of fish, as described in the Icelandic rune poem, the road to other lands where plunder might be obtained by the viking, the road to new homes for the settler. In this aspect laguz represents the road to plenty. The other face is a danger, a wrecker of ships, a drowner of men, the endless abyss. Laguz is the road of adventure, ever-changing, full of danger and treasure. It leads to new opportunities both bright and dark. The athling is thus advised to become a sailor, as it were, someone who knows how to travel upon this road, someone who can make the brine-stallion heed its bridle. To put it simply, to venture into the abyss the athling must learn to swim.

One final, and very brief, item:

WWPN Paths of the Norse People: tales and folklore:

Laguz, L Laguz is the rune associated with water. Water cleanses and refreshes. It finds its own level, and it contains the teeming flow of life. It reflects the sky above it, and mirrors the calmness or ferocity of the wind that flows over it.

Have already received two of the Rune books, via inter-library loan, that someone in the runes study group had recommended to me at my first meeting three weeks ago; but have to bring them back to the library really soon.

One of the things I read that interested me a lot was of how that one can practice moving (i.e., movements or forms), healing and protecting one's energy (i.e., life force or what the Chinese refer to as *chi*) by movements and mediation based on the runes, which appears similar to the ancient art of Tai Chi too -- (that I have been interested in though never have gotten around to doing), however the Nordic practice is more in keeping with my ancient, cultural, *roots* of course.

By the way: the heading (i.e., title: still waters run deep. for more information on the use or meaning of this 15th century proverb, go here and here) of this particular blog post is what someone mentioned concerning or in describing me once, a long while back.

Speaking of which, my first name, Morgan, happens to be a Teutonic ( as well as a Gaelic) name and basically means sea dweller, from the sea, by the sea, etc.

A very general description of the name of Morgan, one I came across about a year or so ago on the Kabalarians Website (here), ironically enough seems to fit all too well:

The name of Morgan has given you sensitivity and appreciation for the finer and deeper things in life. You can enjoy reading, study, and contemplation about many different subjects. When your interests or curiosity are aroused, you work intensely at new undertakings, but your interests often wane when you encounter drudgery and monotony, with the result that you leave many things unfinished. Your name has taken you into many bitter experiences. The greatest lack in your life is stability and peace of mind. A peaceful and quiet environment, especially out in nature, is one of your greatest desires, but you are constantly taken into chaotic conditions. Because you have high ideals and are a principled person, you have been disillusioned and disappointed in people on many occasions and have experienced much aloneness.

Hmmm. Strange, but still true, if I say so myself.

*Note*: Opps. Realized last night (Monday) that I mistakenly used the wrong word as the first word of the header (title) of this particular blog post. Meant to use the word Still instead of the word Quiet as I initially had used; also added some links leading to definitions of the saying still waters run deep; in addition, made certain edits to paragraph three for the sake of clarification, also included the provision of a link concerning viking ships for further information: last updated on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 at 10:43 AM [EST]

2004-03-15T18:56:00.000-05:00

Letter to the Editor

Last Monday (March 8th), after I spotted mallard ducks on a partly iced river in town, I composed a rough letter to the editor concerning it and quickly submitted the letter online to the Barre - Montpelier Times Argus. Then, later the same evening, I completely rewrote the letter and resubmitted it via e-mail.

Was pleasantly surprised when I received a response from an editor from the newspaper in short order, confirming that they had gotten the letter and were intending on publishing it sometime, once their backlog of letters were published ahead of mine anyway.

Below is my letter to the editor as published in today's newspaper. They did some, mostly minor, editing and polishing of my letter for me, however it is much better and I am very pleased by it.

Monday, March 15, 2004
Barre - Montpelier Times Argus
Barre - Montpelier, Vermont
Opinion section
Letter to the Editor
Welcome signs of things to come
[6th letter down of seven published]

There are definitely some things in life that are simply worth stopping for, even if only for a few spare moments of our time, especially after such a long, hard, cold Vermont winter.

While walking across the Rose Lucia Bridge on School Street on my way to the Kellogg-Hubbard Library late one afternoon I happened upon one of these moments, a welcome sign of spring: three healthy-looking mallard ducks standing on a medium-sized slab of ice in the North Branch River. This was all it took to cause me to pause just long enough in my tracks for a gaze before continuing on to my destination.

Certainly a most welcome and hopeful sign of better things to come, indeed, one I will keep firmly in mind, at least until spring eventually arrives.

Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier

By the way: It is now a week later after I spotted the ducks, wrote the letter and blogged about it as well of course and, there is no more ice on the rivers, around here anyway.

2004-03-12T11:09:00.000-05:00

One Hell of a Choice

Last evening (Thursday) a friend shared the following joke with me and then forwarded it to me via e-mail so I could post it here.

Enjoy.

While walking down the street one day, a female senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the lady.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down to Hell.

The doors open, and she finds herself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all her friends and other politicians who had worked with her.

Everyone is very happy. They run to greet her, hug her, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before she realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives her a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for her.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time, and before she realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now, choose the place where you want to spend eternity."

She reflects for a minute and then answers: "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator, and she goes down, down, down to Hell.

Now, the doors of the elevator open, and she is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all her friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.

The Devil comes over to her and lays his arm on her neck.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and we danced and had a great time. Now there is a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at her, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted for us!"

Thank you Peter (the one who shared the joke with me anyway).

2004-03-11T15:29:00.000-05:00

*Updated*

Give Me a Break

While hanging out at the Another Way Drop-in Center this morning, I came across the March 15th edition of Newsweek with Martha Stewart's face plastered on the cover.

As I scanned through the news magazine, I happened upon the following column that generally articulates what has been my thinking on the subject. Actually I am in total agreement with what this particular columnist wrote as well as how he wrote it.

Newsweek
She's a Criminal? Give Me a Break.

Today the Feds whack Stewart for daring to defend herself. Watch out, my friend, it could be your turn in the barrel tomorrow

By Allan Sloan
Newsweek

March 15 issue - The Martha Stewart case creeps me out. And I'm not a Martha fan. I don't like Martha Stewart, I am congenitally unstylish, I've spent my career trying to help people without connections understand what's going on so that they have a chance of getting a fair shake from the connected and the powerful: the people like Stewart. Heck, I even criticized greed and overreaching during the '90s, when most of journalism was kissing up to (now busted) dot-com billionaires and (now disgraced) celebrity CEOs and (now humiliated) analysts who never saw a stock they didn't like.

But the Stewart case bothers me, big time. First, I don't consider Stewart's real misdeeds—stupidity and greed and cluelessness—to be criminal offenses. Second, people are treating the Stewart case as seriously as Enron when it's really over trivia. Look. Enron and WorldCom and Global Crossing and Adelphia have done huge damage. Thousands of people lost their jobs and lifetime savings as a result of this corporate misbehavior, stockholders lost vast amounts of money, creditors were cheated, entire communities were so damaged they may never recover. These things aren't as mediagenic as the Stewart trial, and don't offer the same malicious glee people get from watching an icon crumble. But they're a helluva lot more important than Stewart's case, which has used up so much journalistic oxygen.

Stewart's trial wasn't about corporate misbehavior. It was about misleading the government, which was investigating her for a crime—insider trading—that she was never charged with. If Stewart weren't such a big name, who'd care about this stuff? For heaven's sake. [...]

[...]

The entire column is a must-read, I highly recommend it!: I only wish that I knew or otherwise could learn how to put it as good as Newsweek columnist Allan Sloan did.

In my opinion, thinking people across our nation should use the column to help measure what has been such a wasteful use of taxpayers dollars.

Too bad there is not going to be any real or meaningful accountability regarding those within our government who are (or rather should be held) responsible concerning these matters.

Which of course, as a homeless activist, causes me to seriously question just how many people living homeless across the USA could have been housed and also provided other voluntary services, if all those millions of dollars had been used in that fashion, instead of being spent on persecuting (prosecuting i.e.,) Martha Stewart and the other person on *trial* with her as well.

What a wasteful folly.

*Note*: Made mostly minor edits of my own personal comments (above; both prior to and following the quoted column excerpts) for the purposes of clarification and readability only; and, opps, one late catch of a spelling error that the spell checker could not flag as it was a correctly spelled word: i.e., the use of trail instead of *trial* in the second to last paragraph: last updated on Thursday, March 12, 2004 at 8:10 AM [EST].

2004-03-11T14:19:00.000-05:00

*Updated*

Northern Vermont Nader in 2004 Meetup

Read the *Update*: March 11th Meetup Report, scroll halfway down that particular post for the Nader 2004 Meetup update.

As part of National Nader in 2004 Meetup Day (2nd Thursday of every month), this month's Northern Vermont Nader in 2004 Meetup is being held this evening (Thursday, March 11th) at 7:00 PM at the Thrush Tavern on State Street in Montpelier.

Here are the details [emphasis mine]:

What: National Nader in 2004 Meetup Day
When: Thursday, Mar 11 @ 7PM
Who: Nader in 2004 Supporters and friends
Where: Thrush Tavern
107 State Street
Montpelier, VT 05602
802-223-2030
Find Nader in 2004 Supporters near: Entrance

A few things to do:

1) Show up at your Meetup and be on time [...]
2) Invite a friend: http://nader2004.meetup.com/tellfriends/
3) Bring a digital camera to show your Meetup to the world! See: http://nader2004.meetup.com/photos/recap
4) Support the venues that have opened their doors to Nader in
2004 Meetups -- buy a drink, and don't forget the waitstaff & bartenders!

--snip, snip, snip--

Member Created Agenda

* 1. Constitute Ourselvs as Campaign Committie; 2 Affiliate
with National Nader Pres. Campaign
* Stratigies and plans to collect signatures, so Mr. Nader will
appear on the in November 2004 in all 50 states.
* endorse may 1st peace festival with green party of oc and the
catholic worker of oc and ask ralph to speak

find out more at nader2004.meetup.com

Information concerning what is required regarding ballot access in Vermont is available online via the Vermont Secretary of State's Website page on Vermont Presidential Primary and General Election: Calendar and Procedures for 2004 (Instructions for ballot access for candidates).

Scroll down to Page 3 Vermont Presidential Candidate Ballot Access: Calendar and Filing Deadlines for Minor Party or Independent Presidential Candidates for the General Election.

2004-03-10T12:54:00.000-05:00

Think Globally, Act Locally

If you and others whom you know are interested in doing something within your own region concerning homelessness and affordable housing, join together with others in your local area:

2004-03-10T09:35:00.000-05:00

Springtime Beckons

Had really wanted to attend the Dowsers/healing meeting last evening (Tuesday), but a non-profit organization I network with was in dire need of volunteer help and, after a 1:30 PM start, it just took much longer than I had thought it would and I did not leave there until just prior to eight o'clock at night.

As I am very interested in learning more about dowsing/healing and the particular group that meets locally for these purposes, I will try to attend another time, if nothing else comes up to intervene from my doing so anyway.

It is an excellent sunny day out this morning.

More later ...

2004-03-09T03:02:00.000-05:00

*Updated*

Welcome Signs

There are definitely some things in life that are simply worth stopping for, even if only for a few spare moments of our time, especially after such a long, hard, cold Vermont winter.

While walking across the Rose Lucia Bridge on School Street on my way to the Kellogg-Hubbard Library late Monday (March 8, 2004) afternoon, I happened upon one of these moments, a welcome sign of spring: three healthy looking mallard ducks (one male and two females) standing on a medium-sized slab of ice in the North Branch River. This was all it took to cause me to pause just long enough in my tracks for a gaze before continuing on to my destination.

Certainly a most welcome and hopeful sign of better things to come indeed: One I will keep firmly in mind, at least until Spring eventually arrives and, then, later finally brings forth everything else that is sure to follow along.

Then yesterday (Monday) as well, during the evening, just as I was about to leave the Kellogg-Hubbard Library -- after having read various newspapers and using the public access computers there, I happened to come across a notice about a Runes study group that was meeting upstairs. So I checked it out and stayed for the remainder of their meeting.

One of the people there was a person I actually already knew, not to mention being someone whom I happen to have a lot of trust in anyway. This particular individual is also a healer and dowser.

An intending on attending the next meeting of the Runes Study group, which will be two weeks from now. They usually meet weekly, but there will be no meeting next week, as most of them will be away then.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) evening I will be checking out a dowser/healing meeting being held elsewhere in Montpelier.

Very interesting stuff. Even more good signs of things to come. Just what my Norse spirit has been in need of all these many years, after being in search for so long of a greater knowledge as well as a deeper and better understanding of my actual ancestral and spiritual roots.

flowers of hope (II)

hope still abides, deep within;
waiting only to blossom,
once the warmth of Spring
beckons it forth again,
so it may grow and become
fruitful; after hibernating
during yet another of life's
long, bitterly cold, winter seasons.

by Morgan W. Brown
March 9, 2004
Montpelier, Vermont

flowers of hope (I)

searching for flowers of hope
within the snow and ice of a cold,
indifferent and hostile world;
growing impatient for life's endless
winter to pass, since spring's warmth
may not be enough to compel these
expectant blossoms to rise and flower.

like so many others mindlessly
trampled, leaving the world barren;
desolate of those whose faith, beauty,
passion, strength and resolve would
usually still be able to rise, had they not
had that spirit carelessly plucked from them.

by Morgan W. Brown
White River Junction, Vermont
March 1999

To read from the author's previously private journal concerning the time period the above poem [i.e., flowers of hope (I)] was written, go to: Norsehorse's Home Turf Retro-Blog: A blast from the past.

Yet another related poem, provided below for certain contextual purposes, which was written roughly two months after flowers of hope (I).

a home is a garden of life

let people find a place
where they can plant
fertile seeds-that contain
their own hopes and dreams,
from which they may then
draw harvests of plenty to
share with others and,
which they will call home,
for it is a garden where
lives thrive and are grown.

by Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier, Vermont
May 1999

*Updated*

There is a lot of information available online concerning runes, including the following that I found of particular interest:

The Anglo-Saxon Rune Poem (in Modern English)

2004-03-05T06:22:00.000-05:00

The Political is Personal

As any visitor to this blog can tell, it has been quite a long time between blog posts for me here on this personal blog of mine.

The reasons for this are many, but other than the more usual ones (i.e., not having enough energy, time, online access or good health), the main distraction that has kept me from blogging here is I have been busy with my political blogs.

So, unless I manage to find a way to blog here more often, if you want to keep up with me and what I am up to these days, you will find me hard at work -- blogging on my recently created Unofficial Vote4Nader Blog: An *unofficial* blog in support of the 2004 Independent Presidential campaign and candidacy of Ralph Nader.

Of course, prior to setting that blog up, I had been blogging the Question Dean Blog as regularly as I could manage.

As far as answering questions concerning how I am doing goes, my simple answer is: Okay, which is far better than not of course.

2003-12-29T23:06:00.000-05:00

*Updated*

Door to Door:
Life of a salesman

On Christmas eve day (Wednesday, December 24, 2003), I was able to get a place to stay for five days and nights all to myself -- complete with cable television of course, as I sometimes do to rest up and relax.

Except for Friday, the day after Christmas, I pretty much stayed put.

Friday however, I took time and made the effort to into town in order to get some online work done and, later, to also attend a portion of the weekly supper at the Another Way Drop-In Center in Montpelier. Being quite tired though, I headed back on the last bus, instead of waiting around and getting a ride back with a friend when they were headed home sometime later possibly.

Among the things I enjoy about such stays -- what I term as rest ups, is to watch lots of television, especially the types of movies I enjoy the most. This time though, even with all those cable channels, there was hardly anything on.

Christmas day was like this as well and that evening started out to be much more of the same, or so I thought anyway. It was sort of frustrating. Yet as I was scanning at my usual high speed through the hundred plus channels, all of a sudden I came across a movie I never saw or heard of before that managed to catch my eye.

Something, I cannot remember what exactly, made me pause just long enough to stay put on that channel, as otherwise, I would have missed out on an excellent story.

The movie, Door to Door is the inspirational, moving and well portrayed story of Bill Porter, Life of a salesman.

Bill Porter's story is about a man, his life, his life's work and his accomplishments, along with the many relationships that are among the core fabric of the life he has woven and, of course, continues to live and share with others in his own unique and creative fashion.

While I missed the start of the movie, luckily I only missed the first five or ten minutes of it and, believe me, it kept my attention, riveted straight through the entire movie.

If you have not yet watched Door to Door, I highly and personally recommend you do so as soon as is possible.

It is my opinion that you will not regret doing so. This is indeed a must-experience movie.

In fact, this is what a People Magazine review featured on CNN back on July 3, 2002 had to say about it:

People

Picks & Pans

Reviews: 'MIB II,' Papa Roach, others

July 3, 2002 Posted: 4:35 PM EDT (2035 GMT)

(PEOPLE) -- This week, PEOPLE looks at "Men in Black II," the new album from Papa Roach, and the TV movie "Door to Door."

[...]

TV review: 'Door to Door'

TNT (Sunday, July 14, 8 p.m. ET)

It's the American character, right? Have to sell yourself. Have to hustle to make a mark, to skirt the humiliating oblivion of failure -- all that desperate Death of a Salesman stuff about riding out there on nothing but a shoeshine and a smile. Yet here is a two-hour movie, based on fact, that turns the life of a salesman into a touching fable about getting on in the world without having too many toes bruised by slamming doors.

Bill Porter, now 69, was born with cerebral palsy that affected his speech and movement. But he had the skill and drive to make a living peddling household goods from rug shampoo to doggie biscuits in Portland, Oregon, for a company called Watkins.

As played by William H. Macy, Porter doesn't triumph through tear-stained gumption (let alone Forrest Gumption). He's a modest, thoughtful man, raised by a modest, thoughtful mother (Helen Mirren) who writes "persistence" with ketchup on his sandwiches. (A sweet, farklemt moment.) After her death -- and with the help of a college student (Kyra Sedgwick) for deliveries -- he finds a surrogate family in his customers, all beset by their own problems. Some are solved, some aren't. Porter, meanwhile, is out there with a smile, a shoeshine and his integrity.

Bottom Line: Inspired

To top it off, in September 2003, Door to Door won six Emmy Awards, four of them major ones.

Yet if you do not get cable or satellite television to watch it when or if it is ever rebroadcasted again anyway, but have either a vcr or dvd player, one could buy or rent the video or dvd.

However if you are like myself and others who have little, if any, access to a television (let alone cable or satellite channels, or a vcr or dvd player) of their own, maybe someone else whom you know will allow you to view it either at their place or at another place were you and others may gather.

It is certainly worth the effort.

A visit to Bill Porter's Website is a must as well. If you take the time to browse through the pages available on this particular Website, you will find a wealth of interesting information.

For example, on the Movie and Book Updates page, you will find comments from Bill Porter about the movie, including:

I loved the movie. Bill Macy did a tremendous job! Sometimes I thought I was looking in the mirror. I can't get over how Helen Mirren and Kyra Sedgwick portrayed the two most important people in my life. I felt as though I were watching my own mother and dear friend Shelly. I have great friendships with my customers. Even though the customers in the movie were fictionalized, they reminded me of many of the people I have sold to over the years. I cried when Kathy Baker's character died as I thought of so many of my customers and friends who are now gone.

Oh, one more thing . . . the Bradys did buy my house because my back went out in 1993 and I asked Shelly and John to help me out. I have been living in my home since the 1960s and live there still . . . I never moved out like the movie suggested. I was concerned that people might be worried about where I was living.

I love my job as a salesman and I think it was a great movie about a guy who loves to sell! I hope you enjoyed it!

[...]

Make to sure to read the entire page of course.

You can also read more about Door to Door, including interviews of actor William H. Macy and Bill Porter, featured in the Ability Magazine article: Door to Door Actor and Inspiration, Bill Porter.

Bill Porter's story is one that has definitely helped inspire me during a crucial time when I found myself needing it most very recently. Maybe it will do so either for you or someone else you know.

Thank you Bill Porter for offering your story and your life's work to the world in this way.

We are truly better enriched by your generous as well as gracious sharing of it with all of us.

*Note*: Removed a link that was no longer directing to the proper page; just the URL however, kept the content, concerning the Movie and Book Updates page of Bill Porter's Website: last updated on Friday, March 5, 2004 at 7:10 AM [EST].

2003-12-22T12:33:00.000-05:00

wishes of the season
and for the
coming new year
(2004)

am wishing only that peace,
joy and happiness rule
within or, even better, bless
your mind, heart, soul and life
along with everyone else
throughout the entire world

Note: Edited & updated version

2003-12-17T15:03:00.000-05:00

In My Own Words:
rather my own voice that is

Click onto either the icon or the words "audio post" below, in order to listen to a brief audio blog post I made today via Audblog, using the free one-time trial offer available to those who use Blogger to blog their blogs.

The sound quality of the audio post is sort of poor however: i.e., being difficult to hear regarding the level of volume; possibly due to my not speaking loud enough over the phone when I called in to record the audio blog post. So it may be good to boost the volume up; just watch out for the end though, as when it ends there is a very loud click or beep that kills one's ears, if one has headphones on with which to listen.

audio post powered by audblog

For those who are either lack the capability to listen to audio online or who otherwise cannot hear the post due to it being so low as to the level of volume when recorded, here is a transcript:

"Greetings. Just wanted to [pause] say hello to everybody visiting Norsehorse's Home Turf. Thank you for visiting and reading the blog. [pause] I'll try to [brief pause] post more often when I am able to. I've been pretty busy with the Question Dean Blog these days. Peace. [*very loud beep*]"

The audio post is quite brief, since I was trying to keep it really short as the free trial has a limit of only one minute maximum length.

2003-12-09T15:47:00.000-05:00

Question Dean Blog Blogger

For those who have come across my earlier post (see below) concerning the Question Dean Blog, which I blogged last week when the blog was still be blogging under a pseudonym: If you had not guessed it already, I am that blogger.

This is what I have been so engaged and busy with, since first creating that particular blog on Thursday, November 20, 2003.

Had little time, online access or energy for doing much else, except for maintaining that blog and trying to keep up with the usual e-mail as well.

Have just decided to blog the Question Dean Blog using my real name, as all my other blogging is done.

In addition, last week I was contacted by a reporter associated with a major east coast newspaper who is doing an article, according to them, from the technology aspect concerning people blogging about politics and Presidential campaigns, what motivated such bloggers to do so and why?

Agreeing to be interviewed, I spent roughly half an hour on the phone for a direct interview with the reporter.

If and when the article hits the street and online editions of their newspaper, I'll blog a post with the Web address for it.

Cannot promise much though, it is a fact that I am not always very good at such interviews and may not come across so well. Maybe I will feel better tomorrow if I can manage to get more sleep tonight, than was gotten last evening.

2003-12-02T13:49:00.000-05:00

Question Dean Blog

Highly Recommended

After taking another prolonged break from most of my usual online work and much else of late as well, found among what is a vast ocean of Presidential candidate "Howard Dean Fan Club" type of blogs, I came across an item that has been something of keen interest to me for a while posted up on an unusual as well as recently created blog that bills itself as being the "Question Dean Blog."

According to the blogs description, it is a "blog focused on questions that have arisen within the public domain concerning Howard Dean, his record of public service and his run for the White House in the 2004 Presidential race.

"This blog is blogged by an individual independent activist, blogging under" the name of Sean E. Charcot, "a pseudonym" for someone living in the State of Vermont.

A kindred spirit so close to home. What a small world. Go figure.

The item of particular import to me is the blog post: Friends of Shooting Victim Say Howard Dean Failed Him.

In addition, for background it is suggested that one also read: Plump & Well Stuffed Political Turkey.

Regular visits to the Question Dean Blog are highly recommended.

2003-11-19T21:38:00.000-05:00

Bummer in Burlington

Went up to Burlington to attend an event held today (Wednesday, November 19, 2003) as part of National Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week.

While the event had a few minor good points, it was mainly the typical homeless provider and company run dog and pony show, which some had previously suggested to me that it would most likely be all along of course. As such, it proved to be rather disappointing.

It seemed to turn into the usual provider sympathy fest crossed with the *lets all feel good because we are doing a great job and we just need more ... especially money*, kind of stuff. blah, blah, blah.

Just another day at the office where people who are homeless get used once again to promote the need for their one size fits all homeless programs that do not manage to work for those most in need (not everyone anyway) that they are said to be for in the first place.

Nothing more is offered but some sorry excuse as to why. Except that they seem to find ways to blame everyone else, including - at times - people who are homeless.

There are plenty of people who are not being helped by the homeless provider system in Vermont, including in Burlington, and they want more to keep doing what they cannot manage to do year after year.

The Burlington homeless service provider community itself seems to keep wanting even more of the funding pie than it already gets and its existing piece is huge.

They sure were trying to look their best for the press. And, guess what, within several weeks or possibly even within a few days, everyone will go back to normal and forget all about homelessness, not to mention those who are living homeless. But hey, do not forget to send those hard earned dollars to the homeless providers no matter what.

Some people just do not seem to ever get it, as if they can do no wrong and everything is as they say it is because, well, they believe it and said so. Plus they have been doing it for so long, etc., that they know better as well as best everything there is to know about these matters. Making it very clear that anyone who does not view things the particular way they happen to, does not know what their talking about and have nothing of value to contribute for that matter either.

Hmmmm.

Maybe the funds would be better spent if we were to give people who are homeless the space the homeless providers across the state take up for their offices, etc., and in addition use the money now being used for their programs and use these funds to create real housing with, doing it sooner rather than later.

Then let the homeless providers find other jobs out there or otherwise let them be the ones begging on the street, *canning*-(collecting returnable bottles) or working low wage day labor jobs as a source of funding they think is needed for their pet programs.

Aaaaagh! What a frustrating day.

Let's just say that today's event was a bummer. It was a complete waste of time, at least for anyone who is homeless -- in my opinion anyway and I am of course only speaking for myself as is usual.

2003-11-17T15:34:00.000-05:00

Must Read Blog Post

During a Google search concerning blogs and homeless relating to work I am doing this afternoon (Monday, November 17, 2003) on the newly established Homeless Blogs Webring, I came across a blog post that concerns homelessness and people who live or have lived homeless that I consider to be a must read.

This particular post that caught my attention is Ken Goti died.

The post was originally posted way back on Thursday, September 04, 2003 and is featured on the personal blog of Benedict Spinoza - Benedict@Large. I think I may have come across mention of it somewhere else around that time, however I just did not manage to get around to reading it back then.

2003-11-17T09:03:00.000-05:00

Updated Post

Celebrating 48 Today

Am celebrating my 48th birthday in my usual low-key manner today (November 17, 2003).

Will not really be doing much to celebrate of course, accept for treating myself to some really superb apple pie I am intending on purchasing to honor my birthday with.

Of course my intention includes eating my slice of apple pie per Act of the Vermont Legislature:

"No. 15 of the Acts of 1999, effective May 10, 1999, designated the apple pie as the official State Pie and the apple as the official State Fruit. When serving apple pie in Vermont, a "good faith" effort shall be made to meet one or more of the following conditions: (a) with a glass of cold milk, (b) with a slice of cheddar cheese weighing a minimum of 1/2 ounce, (c) with a large scoop of vanilla ice cream."

Did not manage to get around to treating myself to a breakfast as previously planned and posted about (within this particular blog post here) earlier this morning however.

At the weekly supper held at the Another Way Drop-in Center this past Friday evening, along with the usual good food offered, was a fudge chocolate frosted Devil's food birthday cake made by someone there. The cake was really good and well appreciated by everyone. Ice cream is usually available for desert and last Friday was no exception.

Note: Updated post with either new or more current information, including a certain item about the official State Pie I intended to post earlier but did not have enough time to do so then as someone else wanted to use the computer I was using then: post last updated on Monday, November 17, 2003 at 12:19 PM [EST].

2003-11-14T14:02:00.000-05:00

Join the Homeless Blogs Webring

Are you a person who is either living homeless or were formerly living homeless?

Do you have your own Blog (i.e., an online journal)?

If you have a blog: is your blog focused on homelessness and/or life in general -- yet does include a focus on matters relating to homelessness or experiences of being homeless, based on your own personal lived experience and unique perspective?

Is it a blog that is owned, managed and blogged by you?

If so, then please consider submitting your blog for consideration by this particular Webring's owner and, if your membership is approved by them, becoming a member of the Homeless Blogs Webring.

2003-11-14T07:37:00.000-05:00

Updated Post

Winter Already

This area got hit with between 8 to 12 inches of snow, plus the wind was blowing wicked strong. Brrrr.

It seems that winter is ready to move in on us sooner rather than later. Not sure how long it will last however, probably not for long before it melts away, though it can be hard to tell.

This is the first real snow up here so far and I have always enjoyed such, especially around now, as -- like I mentioned in an earlier blog post this month -- I take it as being an early birthday present.

Though this is not a current photo, as it was taken last winter, here in this photo is basically what it looks like around this place today.

Note: Updated post with the addition of the fourth paragraph for some show and tell. In addition, just corrected the first paragraph concerning the estimation of how many inches of snow and updated the rest of it per the current weather conditions at the moment: post last updated on Friday, November 14, 2003 at 11:30 AM [EST].

2003-11-14T06:57:00.000-05:00

How Massachusetts

Came across a quiz concerning how Massachusetts one may be this morning over on the blog of Crystal Evans, "a homeless girl" living in Boston.

Based on my long experience living in Massachusetts from the time I was four or five years old until I moved to Vermont in 1988, with the exception of those years spent elsewhere either on the road so-to-speak or when I landed in another state for a certain amount of time, it seems that people in the Bay State enjoy (or at least have this deep need for) giving as well as taking quizzes, tests and exams concerning anything and everything under the sun.

Maybe they have something to prove, though for the life of me I do not know why, not that I really have a need to know really either. If I were more Massachusetts like, I probably would just instinctively have the need to know however, pure and simple.

For my part I could never stand taking quizzes, tests or exams in school and it seemed that we were being given them all the time too. This was indeed a major distraction from the learning that should have been taking place. It created a lot of frustration on my part.

Then there is the fact that I never ever felt at home in Massachusetts. When someone asks me if I am from there, I usually reply with "no, not really, I was just plopped there when I was young," which is actually the truth of it.

This could be part of why, when I took the quiz myself this morning, I scored a 68% on the "How Massachusetts are YOU?" Quizie! What about you?

Do not get me wrong though, I am not trashing the state of Massachusetts, those who may live there or otherwise anyone who is actually from the state yet no longer living there, in any fashion at all.

It is just that I never fit in well, nor did I enjoy myself, while living there. There are few fond memories I have of my time spent living there, with the exception being those few very close relationships that were formed with certain people.

Whether it was the Bay State or another state elsewhere, I never felt truly at home until I moved to Vermont.

This probably has more to do with my own personal nature and personality, as to why I seem to feel much better here in Vermont than I had ever had felt during all those many years while living in Massachusetts.

2003-11-13T12:07:00.000-05:00

My Personality Type:
INFP
(Introvert iNtuitive Feeling Perceptive)

The Idealist

Too often my personality -- along with myself, my motivations, thinking, humor and my words -- has been greatly misunderstood and vastly misjudged.

This can be very frustrating for not only others -- who feel and maybe even believe that they could never possibly understand me, nor figure out how to deal with me effectively, but for me as well of course.

For those whom are interested in learning more about who I truly am -- who I always have been and will continue to be no matter what -- at least concerning the true nature of my personality - i.e., its type, I suggest reading more about INFP's, including the following:

Portrait of an INFP
Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition)

You're an INFP

Careers for INFP Personality Types

INFP Relationships

The Healer Style:
Portrait of the Healer (iNFp)

I N F P
Introvert iNtuitive Feeling Perceptive

2003-11-11T12:56:00.000-05:00

Random Thoughts,
Stormy Clouds

Gaining Internet access was very difficult to come by this morning (Tuesday, November 11, 2003), but luckily by this afternoon it ended up not proving to be impossible.

Then there is the problem of my low energy level, not to mention generally how I have been feeling, along with what there may be to do to first get and secondly keep me engaged.

Am going through what seems to have come to be an annual ritual that includes contemplation, self-examination and reflection, not unusual for me this time of year since my birthday is next Monday (November 17, 2003).

It is not a fun process to say the least, especially when things have been stagnant for so long and nothing has really changed, especially for the better. Yet this is what happens pretty much each and every year, whether it is enjoyed or not, as it is just part of who I am.

The process has its low as well as high points, can take a while to get through and eventually can lead to possibly lightening the load at times.

The last two or three weeks have found me feeling really edgy and uneasy sometimes, without knowing what the reason may be, other than I have been struggling a little with a heavy duty cold and also having a lot trouble sleeping well or at all at times too.

Been having moments when consideration on giving up and not going on any longer is far too easy, however feeling and doing are two vastly different things. Of course I have been through much worse in the past.

Usually during such times, I just try to refocus my mind onto something, someone or someplace else. Have been trying to keep myself busy whenever the energy exists to do so.

Recently though, certain things I have been trying to either become or remain active with, have only been providing a source for huge amounts of frustration as well as disappointment. That is all I will say about them at this point anyway.

Whatever it is that is happening, if anything at all, this too shall pass. While I have not felt like I am doing good or am in a good place either, I am otherwise maintaining as best as is possible.

It helped having a place to hole up this past weekend to sleep in as much as I wanted, have some much needed privacy and a place all to myself.

The heat just came on where I am working online. As I glanced over for a look toward the noise, I was surprised to see that it had begun to snow a little outside. This is taken to be an early birthday present, as it almost always helps to improve my mood a little this time of year.

2003-11-10T13:36:00.000-05:00

Announcement:

Committee on Temporary Shelter (COTS)
Sponsored Event
National Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week
Burlington, Vermont
Wednesday, November 19, 2003

2003-11-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

Homeless Pop-under Experiment:

Sharing Norsehorse's Home Turf Visitor's
with the
Bringing America Home Campaign
during this coming season of giving

In the spirit of what the Internet and especially Blogging gave birth to as well as the coming season of giving, today begins an experiment in sharing visitors who come to this blog with the Bringing America Home Campaign via what are known as Pop-under windows.

Bringing America Home: the Campaign

"This national, broad-based initiative is dedicated to the goal of ending homelessness. The Campaign is founded on the principles and action of public education, grassroots organizing and support for progressive policies and legislation. It is founded on the principles that people need affordable housing, livable incomes, health care, education, and protection of their civil rights."

Initially I was going to begin this homeless experiment using the National Coalition for the Homeless (NCH) Website for the next couple of weeks.

Then, as I was checking out the NCH Website, I noticed the link for the Bringing America Home Campaign and it was an easy decision to start off with that particular Website first.

In about two weeks or so, I most likely will change it to direct to the NCH Website. After a couple of weeks of hosting that site in this way, I will probably change it to feature local (Vermont) Websites focusing on homelessness as well of course, for roughly the same time period more or less.

This homeless experiment, in sharing visitors to this blog with other Websites that are focused on ending homelessness, will last until the New Year (January 1, 2004).

Pop-under Windows?

Pop-under windows are vastly different than those intrusive popup windows. With a Pop-under window, when the host site is visited, it is found in a second window underneath or alongside the window of the Website the host wants to share with its visitors.

While Internet surfing this morning I came across mention of the Pop-under window at Weblog Central within their Weblog Resources List. Actually their link led to the PopUnder Project found on another Webpage.

If you are interested in following suite, the script for this originally came by way of the following and can also be found at: Cut & Paste Pop-under window

Credit: JavaScript Kit

Description: Pop-under windows are becoming increasing popular as a less intrusive alternative to popup windows. Use this script to add a pop-under window to your page; simply input the page/address to pop under, and off you go!

*Make sure to note* that you will have to change the Web address for the site you want to host (i.e., having your blog or Website pop-under the other site).

In addition you may want to adjust the frequency. My setting is 1 (in this specific instance, the number equals: yes), making it only engage once during any given windows session. As using 0 (in this specific instance, the number equals: no), would enable it to pop-under or re-engage each time the host blog or Website is refreshed.

2003-11-06T20:49:00.000-05:00

Live Online with John Kerry
Friday, November 7th at 2 p.m.

Came across this particular item announced within a comment posted by Pez at the Official John Kerry for President Blog.

Excerpts:

Source: Washington Post Live Online
Election 2004
Conversation with the Candidates
Nov. 7: Sen. John F. Kerry

[...]

"Democratic candidate Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.) will be online Friday, Nov. 7th at 2 p.m. to take your questions on the campaign and his vision for the United States.

"Submit your questions and comments before or during the discussion.

"Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions."

Am posting the question I just submitted using the online form noted above in case it does not end up being one that gets used and answered:

Dear Senator Kerry:

If elected as the President of the United States of America: Within the context of broadly addressing it across the board (i.e., not merely among those of us who are labeled as being "chronically homeless"), what would you do to both creatively and meaningfully address homelessness and the growing need for real affordable housing among those most in need across our nation and, how would you do it?

Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier, Vermont

2003-11-06T20:09:00.000-05:00

Updated Post

Cool Tool

Just came across an interesting promotional tool online with which to create freshly rolled news feeds.

It can be customized easily enough by inserting your own RSS URL for the site you want to create a news feed from for, to use on your blog or website.

For those not yet aware of this very cool tool, go to Feedroll. Once there, under "Select RSS Source," insert the RSS URL for the site you want to create a feed for into the "Or enter your own RSS URL" form.

You can also do some "Custom Design" too. When ready, click "Update". Once the page refreshes, in the left hand column you will see the result.

If you like what you see, scroll down the page and in the lower right hand column under "JavaScript Include", grab the script and post it into your blog or Website template, where you want it to appear and, publish.

As I assume the Kerry campaign will not mind my doing so (if so, I am sure they will let me know) I have done this on my own blog using the official Kerry Blog RRS URL: http://blog.johnkerry.com/index.xml in order to create a news feed from their blog. It is in the left hand column, I doubt you could miss it.

Of course I also made sure to post a header for it, that makes it clear that it is a RSS news feed from the Official John Kerry for President Blog.

Now I have that tool to link to the Kerry blog from my own blog, I will remove it from my blogroll; as the news feed accomplishes what I wanted to do and, in my opinion, does this even better than having them in the blogroll did.

Note: Updated post just to note that I have decided to drop the RSS News Feed to the Official Kerry Blog I had on my blog in the left hand column since last week: this post last updated on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 at 6:00 AM [EST]

2003-11-05T17:21:00.000-05:00

Updated Post

Early Birthday Gifts to Self

For some time now I had known about three used "Weird Al" Yankovic music CD's in good condition, being offered for sale online at a reasonable price I could manage to afford at Retrojunkie's Online Thrift Store: Part of a small cyber-based business specializing in second-hand, salvaged, and surplus items.

If it worked out for me to get them this way, it meant that I would not have to risk rummaging around somewhere in the real world looking for them myself.

The person who runs this little business is actually someone whom I know, trust and personally recommend. They also do business on eBay here, specializing in old stuff, especially old books. Any serious book-worms or book collectors out there should indeed check out on a routine basis what Retrojunkie has offered on eBay.

Last month I informed Retrojunkie about my interest in buying all three "Weird Al" CD's at the stated prices for each item, if they were still available when I had the money at the beginning of this month.

The CD's are "Weird Al" Yankovic In 3D (February, 1984), "Weird Al" Yankovic - Alapalooza (October, 1993) and, "Weird Al" Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (March 1996).

Each of them were available and I was able to receive them today. While I do not have my own CD player, nor any intention of getting one anytime soon either, I can use either a computer or CD player available to me at certain places I frequent.

This was my birthday present, albeit an early one, to myself. Thank you Retrojunkie!

Note: Updated post with a minor edit for purposes of clarification only: last updated on Thursday, November 6, 2003 at 11:55 AM [EST]

Thursday, November 6, 2003

PS

This morning I was able to use the public access online computer available at the Vermont Center for Independent Living (VCIL) and have begun listening to some of my "Weird Al" CD's that way. Think I may be able to use them in the same fashion elsewhere too.

Whether I am working at a computer somewhere or doing something else or just hanging out someplace, it is often very helpful to me for a variety of reasons to have some music befitting my unique tastes playing in the background (with a headset on of course).

2003-11-05T15:36:00.000-05:00

Updated Post

Housekeeping Stuff

Been meaning to do some needed housekeeping on this blog for a while now, but it has lagged behind on my to do list.

Am trying to get some of that sort of stuff done when I can find the time, online access and energy.

Subscription Service

Have just reinstalled the Bloglet subscription feature, as it seems to be functioning once again. It had its problems earlier this year and was not functioning for some reason unknown to me, so I just took it down out of frustration.

If all works well this time around, anyone who had previously subscribed or who subscribes from here on out, will receive an e-mail for any particular day this blog is updated.

Homeless BlogRoll

Inspired by the recent creation of The Homeless Blogger Roll (top/right hand column) on The Homeless Guy blog, I just created a Homeless BlogRoll of my own in the left hand column under the heading of Norsehorse's Home Turf Homeless BlogRoll.

As noted at the bottom of it, my particular BlogRoll is powered by BlogRolling.

If you have not done so either recently or ever before, please make sure to visit each of the blogs within my BlogRoll.

*Note*: Wednesday evening I was considering changing my BlogRoll from being a "Homeless BlogRoll" to a general one. Thursday (November 6, 2003) I made that change so I could add some other blogs to it.

In addition, I am a shameless Kerry supporter and have been wanting to find a way to post a link on my blog to the official John Kerry for President blog. It finally came to mind just moments ago to do this by adding a link to the Kerry blog on my recently created blogroll.

*Another Note*: Have just (Wednesday, November 12, 2003) changed it back into being a "Homeless Blogroll" once again and have also narrowed what blogs are included in it from what had been originally used when I first created it last week.

Work in Progress

Will also be making other improvements, which may include new additions as I come across other useful tools. However you will probably have to keep a watch out for these, as I will not always bother with making a housekeeping notice like this every time I make a modification to the blog of this nature.

Thank you for reading and allowing me the opportunity of sharing Norsehorse's Home Turf with you.

Note: Note: Updated post with the inclusion of yet another paragraph (see *Another Note*) to call attention to a change concerning the Blogroll under the sub-heading of "Homeless Blogroll": this post last updated on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 at 6:13 AM [EST]

2003-11-04T22:45:00.000-05:00

Updated Post

"Homeless Americans
publish personal sites
to challenge
generally accepted ideas"

Three bloggers who live homeless in the USA were featured in an article, authored by Chantal Dussuel, published last week (Tuesday, October 28, 2003) in an online publication based in France.

The article, which I think is a very good one if I say so myself, primarily focused on Crystal Evans of Boston, Massachusetts and The Homeless Guy -- Kevin Barbieux of Nashville, Tennessee.

Deep within the article was a very brief mention about yours truly.

That is probably a good thing too, as much to my bemusement, the Vermont Homeless Journal was described as being a "collective blog of militants for the right to housing."

Militant Bloggers for Housing in Vermont?

That was news to me too?!

Not only has the Vermont Homeless Journal not been very active since it was initially formed as a team blog, but to my knowledge, none of us are armed to the teeth for that matter either.

Nor have we -- as a group of bloggers on the Vermont Homeless Journal anyway -- blogged anything of a nature regarding housing or homelessness that I would think could be referred to as being militant.

Though it is true we feel rather strongly about the need for housing concerning people living homeless and some of our blog posts say so too.

Yet this is not to complain about it however. It is just something I mention because it has had me scratching my head a lot this past week, along with laughing and smiling plenty as well.

Read French Anyone?

For those who can read French and have not already come across the article, go to Des SDF américains publient leur site perso pour bousculer les idées reçues.

Just so you know though, the Website is a subscribers online publication that only allows a certain amount of limited free reads of articles offered on their site.

It also does not seem to allow for attempts to translate the article page using free online translators either. Such attempts usually brings one to a page saying one must subscribe to go any further.

If you are like me and are not able to read the French language whatsoever, here are links to a two part translated version (graciously done by someone whose French is rusty, according to them) and is hosted on the blog of Crystal Evans:

Part One and Part Two

Note: Update post with certain additions, changes and edits: last updated on Wednesday, November 5, 2003 at 10:28 AM [EST]

2003-10-31T15:06:00.000-05:00

The Littlest Things

When I think long and hard about what I have lost the most with being homeless, it usually always comes back to the acknowledgement that what really has been lost are many of the illusions once held as being the truth they were said to be.

It is not that I lost these illusions when or because I became homeless or, that I became homeless when or because I lost them either however.

Maybe it happens over time, when something like the experience of homelessness alters our lives in such a way that shapes our perspectives on everything, including about ourselves, who we are and what our role as well as value is within society; that it becomes harder, if not impossible, to hold onto beliefs once held as being true -- even when we probably knew better earlier; yet some of the lessons of our youth told us not to trust what we ourselves knew best within our guts.

Some would say that what has been altered is our perspective and it is that which is the problem, not the other way around. But that is to deny the realities of life altering experiences.

It remains easier in our society not only to find fault, but to put blame on the individual, especially on people who are victimized and exploited in one fashion or another.

However what I believe results in our illusions being stripped away are the littlest things that finally get our attention when they cannot be ignored any longer.

Earlier last week I caught much more than the public transportation bus when catching a ride into town from where I was staying. The fact is, that while I was not in the best of health up until that moment, I certainly had not been sick, not even with a cold.

If my health was not under steady stress and assault, if only my diet was better than it was, if only ... ; then *maybe* I would have been more able to fight off the viral type cold being transported by one of the riders who had no other choice but to use public transportation. Maybe, maybe not.

The person with the cold told another rider all about it. They are employed in a part time job and have lost some of their hours and thus do not have as much income coming in. In addition they have no health insurance whatsoever.

Yet when they went to get health care benefits from the local office of the Vermont Department of Prevention, Assistance, Transition, and Health Access (PATH) -- formerly Social Welfare, they were denied because of having too much income.

So the fact is that a really nasty virus type of cold is being able to infect and bring prolonged illness to people who have little means of fighting it off, because certain people only have part time jobs to try to pay the rent with no health insurance and are told they earn too much money in order to have public health assistance.

These people stay sick, have to stay on the job or lose either vital hours or the job itself and also risk spreading this infection on to others. The only place they can then get their health care is through the most expensive route afforded: i.e., the hospital emergency room. Go figure.

Going on two weeks now, I have been on the losing end of a battle with this nasty *homeless* flu like cold. It is referred to as a *homeless* cold because it hits people who are living homeless really hard.

In addition, if one was not homeless before they caught it, they could end up becoming homeless if they cannot afford the health care needed to keep them in good health, at work and paying the rent, etc.

This particular cold grabs a stronghold in the chest, does not let one sleep much or well through the night, as it leaves the person coughing -- hacking constantly while one lays there. Sitting up does not help much either really though.

If the cold goes untreated, it can become a viral type of infection (or whatever), spreads and evolves into something much worse.

Add sleep deprivation (especially when this can already be a problem sometimes for other reasons), and way more stress, to the list of ailments. As if I or anyone else needs any of this, as times are bad enough for some of us.

None of this would have happened most likely if the person carrying the cold in the first place could have gotten the health care they needed to both fight off the cold when they first got it and before it became much worse and even turned into something else, but maybe could have helped prevent it in the first place.

Unless there is a real safety net in place for those most in need, people are just going to keep hitting bottom and piling on top of each other when they finally land.

Sometimes it is the littlest things that can make the difference.

If you do not believe it, try walking in someone else's shoes for a good long while and see if you can keep your own precious illusions.

2003-10-25T12:10:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

Pondering a Care Package Wish List

Not to start a new trend concerning what the use of this particular blog of mine is for, however just in case anyone may wonder what a certain homeless blogger has on their private wish list, whether it be just in general or for an upcoming 48th birthday on November 17th or even for Christmas: I post the following, with no expectations whatsoever and only because I do sometimes receive queries asking what I specifically have need of or otherwise would appreciate receiving within a care package.

Several of the items listed below are rather pricey and also definitely are not critical for survival either, as I have gotten along without many of them for a while anyway.

If by some miracle an item posted is received, then a mention of that fact will be posted on the blog in order to avoid duplication if and when possible.

However, if more than one of the above items should be received from different people, my question is should I just keep them on hand for when they will be needed later or, give them to someone else whom I know is in need of the same? Of course only the person doing the giving could actually best answer that question.

Wish List:

MACH3® Cartridge Refills
new ones of course

Men's Winter Gloves
*urgently needed*
Size: Large
Type: warm and sturdy
in good condition

Men's Winter Coat
Size: X-Large
in good condition

Men's Winter Socks
*urgently needed*
Size: 11-13 inches or bigger
Quantity: several pairs
new preferred

Men's Winter Footwear
Size: Tough one?
11 1/2 + inches
in good condition

Blogger Hoodie
Size: X-Large

Men's Blogger T-shirt
Size: X-Large

Heads Up Cap

Men's Wrist or Pocket Watch
used, in working condition

Care Packages
may be mailed to:

Mr. Morgan W. Brown
P O Box 411
Montpelier VT 05601-0411

My apologies, but I have no other available options (i.e., no street address) afforded to me with which to safely and surely receive packages shipped by means other than is utilized by U.S. Mail.

Unless otherwise stated by the person sending such packages, all items received will be gratefully appreciated and either personally used by myself or otherwise distributed by me to people in the area who are living homeless in one form or another and whom are in need of such items.

Note: Please do *not* send any monetary gifts in any form whatsoever however.

"What can I do to help?"

If you truly want to help out in a more meaningful fashion, please thoughtfully consider as well as creatively, yet carefully, act on the following.

While some people who live homeless do not have any reliable or steady source of income and must rely on any form of cash assistance they can manage to come by, others of us may have at least a limited income on which to live.

In my particular situation, the limited income I subsist upon does not always allow me to afford certain items, whether the items be something that is sorely needed or, is just something that would be well appreciated along with being very well used.

The fact is however, that it is much worse for someone who does not have even the limited income to depend upon. I should know, I have been there too.

Even better than sending someone like me - who you probably do not know and may never ever meet - a care package, would be for you and others whom you know who are likewise concerned to make up care packages and distribute them to people living homeless either within or nearby your own community, as The Homeless Guy -- Kevin Barbieux of Nashville, Tennessee suggests.

Truth be told, if you really want to know what I personally would rather have than sending me a care package either for my birthday or for Christmas, is for people to provide care packages to people living homeless in their own communities.

People need to know that others actually care. Even the smallest of acts or ways of caring for others, including receiving certain low-cost items they may be in need of yet otherwise could not manage to afford, can often help convey this message.

When I have been most in need in times past, such acts by someone going gracious extra miles and beyond in their unique and various ways helped me immensely in my being able to get through certain profoundly troubling moments and experiences.

These gentle souls, with their kind and generous acts of faith, have never been forgotten. To this day I remain most grateful to them as well as for them.

All this to say, that yes, giving to someone in need can indeed make a difference in a persons life and, sometimes, also have a sort of ripple effect too.

One last fact to state, is that my level need for being on the receiving end of such caring acts or care packages at the moment is not as great, nor as severe, as some who are living homeless usually experience it in all its many ways however.

Yet that said, it will not stop me from letting it be known what I could still use all the same.

None of this is intended to be confusing or a double message either, it is just based on what I have come to understand from where and how I have lived and observed so far.

Note: Updated post with corrections, edits, changes and additions for the purposes of clarification: last updated on Saturday, October 25, 2003 at 9:52 PM [EDT]

2003-10-24T13:05:00.000-04:00

Nothing Like Dreaming

Is a Film to Watch Out For

An independent film made in Vermont, Nothing Like Dreaming is certainly one to watch out for.

Written and directed by Nora Jacobson, the film is currently in post-production.

Nora is a filmmaker and is the founder of Off The Grid Productions based in Norwich, Vermont.

Nothing Like Dreaming "was screened as a work-in-progress at the Fire House Gallery in Burlington, Vermont Oct. 19th at 6:30 pm.

"Nora Jacobson was present to answer questions and receive feedback from the audience.

"Excerpts of Nothing Like Dreaming were screened as a work-in-progress at the 2003 Independent Feature Market in NYC in September."

About the film:

"Nothing Like Dreaming is about a teenage girl who befriends a strange, older man. Sonny Gale is a reclusive sculptor who lives in an abandoned factory where he forges steel and makes fire sing. Emma is a bright 17-year old who works in the cafeteria of the state capitol building where gay marriage laws are being debated along with gun control and drunk driving legislation. Her father Jess, whom she adores, is a liberal state senator.

"In the space of one night, Emma's life is torn upside down: Her best friend is killed in a car accident after a keg party in the woods. Repressing feelings of guilt, unable to express her grief, and angry at the world, Emma finds solace in Sonny's workshop. Like a shaman, he guides her through her journey of loss and grief. She becomes his apprentice, and together they build a spectacular fire organ that enchants Emma's teenage friends with its other wordly, mysterious sounds. Emma's father, jealous and fearful of Sonny and Emma's relationship, alerts the authorities about Sonny's obsession with fire.

"A confrontation with the police ensues, replete with barricaded kids and hysterical parents, throwing Sonny into intense emotional turmoil. Emma finds a way to connect with him, and brings him back from the edge of madness. Nothing Like Dreaming is about compassion, the freedom to be different, and the mystery of the human mind."

More later ...

2003-10-15T15:30:00.000-04:00

Norsehorse's Home Turf
Sporting a New Look

For newcomers to this blog, welcome. If you are a returning visitor, welcome back.

As anyone who has been a visitor to this blog previously can tell, this blog has just undergone a transformation and is now sporting a new look.

For prior visitor's to this particular blog: Yes, this is the same old Norsehorse's Home Turf you have come to know; when I do manage to get around to blogging something on it anyway.

As is obvious to anyone who has been reading along either since or sometime after I first began my personal blog nearly a year ago (i.e., Wednesday, November 20, 2002), I have been somewhat behind on my blogging for a while of course.

In addition, I have been meaning to redesign the look of this blog for some time now. Ended up deciding to go with the look I used with the Freedom in Mental Health Blog and later adopted for the Vermont Homeless Journal (VHJ) Essays Blog as well.

When I have time, energy and online access in order to do so, my intention is to change all the blogs and links pages I own and manage over to this identical design.

While it may be confusing to some to have the exact same look on each blog when it is entirely different blog, I am doing so because I had been told by someone at the Vermont Center for Independent Living (VCIL) that black text on a light yellow background - with the usual blue and purple links - was the most accessible for persons with visual disabilities whose vision gives them trouble with contrasts and other needs that require accommodation.

Though my blogs are not completely accessible with everything on the page yet for people who are blind, when I am able to learn what I need to, I will try to remedy these problems with my blogs.

Whether you have are a first time visitor or returning to find out what it newly posted here, it is hoped you shall return often.

Thank you for your interest and for taking time to read this blog.

2003-10-13T15:32:00.000-04:00

Thought Provoking Quote

"Most people are on the world, not in it. -
have no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything
about them - undiffused, separate, and rigidly alone
like marbles of polished stone, touching but separate."

-- John Muir

Just a Thought

While the above quote may seem to be mainly speaking about concerns of an environmental nature as it regards the relationship of humankind with the earth and everything on and within it: I view it as going right to the heart of what is the need of both individual as well as collective healing between each and every person inhabiting this planet and their relationship with every being -- human or otherwise, along as everything else on or within the earth, not to mention the very earth itself.

A lot of it has to do with accepting our true place and responsibility on the earth as well as within human society and, our role(s) within it.

It also has a lot to do with how we view ourselves, individually and collectively, as well as how we view other people, cultures and other beings and "things", along with what our priorities are based on of course.

2003-10-13T15:30:00.000-04:00

Interpersonal Conflict
and
Random Mutual-Acts of Transcendence

In the previous blog post of mine (i.e., "Lost Nation Theater's Final Performance of 'Othello'"; [Sunday, October 12, 2003]), writing about the arts, Washington County Mental Health Services (WCMHS) screeners and Montpelier's City Hall brought to mind something that I thought was worth sharing.

Several years ago I had a first encounter with one particular WCMHS mental health screener (who was off-duty at the time), that was not a pleasant experience at all.

Never having met before, we happened to bump into each other by pure coincidence concerning a mental health related arts exhibit being featured at Montpelier's City Hall during the annual mental health awareness week we were both involved with in one fashion or another.

They were there that day to arrange some pieces of art on display as well adding new ones. Cannot recall exactly, but either I was just passing through on some errand or, was there to see about my own art and works of poetry along with the artistic works of others on display.

From just a simple and innocent enough statement of mine concerning the exhibit, we rather quickly managed to get into an extremely heated debate with terse exchanges between us - (an understatement to be sure) about both mental health and art, but mostly concerning our own perspectives regarding mental health.

It seemed to me that they were making it very clear that they were the utmost expert concerning these matters. For my part, I made sure to make it just as clear my strong disagreement with them about that, as well as what it was we were discussing to the same degree they had been disagreeing with me.

Along with possibly thinking it was our own selves who had been the one scoring the most points over the other, we both may have thought at the time that it was we who was correct in what we were saying as well as how we were saying it and that it was the other person who was wrong.

Whatever the case was or what we may have believed about it, in retrospect, the fact is that both of us were equally inclined to be mistaken about the matters being argued however.

One thing for certain though, while the other person and myself may have been at odds on that particular day over our stubborn misunderstanding, it was clear that we are both individuals who feel deeply and passionately about those people and matters we care most about and are very heavily invested in as well as highly active with.

Over the years since we first met, we have slowly come to grow a certain level of respect for one another, along with showing each other a certain amount of tolerance for and acceptance of the other's views.

Even if we may not agree with the view the other person may be expressing at a particular moment, we have seemed to learn to be careful not to reject the person outright, simply because we find ourselves disagreeing with something they have said.

This story is told to illustrate something I have come to greatly appreciate about this person, as well as valuing what we have been able to learn from each other, now that we have had the opportunity to get to know each other a little better.

This has taken place despite our being two people who had held and to some degree still hold vastly different, and sometimes opposing, views concerning matters and experiences we each feel, think and believe so strongly about.

There was a time when we could not even speak with each other, because we did not; we only talked at each other, with neither of us listening to one another. That is no longer true.

Where once I would not be able to trust or feel comfortable around this particular person in any fashion, because they were a mental health screener and what that meant to me personally due to my own prior experiences and relevant fears in general, including the initial sour encounter with them: we have since had several lengthy conversations on the street -- usually based within a certain context being that I understand what position and responsibility they have as a screener -- during which I shared openly with them some of my experiences, feeling and thoughts I had previously learned from hard experience never to share with a screener or other mental health professional ever again.

That takes a certain level of trust and understanding that does not always come easy, but can come once people choose to mutually, as well as equally, put discord, conflict and distrust behind them and work together on whatever they are able to, without letting what they cannot manage to agree about come between them, indefinitely anyway.

This is what I refer to as being random mutual-acts of *transcendence* concerning what would otherwise result in continuing interpersonal conflicts of a mutual nature.

Definition (In third instance only, as found in online dictionary):

Transcendence

n 1: a state of being or existence above and beyond the limits of material experience [syn: transcendency] 2: the state of excelling or surpassing or going beyond usual limits [syn: transcendency, superiority]

2003-10-12T15:45:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

Lost Nation Theater's
Final Performance of 'Othello'

Last month, within the Arts section of the Friday, September 19, 2003 edition of the Barre - Montpelier Times Argus, I read Jim Lowe's -- the Times Argus Arts Editor -- account of Lost Nation Theater's performance of 'Othello.'

Jim Lowe's review is available online at: Shakespeare's 'Othello': Is it revenge, or honor?

Sidetracking

By the way, being Arts Editor for the Times Argus is only one of Jim's jobs. He is also one of several mental health "screeners" for Washington County Mental Health Services (WCMHS).

fyi: "The Emergency and Screening Program - consists of a team of specially trained staff who work out of the Berlin office and provide 24-hour emergency services. Emergency care includes diagnostic and psychotherapeutic services, such as evaluation of the client, crisis counseling, screening for hospitalization or other emergency care, referral, and follow-up.

"Screeners respond to telephone requests for help by counseling in the field or on the telephone. By State regulation, this team must provide initial screening for any person being considered for involuntary treatment at the Vermont State Hospital."

Back on Track

When I was at the Kellogg-Hubbard Library late yesterday (Saturday, October 11, 2003) afternoon, just before they were to close, I was talking to one of the librarians about Lost Nation Theater's (LNT) presentation of 'Othello.'

This particular librarian mentioned how they heard how good it was too. For my part, I said how for me anyway, I saw theater as being food for the soul. It sure is the sort of food I could really use right now, that is for certain.

During my time at the library I got online and checked out LNT's Website for additional information concerning the cost of tickets as well as about the show itself.

Then I made sure to e-mail LNT and inform them of my interest in attending, along with asking them if any opportunity existed for someone to attend even if they could not afford the entire full price.

The question I posed to them was if it would it be at all possible for me attend even if I could only manage to afford $15.00 for a ticket.

In a rather long e-mail I carefully explained that even though I really found it distasteful to have to inquire about it, as I was very interested in trying to catch 'Othello' for one of its last two showings while it is still in Montpelier this season, I must ask or risk not having an opportunity to see it, if any such chance existed.

Being a person who subsists on Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) and Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and who is also homeless (under many roofs, so to speak: i.e., "couch surfing" where I can or, short stays in different places when, where and for as long as my income will afford it, etc.), I cannot manage to afford $21.00 for a ticket and do not rate as a student or senior citizen either (though the $18.00 rate would even be tough to manage as well actually).

In addition, I informed them that I have never seen any Shakespeare on the stage (movies do not count really, do they) and have always wanted to.

The fact is that what I have read about LNT's presentation of 'Othello,' is that it very much worth the $21.00; especially since the play lasts nearly three (3) hours long and is said to be such high quality too.

If I had the money, I would be glad to pay that price for a ticket. If I was able to work once again as well as had enough income from such employment, I would not hestitate doing so. In fact, I would most likely be among the first in line for the very first show.

However if it had ended up not being possible for me to attend, though it would not have been pleasing to me, I would of course have understood.

A little while later I bumped into another person on the street who when they asked me how I doing and mentioned to them about my desire to attend the theater performance.

Earlier this afternoon (Sunday) I received an e-mail from someone who works at Lost Nation Theater indicating that a person, knowing about my wish to see 'Othello' tonight, has offered me a ticket, so I may be in attendance. Am definitely thrilled, excited and grateful to be attending.

Whoever the person may be who has so thoughtfully and generously offered up the ticket, I am deeply grateful to them that I am being afforded this opportunity and, as I do not know for certain who it is, will simply leave it at that; though I will be blogging about how much I appreciate the gracious *anonymous* donor for their kind gift.

The show this evening, its final showing in Montpelier for this season, is at 6:30 PM [ET]. In the e-mail it was also suggested that I arrive 20-30 minutes early to give myself time to check in at the Box Office to pick up my ticket and because it is open seating.

They also stated that "[w]e're so glad you'll be joining us tonight for your first live Shakespeare experience." Me too. Am really looking to attending the performance.

Either later this evening or tomorrow (Monday), in a separate blog post, I will be blogging about my experience of attending tonight's show.

More later ...

Note: Updated post with mostly minor corrections, changes, additions and edits for the sake of clarification: last update done on Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 4:15 PM [ET].

2003-10-10T15:25:00.000-04:00

Unfinished business

Friday, October 10, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Opinion section
Letters to the Editor
[fifth letter down, of six published]

--snip, snip, snip--

Unfinished business

Upon reading "Panel: Give Fletcher Allen a permit" (Wednesday, Oct. 8), I have to strongly concur with State Representative Anne Donahue's (R-Northfield) expressed reservations and concerns. Like Ms. Donahue, I too find myself deeply disappointed.

Can it be that after so long a journey, especially when it seemed we had come so far from where we once found ourselves as a patient population, we may not have come as far as we had thought after all?

Though it is true that the proposed relocation of the psychiatric unit has been changed after great pains to do so, it appears that not much else has truly evolved among the overall thinking, attitudes and culture within Fletcher Allen Health Care (FAHC) itself.

For example, where once we stood on the outside of the FAHC Renaissance Project, looking in from afar and simply wanting to be an equal part of it from the start; ironically, we will now find ourselves locked securely within it, looking out from a tiny fenced-in balcony, with only the vague promise that the hospital "would 'explore' ways to provide outdoor access for the ward."

Now consider just for a moment what the reality of this does to a person's mental and emotional health and well-being, which is what they are seeking treatment for in the first place.

Then multiply that lonely moment by the number of minutes, hours and days one may find themself within such a situation. Once the math is done, ask yourself what you would expect for yourself or your loved ones if and when you or they may have the need for inpatient psychiatric care.

It is certainly good to know that we actually are closer to achieving the delivery of high quality integrated mental health treatment on the FAHC main campus in Burlington, just as Vermonters statewide deserve and have come to expect be provided for their taxpayer, insurance and health care dollars. Yet it is disturbing that there is still plenty of unfinished business ahead.

The fact remains that there is much more to be done before persons seeking inpatient mental health treatment at FAHC can be on equal par, as these same individuals would certainly receive were they seeking needed cancer treatment on the same health care campus where psychiatric treatment will be delivered 20 and 30 years from now. There are those of us who desire that this be accomplished sooner, rather than later.

Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier

--snip, snip--

Submit a Letter to the Editor
Via the Times Argus Online Form

Or, by e-mail to:
letters@timesargus.com

2003-10-10T10:25:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

Noteworthy Blog:
FLEX Vermont 2003-04

This morning (Friday, October 10, 2003) I caught an interesting listing up on the Eatonweb Portal among the "New Additions."

This is the blog for, about and by Future Leaders Exchange Students from the state of Vermont in the year 2003-04: FLEX Vermont 2003-04.

It certainly is an excellent Web log! Make sure to check it out.

Funny how when I was checking for the new additions listings for the three different blogs I submitted there yesterday, I saw their blog indicating Vermont as the region in the U.S. it was broadcasting from, as well as having the state mentioned in the title of course.

What a small world it is getting to be these days. Speaking of that, check out the World as a Blog.

Am looking forward to reading more about their time and experiences while they are all here.

Their most recent blog post is about a hike they will be taking on October 18th in the Addison County area.

Hiking just happens to be one of the several reasons why I moved to Vermont in the first place back in 1988. The Green Mountain State is a great place to hike of course, especially this time of year.

Note: Updated post with minor changes, additions and edits for the sake of clarification and readability.

2003-09-28T20:33:00.000-04:00

Must Read!

The below item is the introductory of a must read essay authored by Dana Szegedy, one of five Sterling College students who spent a night out together one cold rainy evening in Montpelier, Vermont during April of this year.

They began their education that evening in several indepth discussions spanning a variety of matters, including homelessness, housing, mental health, disabilities and related subjects while at the Another Way Drop-In Center before embarking out onto the streets for the night.

An Eye Opening
24-Hour Homeless Experience
in Montpelier, Vermont

by Dana Szegedy

Question of Perception

Perception: something rarely thought of, but often used.

What is your perception of a man walking the streets at night, tired, depressed, ragged looking? What's your perception of a former mental health patient? Or a clean, wise, helpful man who happens to be homeless? Is there a difference between these people?

Before you say "he wanted to be homeless" or "we don't have a problem with homelessness here," read about my experience as well as some of what people who either live or have lived homeless have to say about these matters.

To read more, go to:

An Eye Opening
24-Hour Homeless Experience
in Montpelier, Vermont

The Vermont Homeless Journal (VHJ) Essays Blog is the blog page for any of the longer original articles, commentary, columns or essays concerning homelessness and related matters, which have been authored and blogged by individual writers and bloggers of the Vermont Homeless Journal (VHJ) team blog.

Note: All Rights, concerning written material posted on the VHJ blog(s), revert and belong solely to their individual author(s). If their e-mail address is not provided along with their writing, e-mail VHJ for further info or to be put in contact with an individual VHJ writer and blogger.

2003-09-25T17:21:00.000-04:00

Vermont State Hospital (VSH)
Interested Parties Meeting
Announcement

Posted With Permission

Dear Colleagues,

As you know, the Vermont State Hospital has been de-certified by the federal Center for Medicaid and Medicare Services. This means it cannot receive direct Medicaid or Medicare reimbursment for treatment provided at VSH - estimated to cost the State of Vermont approximately $700,000 per year.

This de-certification came after over a year of investigation, reports, compliance attempts, and -most recently- two suicides.

The Department of Developmental and Mental Health Services has called an "interested party" (meaning anyone) meeting for this coming Tuesday, September 30, from 10 AM to Noon, at Room 100 of Stanley Hall, Waterbury State Office complex to begin a discussion about where to go next with the State Hospital and Adult MH Services, more generally.

Below is their invitation, which we have been asked to circulate.

Peter
Peter Youngbaer, Executive Director
Vermont Coalition for Disability Rights
Montpelier, Vermont

Blog Editor's Note: The below message is a forward of an e-mail message from the Vermont Department of Developmental and Mental Health Services (VT DDMHS) with clear instructions provided for it to be circulated.

Dear Friends of Mental Health,

I know that you are all very concerned about what you have heard and read regarding issues at the Vermont State Hospital. It is very important for us to hear your questions, concerns and ideas and to share with you the steps we have taken so far to address the current issues.

We would like to invite you, and any interested parties, to a meeting on September 30, 2003 from 10AM-12PM at the Waterbury State Office Complex, Stanley Hall, Room 100, so we can exchange ideas on how to address these
issues. Please share this notice with anyone you feel would want to be included.

Susan Besio PhD, Commissioner
Susan Wehry MD, VSH Medical Director
Paul Blake, VSH CEO

In addition, for those who may not have already come across it -- either for the first time or the most recent updated version, is my Open Letter to the Commissioner of the Vermont DDMHS concerning preliminary recommendations re: the Vermont State Hospital (VSH) suicides, prevention and next steps.

2003-09-19T07:16:00.000-04:00

For links to relevant news articles available online from which to seek additional information concerning the matters raised within the below letter, go to:

Second Suicide in a Month,
Plus Deficiencies, Cost
Vermont State Hospital
a Loss in Federal Funding

Vermont State Hospital
Interested Parties Meeting
Announcement

Open Letter
to the
Commissioner of the Vermont DDMHS

Preliminary Recommendations
re: Vermont State Hospital (VSH) Suicides;
Prevention; Next Steps

Note: Revised for online publication as well as for the purposes of clarification: last revised and updated to correct minor errors as well as for clarification purposes only; on Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 1:27 AM [ET]

Friday, September 19, 2003

Susan Besio, Commissioner
Vermont Department of Developmental and Mental Health Services (VT DDMHS)
State of Vermont

Re: Preliminary Recommendations re: Vermont State Hospital (VSH) Suicides

Dear Susan,

Just in case you and others at the Vermont Department of Developmental and Mental Health Services (VT DDMHS) and Vermont State Hospital (VSH) are not already aware of them, I wanted to bring your attention to certain resources that may be worth reviewing as well as utilizing regarding suicide and other related concerns.

First however, even though I truly do have a number of constructive recommendations to offer, I also have several criticisms to share concerning the many matters at hand concerning VSH and mental health treatment in Vermont as well as the DDMHS's role in it. This letter is to present my main criticisms first, along with a couple of preliminary recommendations.

Then, hopefully soon, if the opportunity allows for it, I hope to be part of a process where others as well as myself -- who are the true experts concerning these matters -- can share recommendations with the VT DDMHS.

Criticisms:

All the rhetoric and misinformation -- which is being fed the press and the public over and over these days -- aside, one concern I have is that it appears there is much more concern and effort being focused over the funding of VSH, rather than with the very needs, rights and lives of those whom the VT DDMHS supposedly has responsibility for concerning their safety and well-being while they are in state custody.

Even though it could be hard to consider, it may be just one of the reasons why VSH, the DDMHS and the state are in this mess and why certain people in custody at VSH feel their only way out is to kill themselves.

The fact is that the VT DDMHS and the state are facing the combined results of certain extremely risky and very short sighted policy and funding decisions made over the last ten years or more. These poorly chosen decisions have been at the expense of those who are given no real and meaningful choices, options and alternatives other than being made utterly powerless; totally subservient to the will of the VT DDMHS, the Community Mental Health Center's, certain local generals hospitals and psychiatric units and the state that holds complete power over them.

The entire system is virtually bankrupt and is nearly in a complete shambles. Yet time and time again statements to the contrary are told and we, who are in the best position to know better, are forced to watch in agony as further harm is done in the name of progress.

Each failure by the Vermont mental health system has been and continues to be used to justify even broader and wider use of force and coercion, with the medical-model given greater power and priority over the lives of people whom are stripped of their humanity and rights.

This may sound extremely harsh, but even harsher for my peers and I is the fact that the press and the public are sold a bill of goods about the continued need of VSH, what great care is supposedly provided there and how people are there for their own good as well as their safety.

Then when someone commits suicide at VSH, we hear that there was probably nothing that could have been done to prevent it anyway. Yet, the justification for VSH, other locked units in the community, 72 *plus* hour holds and other forced and coerced treatment is always voiced as it is indeed needed for just this sort of reason: i.e., preventative detention.

Adding insult to injury is having to repeatedly hear how the problem is that my peers and I have too many rights, that this the real problem and the state has all these laws that allow us to refuse treatment. Say what?! If only that actually had more than mere half truths -- if that -- to it, maybe it would not hurt so much.

Neither does using the mantra that those in the state's custody are far too ill to understand they have a mental illness hold water as well. What is ironic about it, is how often it has been used over and over, especially when nothing else seems to be working; yet it is never really questioned much by anyone either.

It and other such sound bites may appear to be great to feed the press and some in the public -- which many seem to swallow it hook, line and sinker; but under more careful reasoning and closer examination, it never-the-less does not mean they hold true. They just prove to be merely convenient rationalizations, used when there exists no other good reason for doing something that no one -- especially the state -- should be doing to any person in the first place.

These and other statements by the VT DDMHS or others are not productive and are not helping the situation at all. It is time for everyone to stop acting like the state is doing something and actually begin doing so.

If in truth the state cannot predict and prevent behavior as well as not being able to actually provide treatment options of the type that are not one size fits all and are neither ones people actually want, need and would truly work, then it has lost the justifications it has wrongfully been using all along for continuing to hold people against their will in preventative detention.

Rights, Individuality, Dignity and Humanity:

Rights happen to exist -- at least in part -- to protect a persons individuality, dignity and humanity; something we all cherish and place a high value on for ourselves and, this is really important to note and remember, something without which we have much reason to come to the belief that we have nothing left to lose, hope and live for.

Yet when a person reaches these ends, this and their experiences, feelings, thoughts, words and behavior is pathologized and referred to unquestionably as being mental illness; when it should be recognized as something else entirely.

Yet, while I have my usual strong feelings about such matters and have expressed the above opinions over things that cause me great concern and, which give rise to a certain level of anger and frustration that I have with the DDMHS and the state; the only agenda and reason for my writing is to share the following with you and others. In order to do so however, it was crucial to put forward certain points of potential conflict that are in need of being addressed in a serious and sincere manner.

Preliminary Recommendations:

It is my recommendation that an emergency meeting of all stakeholders be called and held as soon as is possible; with the sole focus being what steps VSH should take both now and in the future concerning preventing suicides at VSH as well as related and general matters as it concerns mental health service delivery within the state.

In addition, I also recommend that a meeting between members (and not simply perceived leaders, representatives or employed advocates) of Vermont's mental health consumer/psychiatric survivor/ex-patient (C/S/X) community and the VT DDMHS be organized and held on the same day, yet be held prior to the above mentioned meeting. Before the stakeholders meeting though, it would also be good if those of us attending the earlier meeting could all have lunch together, as once had been traditional many years ago.

If the above suggested or other type of meetings are held concerning these matters, please consider this my request to attend any such meetings. As such I also request to be informed in a timely manner so I may make arrangements to attend.

It is also my recommendation that you and others at the DDMHS and VSH visit the following online information, articles, resources and materials (*see below*), forward them on to others as well as print out the documents, distribute them and use them within whatever process may be set up to deal with the urgent circumstances concerning those being held in custody at VSH.

Sincerely,

Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier Vermont USA
Norsehorse's Home Turf Alternative Mental Health Links

cc: Paul Blake, VT DDMHS, DMH, VSH;

bcc: interested others

fyi:

if you are thinking about suicide ... read this first

It’s time for a new paradigm
by Sylvia Caras, PhD

A New Vision of Public Mental Health:
A Model Law to Provide a Right to Mental Health Services and Supports
Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law

People can recover from mental illness
by Daniel Fisher, M.D., Ph.D. and Laurie Ahern

Healing and recovery are real
By Daniel Fisher, M.D., Ph.D.:

Believing you can recover is vital to recovery from mental illness
by Daniel Fisher, M.D., Ph.D.

A New Vision of Recovery: People can fully recover from mental illness; it is not a life-long process
By Daniel Fisher, M.D., Ph.D.

Hearing voices that are distressing: Self-help resources and strategies
by Patricia Deegan, Ph.D.

Hearing voices that are distressing: Self-help resources and strategies (Part two)
by Patricia Deegan, Ph.D.

From Privileges to Rights:
People Labeled with Psychiatric Disabilities Speak for Themselves
National Council on Disability (NCD) Report
January 20, 2000

Anna's story: The effects of sexual abuse, the system's failure to respond and the emergence of a new, trauma-based paradigm
by Ann Jennings

Vermont State Hospital
Interested Parties Meeting
Announcement

Updated Post: Added the above link to the top of this particular blog post as well as here: On Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 5:30 PM [ET].

For links to relevant news articles available online from which to seek additional information concerning the matters raised within the above letter, go to:

Second Suicide in a Month,
Plus Deficiencies, Cost
Vermont State Hospital
a Loss in Federal Funding

2003-08-24T18:36:00.000-04:00

Two New Blogs

Of the several other things that have been keeping me busy and precoccupied at times since I last blogged on this blog over a month ago, are two new blogs.

They are MindFreedom Fast Blog and Lopers Dog Days Blog.

MindFreedom Fast Blog is solely dedicated to the MindFreedom - Support Coalition International (SCI) sponsored Fast for Freedom in Mental Health.

This Blog was created to help in efforts toward journalizing, as well as assisting in publicizing, the MindFreedom Hunger Strike for Human Rights in the Mental Health System on as much of an ongoing and regular basis as time, energy, online access and information allows.

Lopers Dog Days Blog is the personal blog of Loper the dog, four legged furry best friend to her adopted two legged fur-less human. Her human, a college professor, lives with Loper in Maine. This blog of Loper's is all about whatever comes to mind, as well as to life, moment to moment.

The history of how this particular blog came about as well as what it is all about can be found by reading the various blog posts, especially those in the archives.

One of my favorites of Loper's blog posts, which I was very much pleased to post for her of course, was 'A Dogs Nose for Zen.'

2003-08-24T18:07:00.000-04:00

Yet Another
Long Rider Gene Glasscock
Update

Horseman in Hartford is an excellent photo from the Hartford Courant (Friday, August 22, 2003), Long Rider Gene Glasscock being escorted through traffic in downtown Hartford, Connecticut on Thursday (August 21st).

The Photo Caption reads:

"GENE GLASSCOCK, center, is escorted through Hartford Thursday by David Bryant, left, of the Governor’s Horse Guard and city police Officer Fred Torres. Glasscock, a member of the Long Riders’ Guild, is riding on horseback to each of the 48 state capitals in the continental United States to raise money for underprivileged children in Paraguay. He began his journey 10 months ago in Denver, and Hartford is the 17th state capital he has visited so far. He averages 15 miles a day. The Long Riders’ Guild is an international association of equestrian explorers.
(CLOE POISSON)
Copyright 2003, Hartford Courant"

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, certain members of the Long Riders' Guild (LRG) and friends of the LRG have been working hard and still are actually trying to arrange a meeting between Connecticut's Governor Rowland and Gene.

Once Gene leaves Connecticut, he is headed to New Jersy of course and other state capitals between there and Washington, D.C.

In addition, late last week I was contacted by founding members of the Long Riders' Guild with a request for my assistance and asking me to be part of a small volunteer team helping to arrange a meeting and photo opportunity between President George W. Bush and Gene, if at all possible, for when Gene is in the D.C. area.

It is Gene's expressed and strong desire to meet and have a photo opportunity with President Bush at the White House, have his horses -- Frank and George -- on the White House lawn and the President in the saddle on top of George.

Since I accepted the invitation to be a part of this special project in support of Gene's mounted ride as he heads toward Washington, D.C. and, hopefully to the White House, this project is at the very top of the major priorities that I am actively working on right now. This work is in progress and will take a certain amount of time and extreme effort of course.

By the way, I have been recently informed that on Saturday, October 11th, Gene will be turning 69-years-old.

If we can possibly achieve it, being able to pull everything together to make it possible for Gene to meet and have a photo opportunity with President Bush at the White House, have Gene's horses on the White House lawn and the President in the saddle on top of George, will definitely be a terrific birthday present for the long rider.

2003-07-16T16:21:00.000-04:00

Long Rider Gene Glasscock Update

Recently, Long Rider Gene Glasscock was in Augusta, Maine (Monday, July 14, 2003) and also the news (Tuesday, July 15, 2003) in an article entitled "Long Rider: 4 years, 20,000 miles, 48 capitals — all on horseback."

2003-07-06T21:27:00.000-04:00

If You Should Come Across
Gene, Frank and George
On the Road ...

If you should come across Gene Glasscock with his horses, Frank and George, on the road anywhere on their lengthy journey together, if you can, then make sure to meet and speak with Gene; and, if it is at all possible for you to kindly render such aid, please either offer to help him out or offer to help connect him with someone else who can if and when he is passing through your local area or region.

As a suggestion only, it is probably best to simply ask Gene what it is he may be in need of, informing him of course that if it is possible for you to assist in helping to meet the need, you will do what you can.

Spread the Word!

In addition, please make sure to also spread the word by word of mouth to others either in-person (face to face), by phone, fax, e-mail, etc., about what Gene is doing and how he will need assistance while he is on the long road ahead.

Gene is really good people! For example, when I met and spoke with him, even though he was well worn out and hot and our talk was brief, we talked about
homelessness and he was very interested in learning more.

To anyone who is able to help this Long Rider and his horses or, anyone who has already done so:

Thank you in advance and, (if you do believe,) may God Richly Bless You (in a manner that is keeping with your beliefs).

-- Morgan

2003-07-06T15:15:00.000-04:00

68 Year-old Long Rider Gene Glasscock
Travels Vermont on Horseback
During Mainland-U.S.A. State Capital Cities Ride

Long Rider Gene Glasscock
on the Road with Frank and George
(photo via here)

Well Traveled

Making his way by horseback, Gene Glasscock recently *traveled* (see the botton of this particular blog post for reference) through the State of Vermont as part of a journey that will take the 68 year-old man and his two horses, Frank & George, to each of the 48 mainland-U.S.A. state capital cities.

Gene passed through the City of Bennington on Tuesday, June 17, 2003 making his way toward Montpelier -- the state capital, which was reported on by the Bennington Banner in their coverage of the event: Cowboy will ride to all U.S. capitols.

As reported later in the Rutland Herald and the Barre-Montpelier Times Argus newspapers in an article entitled Long rider, from there he rode up through and stayed in the communities of Pittsfield, Randolph and Riverton (part of the town of Berlin) -- just outside of Montpelier.

The Gavin's

Gene Glasscock with Frank and George
riding to the Gavin residence, where they
stayed prior to heading into Montpelier,
the State Capital, the next day
(photo via here)

That same article (Long rider) noted that on Thursday, June 26, 2003, Gene spent the night hosted by Jim and Holly Gavin on their Craggy Lea Farm in Berlin.

One of two pictures, available on Gene Glasscock's Website, which were taken by Holly Gavin of Gene, Frank and George is available here.

Jim is a Sargent on the Montpelier Police Department and is among the most respected and trusted officiers on the force. I knew previously from talking with Jim that his wife, Holly, owned and trained Morabs.

Only the other day this past week, while driving from Northfield (where I am currently house/pet sitting this week for a friend) toward Montpelier, I came across the farm of Jim and Holly, then I recognized Jim and stopped to say hello.

Jim took a break from putting up hay and getting another load down the way to take time to introduce me to and show me most of the horses they have there. They not only have Morabs as already mentioned, but a Morgan Stallion of course as well as a beautiful, small, Arabian (a mare, I think but cannot remember). They also have a huge three year-old Friesian stallion too.

Just recently I learned from Jim that Holly is also a farrier. It was Holly that shoed Gene's horse after it threw a shoe.

Jim made arrangements with others he knew to ensure that Gene had a place to go next, both for Friday and Saturday, as well as much safer routes there.

Montpelier

Gene Glasscock with Frank and George
on the lawn of the State House in Montpelier
(photo via here)

On the morning of Friday, June 27, 2003, Gene could be found on horseback on the lawn of the Vermont State House.

While I had other affairs to attend to earlier in the day that prevented me from trying to catch up with Gene when he was at the State House, I did manage to get to meet him briefly at the farm he was staying while in Montpelier.

Though it concerned me whether he or his hosts would mind my paying him a visit, being encouraged to make the attempt by someone else who had met him and knew where he was staying, I was actually surprised that Gene did not appear to mind allowing me to visit with him.

Even though he did not say so or complain, it had been extremely obvious to this observer that Gene was deeply exhausted from his trip, though most likely from the heat and humidity experienced from the last few days of that particular week or so (the hot and humid weather finally began to break late that Friday and Saturday).

Heading Onward

After Gene passed through and stayed in the communities of Marshfield and St. Johnsbury, as he was heading toward the states of New Hampshire and Maine next, the Caledonian Record reported about it with the following published article (Tuesday July 1, 2003): "Texas Long Rider Travels Through Town."

Be sure to check out Gene Glasscock's Mounted View of the United States (includes both diary and photographs; at the time of this posting, it has four pages -- see bottom of each page for selections and options) for plenty of great photo's and dairy entries.

In addition, also recommended is Gene's Guest Book for this 20,000-mile (plus) three year long journey. The guest book (with two pages so far) includes entries submitted by people who either have hosted or seen Gene or are otherwise interested in his adventure(s) while on the road.

Read a supplemental post of mine here.

The following is excerpted from the very bottom of an article, entitled "Rider raises scholarship money," published in the The Sentinel of Carlisle, Pennsylvania:

FYI

Donations may be made to Gene Glasscock's scholarship fund for Paraguayan students by writing to: Philip Scholarship Fund, Pensacola Christian College, 250 Brent Lane, P.O. Box 18000, Pensacola, FL 32523-9160.

A former teacher in Paraguay, Glasscock wants to provide a chance for working class youths from the South American country to study in the United States.

"Most foreign students in America are from the wealthy class," he says. "They don't have a great interest in changing things at home, but working class students will take their education home and work for social change."

*Reference*: Traveled or Travelled

--snip, snip, snip--

traveled

\Trav"eled\, a. Having made journeys; having gained knowledge or experience by traveling; hence, knowing; experienced. [Written also travelled.]

--snip, snip, snip--

Godspeed and happy trails Gene!

*Note*: Posted photo's drawn from Gene Glasscock's Website, as noted and credited below each photo: last updated on Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 9:29 PM [EDT].

2003-06-30T14:08:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

Playing Ball in Montpelier

Last Wednesday (June 25, 2003), being that the team is playing ball in Montpelier, I took in a home game -- my first -- of the Vermont Mountaineers.

The Mountaineers are the newest team of the ten year old New England Collegiate Baseball League (NECBL).

It was a good and enjoyable game. The Mountaineers won over the Concord Quarry Dogs. For additional information and coverage on the game, go to the Barre-Montpelier Times Argus sporting news article "Vermont Mountaineers win third straight."

Have already purchased a general admission ticket for when I get the urge as well as have the time and energy to attend another game.

In addition, I intend to purchase some advance adult tickets for the July 21, 2003 Robin Roberts tribute game being held that day.

In fact Governor Jim Douglas has proclaimed it Robin Roberts Day in Vermont. It should not only be awesome, but well attended. So I plan to go really early to that game in order to hopefully get a good seat in the stands.

An excerpt cut and pasted from a very recent e-mail newsletter received from the Vermont Mountaineers: "This week, home games are slated for Tuesday at 6:30 against North Adams and Wednesday at 3 pm against the Newport Gulls. Skip will also be in the Montpelier Parade on Thursday. Go Mountaineers!"

Am unsure about whether it is possible to attend the Tuesday (July 1, 2003) game, if I can then I will. Either way though, I am definitely planning on attending the Wednesday (July 2, 2003) game.

More later ...

Note: Updated post with minor additions, edits and changes; on Tuesday, July 1, 2003 at 2:42 P.M. [ET].

2003-06-20T09:43:00.000-04:00

Picnic

Managed to get some sleep last night (Thursday, June 19, 2003), though I got up early and am still feeling somewhat tired as I did an all-nighter Wednesday (June 18, 2003) evening doing some online work.

The weather is excellent, nice and sunny out this morning (Friday, June 20, 2003) in the Montpelier area. Great day for the Another Way Drop-In Center being held just about three miles outside of town up Elm Street/Route 12 at the Wrightsville Beach and Picnic Area between 11:00 AM and 4:00 PM [ET], which I will be attending shortly.

Still have not managed to write the article concerning blogging to meet my deadline -- which is today. However I do intend to use, and will try to submit - before the end of the day - some of my related writing within certain blog posts of mine on a new blog, the Unofficial Not Dead Yet Blog, I created Wednesday evening and Thursday morning.

More later ...

2003-06-17T16:36:00.000-04:00

Keeping Busy

Besides trying to rest up for the better part of the last weekend and a half since getting back from the D.C. trip, I have been also trying to slowly catch up with various e-mail and other online activities.

Speaking briefly concerning the D.C. trip, we arrived back safely in Montpelier early in the morning of Monday, June 9th. It was a good, though long, return trip using the more Inland route and with my driving the entire way once again.

Have lots to do as well as try to catch up on both this week and in the coming weeks. Various people have been contacting me for interviews of one sort or another, mostly research or college course work type of stuff related to either my activism or homelessness or mental health matters in general.

In addition, I have a recently extended deadline to meet this Friday (June 20, 2003) for the submission of a follow-up article to a three part series I previously wrote about the Internet for The Independent: A Vermont publication for and about seniors and people with disabilities. This article will be focused on blogs and blogging.

More later ...

2003-06-15T19:53:00.000-04:00

The Homeless Guy Is Back
Blogging Once Again

After taking about a month or more off, and his blog virtually disappearing, The Homeless Guy is back blogging once again.

It is really good to have Kevin Barbieux blogging once more. When it has been up and active, I visit The Homeless Guy blog often and have always enjoyed reading his blog posts.

In fact I was seriously bummed out when The Homeless Guy blog seemed to go down for a month or so. It has been Kevin's blog and his regular blogging that actually inspired me to begin blogging in the first place.

2003-06-06T14:40:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

Safe, Sound & Online in D.C.

For reasons having nothing whatsoever to do with the route taken or the person whom I am helping to drive down and back either, the trip down to Washington, D.C. was a bit long and strange.

Prior to our continuing on with the final leg to D.C., we stopped to eat a fine modestly priced supper buffet at a pleasant family restraurant in Hagerstown, Maryland. The food was really good, so was the Clam Chowder.

Once we managed to get to D.C., we got a little (major understatement) off course as well as lost and, it took even more time to find the hotel we were supposed to stay at. Once we arrived there, more time was spent trying to get the rooms that were reserved for us.

For whatever their true reasons were, they would not allow us to have the rooms as had been arranged for us even though they acknowledged we had reservations, etc.

Literally at the eleventh hour last evening, we went over to the hotel that the NCIL conference, we are down here for, is being held. When I walked into the grand and busy lobby, I quickly spotted Deborah Lisi-Baker who had just arrived shortly before as well.

Deborah saved the day in her usual low-key and gracious manner, personaly arranging for us to have rooms at the conference hotel.

Being a person who always goes the extra mile for people, Deborah kept helping by providing us with various means of support and assistance. This made all the difference between things finally working out or it continuing to be a nightmare for us.

Anyway, the room I am in is great. Believe it or not, the bed could sleep at least four people, it is that big; e.g., four pillows actually are laying across the head of the bed. It is a very comfortable bed to sleep in too.

There are two comfortable living type room chairs in an area that is set up like a living room with in is what a good sized rom, actually a small suite. The bathroom is large and the shower(/bathtub) is terrific.

As I needed to raise my feet in order to rest my legs and back while sitting and also because my back and legs will ache less than they often do, shortly after calling housekeeping, they brought me a nice, big, foot stool that goes with the decour of the chairs -- at no extra cost.

For a rather small amount of money out of my own pocket, I have 24 hours of broadband online service via the TV, so right from the privacy of my own room, I can check my e-mail, blog and surf the Web as I may have need to do while here.

There is even a little unstocked fridge in the room so I can buy stuff at the store and keep it in if need be.

In addition, there is a nice desk and very comfortable desk chair.

As I did not get any sleep Wednesday night, as well as having driven the entire way down and having to be ready for the return trip, I am taking most if not all of today as a day of rest for myself.

Will try to blog more later when or if I have the time or energy and before my 24 hours of Internet service is up and as I am also due to check out of here by then too.

Changes, additions, edits and corrections to this particular blog post are likely later as well.

Note: Numeruous changes, additions, edits and corrections made for purposes of clarification.

2003-06-05T02:40:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

Hitting the road,
yet not travelling
so far afield

Very shortly I will be travelling to Washington, D.C., as I am helping someone with the driving so they may get to the latter part of a conference being held there this week (June 4-7).

Via the more "Inland" -- as well as somewhat zig-zagging -- Interstate highway route we are planning to take down and back (estimated 639.7 miles each way), in order to avoid most of the major cities along with their huge metro areas and traffic on the direct "Eastern" Interstate highway route (estimated 556.1 miles each way); D.C., being a roughly 1280 or so miles Inland round trip, certainly is not so far afield as is Montana .

Since it did not work out for me to help out with the driving concerning a person traveling out to Montana, this opened up other welcome opportunities, some of which I have been busy with of late and others to come. Will try to remember to blog about some of those other opportunities, at least in a general fashion, in future blog posts.

Was also informed recently that I still have my housing voucher and have continued my apartment search accordingly. When I thought I was headed off to Montana at least for a short time, I thought it meant I would have to give up my voucher as I have yet to find a place to use it to rent anything with, etc. It is good to still have it.

My hope is to find something soon of my own to finally hang my hat.

By the way: The "Inland" route down to D.C. and back is only an additional 83 miles above what the "Eastern" major cities route is and, most likely just an hour and a half (or a little) more; yet probably with way less stop and go traffic, etc. So we may not really be losing much concerning time after all and, at least we will be moving -- through some good country too.

More later, most likely next week or, once I am rested up from the trip anyway ...

Note: Updated post: Mainly minor edits, corections, adittions and changes for purposes of clarification.

2003-05-21T10:37:00.000-04:00

Long Pauses

Due to reasons mostly concerning poor health and very low energy levels, it has been a while since I've been able to get around to doing much in the way of blogging or much else online.

Have intentionally taken several long pauses away from the usual online, and other off-line daily activities as well, as my level of functioning has been really minimal for a time lately.

Am just beginning to feel a little better again.

Almost forgot to mention it, but for those who may have read within an earlier post last month (April) concerning my intentions of possibly heading to Montana come the first week of June, due to reasons beyond my ability to control, I will not be going after all.

More later ...

2003-04-29T15:11:00.000-04:00

Some Buses Are Rolling
Certain Routes Once Again
In Central Vermont

Exactly three weeks after riders living in the Central Vermont region, who depend on public transit provided transportation services to get around, were left stranded by Wheels Transportation, new buses began rolling on certain, but not all, fixed routes.

For additional information concerning these matters, check out the following online:

Green Mountain Transit Agency:
New public transportation agency
restoring public transportation service

Tuesday, April 29, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
New bus firm working out the kinks

Tuesday, April 29, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
Volunteer drivers go without pay

Saturday, April 26, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
It’s official: Buses to run again Monday

Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
Wheels debts surpass $2 million

Note: This particular blog post will be updated as additional information and newpaper articles become available.

2003-04-29T09:42:00.000-04:00

Free Cone Day

There are several good things about living in Vermont. Especially come springtime, no matter how late the long awaited season may finally arrive or how brief it actually ends up being.

Among these things is free cone day [click here], offered at Ben and Jerry Ice Cream scoop shops.

Depending on where you live of course, it could just be worth the ride.

Lest it was thought you were completely out of luck if you were not in or near Vermont however, these scoop shops are not only found within the borders of the Green Mountain State.

The fact is that Ben and Jerry scoop shops can be found all around the United States and Canada as well as elsewhere.

If you do not yet know whether one of these scoop shops is in your region, today (Tuesday, April 29, 2003) is the day, so click onto the free cone day link above and check out their "Find a local scoop shop" page to locate a participating scoop shop near you.

At the time of this posting, the weather is awesome around here. Making it an excellent day for an ice cream, especially of such good quality and, even better, that it is free.

2003-04-22T21:58:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

hearing voices

certain people hear voices sometimes:
not just thoughts pounding away inside
their own mind either; but as if the words,
mutterings or noises being uttered were
from something or someone around them;
yet never heard by anyone else within
earshot, other than upon the ears whom
these sounds have either chosen or fallen

some are often as rude, negative, angry, mean,
insulting, scary, distressing and given to shouting
or murmuring as those experienced from various
people during numerous situations encountered
throughout one’s lifetime; others can be calm,
positive, quieter, soothing, nurturing,
supportive, inspiring, gentle and clear spoken

harm, wounds, maiming, ill health and tormenting
nightmares become wrought by the former; faith,
hope, healing, well being and pleasant dreams
fostered as a result of the latter

when enough time, effort, consideration
as well as thoughtfulness is taken to reflect
upon hard questions concerning what any soul
would really prefer; if ever they truly had
such choices for themselves what befell their
own cherished ears; before the next word left
one’s tongue, it may be more carefully chosen or,
even better, never said or thought of again

by Morgan W. Brown
April 22, 2003
Montpelier, Vermont, USA

Updated post on
Wednesday, April 23, 2003:
added the following author's note:

Author's Note:

The above poem specifically concerns the matter of hearing voices (i.e., the voices or sounds being heard) and is not merely focused on those who are hearing voices or the behavior of voice hearers.

The poem does reference the behavior of others whom voice hearers often come into contact with however.

The author, that is me, is a hearer of voices himself.

2003-04-20T14:20:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

April Showers

This month has so far brought some very pleasant surprises and welcome opportunities as well as a few unpleasant and unwelcome ones too of course.

Poetic Justice

The first and second days of April brought e-mails from a friend that resulted in my obtaining copies of older stock of my poetry once again. This was very unexpected, yet highly satisfying.

Sterling Experiences

Then, that same second day (Wednesday, April 2, 2003), after eating a good lunch and just before nearly walking out the door of the Full Ladle Kitchen, a soup kitchen held at Christ Episcopal Church in Montpelier, I was introduced to five Sterling College students who had been volunteering there as part of their senior year community service learning project requirements.

During the time we had to talk together, each of these five college students expressed a strong willingness to learn more concerning homelessness and about people living homeless in Vermont as well as a desire to do something meaningful to bring attention to homelessness in general. Sterling College is located in Craftsbury Common, Vermont.

Honorary Homeless First Timers

They mentioned wanting to become homeless for a twenty-four period so they could get a small look for themselves of what it may be like for someone who is actually living homeless.

Of course, each of them well understood that their experience would not be the same as it is for someone with no safe, warm and dry place of their own to stay and sleep as these students have themselves.

For my part, I was more than happy that someone had such an interest and welcomed working with them by offering information, guidance and assistance as I may be able to provide.

Vermont Homeless Journal

In this regard, as these Sterling College students also expressed an interest in blogging concerning these matters as well, I created the Vermont Homeless Journal multi-blog: i.e. a team blog, blogged by different people.

Invitations have been sent to each of these five individuals to become the very first team members of this particular blog.

The Vermont Homeless Journal (VHJ) is the Web log (or blog) of a group of individuals residing, schooling or working in the Green Mountain state who are focused on ending involuntary homelessness and securing the affordable housing in the state needed to help do so.

A Night Out

One Friday afternoon (April 11, 2003), a little more than a week after our first having met, found each of the students begin their 24-hour experience of homelessness first-hand.

They came by the Another Way Drop-In Center for the free weekly Friday evening community dinner. Much time was spent in deep conversations between them and several people attending the Another Way meal.

Each of them wearily departed the drop-in center later for their night out on the streets of Montpelier.

Saturday morning, shortly after Another Way opened up, they came back, very tired and in need of coffee, warmth, additional human contact and telling about the experiences they had during their night out.

Two of them, Marie Fisk and Alyssa Remy-Powers, have begun to briefly blog on the Vermont Homeless Journal about their experience(s).

Basic Outdoor Survival Skills Training

Before they left the drop-in center that Saturday, the Sterling students asked if any of us would be interested in learning some basic outdoor survival skills.

As I am severely lacking in many of these life skills, this was something I had been hoping for, but had not mentioned. So I told them it was certainly welcomed by myself and I thought there would be others also interested it doing it as well.

One of these same seniors came by again during this past Friday (April 18, 2003) night's dinner at Another Way and brought another student who had not been by before and is not a senior either.

They are interested in putting together a day, plus a night out, where some of us can learn these skills. We intend to communicate further concerning this and plan it out. As their college semester ends soon, the intention is to hold it in about two weeks or so.

The timing is really perfect too. For more on that read the segment "Going on the Road" available later on within this specific blog post.

The Liz Murray Story

Earlier this month I twice watched a movie made for television really worth watching, when it initially aired in a back to back showing.

That movie, Homeless to Harvard: The Liz Murray Story, airs on Lifetime cable television again tonight (Sunday, April 20, 2003) at 7:00 P.M. [et/pt] as well as on Wednesday, April 30th at 9:00 P.M. [et/pt].

It is one of the best made for TV movies I have seen in quite a while. Even better that the docu-drama tells part of a young person's story from a perspective and in such a way as usually never gets told, especially through such mediums as TV movies.

Stranded in Central Vermont

The first Monday of this month (April 7, 2003), I and others in the Central Vermont region were left stranded by Wheels Transportation with no warning and little or no options for getting from place to place.

Word is that hopefully in three or four weeks, if nothing comes up to bog the plan down, something may be in place for the short-term and possibly the long-term as well.

For a while now, I have also been feeling stranded here in other ways too. One of these ways is that I have not yet been able to find a place of my own to rent and live.

This despite having a tenant-based rental section eight housing choice voucher since last autumn (2002) (and this is my third such voucher since 1997).

My current experience of being homeless, in various forms, this time around is going on six (6) years come this summer.

There have been many long moments when I have been deep in thought about what I might do or at least what my possible options are concerning changing either this or my relationship to it.

Among my private thoughts have been ones of taking to the road again and possibly moving to someplace else.

Going on the Road

Just this week, when hitching a ride back into Montpelier from a place I had been staying at the time, a friend came driving along and picked me up.

This individual got talking about how they were moving to Montana, making the drive out there come the first week of June (2003).

After speaking with them about it, I offered and they accepted my going along and helping them with the driving. This way they can get there more safely and not be all alone for the entire trip.

My plans at this time are geared toward merely getting us there. While I have little intention of staying in Montana long, anything is possible as I am not planning where to go next, until after we arrive and only once I am able to rest up a bit.

It is possible that I would return to Vermont in short order or I could head somewhere else and look for a place to rent if anything is available for what meets my long-term needs.

Alternative Mental Health Links

About two weeks ago, a dear friend, well-respected peer and hard working activist, who lives in the upper reaches of the western coast of the United States of America (USA), e-mailed me with a request to do a search and come up with a list of alternative mental health links.

Deciding it was better to create a Web page that can be managed and updated much more easier than some e-mailed list, as a part of Norsehorse's Home Turf, I created a Alternative Mental Health Links page.

This is a links page concerning information about alternatives to the traditional, medical model-based, mental health system.

Included within these listings as well, will be links to certain Websites, articles, reports and other informational pages determined to be of related interest concerning these matters.

Freedom, independence and self-determination

As it states on the Alternative Mental Health Links page, [f]reedom, independence and self-determination are radically liberating ideas!

The very nature of independence as well as self-determination would seem to dictate not merely having freedom of choice, but rather also includes the freedom and the right to ensure one's self-defined and self-expressed wishes, choices and decisions are not defined, limited, narrowed or controlled by outside influences, no matter how well intended or well meaning.

Each person needs to do what is best for themselves and, as such, they are the only one who actually knows what that is.

Which means that, like most anything else in this life, when it comes to mental health "treatment" or other such matters, save (i.e., except for one's retaining their own) true freedom of choice, there are truly no absolutes, nor should there be any imposed on any person(s) by anyone else.

For what it may be worth, that is my opinion anyway.

Vermont Homeless Awareness Project

This past week also found myself creating the Vermont Homeless Awareness Project blog.

The Vermont Homeless Awareness Project is a Web log devoted to creating and promoting greater awareness concerning homelessness in Vermont, the needs of people who live homeless or marginally housed in the state as well as the need of securing the affordable housing that will be required to help meet the housing needs of people who are homeless or otherwise in need.

There has long been an obvious as well as urgent need for creating and promoting a greater awareness concerning homelessness as it is experienced in Vermont, the needs of people who live homeless or marginally housed in the state as well as the need for securing the affordable housing that will be required to help meet the housing needs of people who are homeless and otherwise in need.

While the Vermont Homeless Awareness Project may appear to have much in common with the Vermont Homeless Journal (VHJ), including their ultimate goals, VHJ is more of a journal of some of those working together concerning these matters, whereas this particular blog is focused more on creating awareness by other means: e.g., providing a variety of information, alerts and links concerning homelessness and affordable housing in Vermont.

As the blog evolves, it will become a multi or team blog, blogged by different people as well.

Looking Up & Gazing Ahead

As there are a good six (6) weeks before the rubber hits the road for the trip out west, the rest of this month looks very good to me and I am really looking forward to what comes next during the month of May as well.

Things may be looking up for me, it seems anyway. The fact is however, that I am certainly beginning to look upward at the sky once again and gazing toward the horizon more often than had been the case in a long while.

Note: Post updated on Sunday, April 20, 2003 at 10:42 P.M. [ET]: Slightly edited, mostly for minor corrections and for purposes of clarification.

2003-04-08T14:13:00.000-04:00

Recently Updated Post:
Sunday, April 20, 2003

Riders Left Stranded
by
Wheels Transportation

Late last year (Monday, December 30, 2002), I posted an item concerning the Wheels Transportation Crisis [click here].

Wheels Transportation is the non-profit provider of public transportation serving the transportation needs of people living within the towns and cities of the Central Vermont region.

Just yesterday (Monday, April 7, 2003), riders of Wheels were left stranded without any prior notice concerning this major disruption to the provision of extremely vital public transportation services in the area.

Several people, including myself, who very much rely on this public transportation service to get where they need to go, which helps in their being able to live independently within the community, had been waiting at bus stops for buses that never arrived, as they were no longer running. As a result, they found themselves with little (and in certain cases no) options with which to get around.

To learn more about concerning these matters,
read the following articles:

Wednesday, April 16, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
Former Wheels riders face tough situations

Monday, April 14, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Times Article Editorial
Questions linger over Wheels shutdown

Wednesday, April 9, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
Barre officials attempt to keep Wheels running

Tuesday, April 8, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
Wheels patrons left wondering

Monday, April 7, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
Wheels stops all service

Sunday, January 19, 2003
Times Argus
[Barre - Montpelier, Vermont]
Top Story section
Public transit hits bumps, but officials optimistic

Stayed tuned ...

Note: This particular blog post will be updated as additional information and newpaper articles become available.

* Last updated on Sunday, April 20, 2003: Added links to recent Times Argus article and editorial concerning Wheels Transportation crisis. In addition, links to CCTA and the Town of Berlin, Vermont were also added to the related links section.

2003-04-07T14:08:00.000-04:00

A Movie Worth Watching

After not getting much in the way of sleep last week, I managed to get a place to hole up, sleep and rest as well as watch some television over the weekend.

While watching TV, I found out that Homeless to Harvard: The Liz Murray Story [click here] is airing this evening (Monday, April 7th) at 9:00 PM ET/PT on the Lifetime Cable TV Channel.

Upon learning this, I arranged to stay put for one more night, as I am really looking forward to watching this movie.

For more information, click here for selected links to news articles and other reading concerning Homeless to Harvard: The Liz Murray Story or Google it!

2003-04-07T13:43:00.000-04:00

Updated Post

Various Housekeeping Notes

Just recently, I have begun to make certain changes on the blog and intend to continue this process as time, energy, online access and creativity allows.

After a about a month since I took them down, I have put the Haloscan Comments feature back up. This should make the blog more interactive once again.

As the Bloglet subscription service, which I had been using for this and other blogs of mine, has not been functioning for some reason unknown to me at this time, I have removed this feature for the time being. My apologies for any inconvenience.

Updated on Tuesday, April 8, 2003:

Permalinks Are Back

In addition, after having them missing for a long time due to botched work I was doing on the blog template a while back on this and other blogs of mine, recently I finally managed to figure out how to restore permalinks for the blog post entries.

For those not already aware of what these permalinks are or what function they provide: Permalinks are the Web addresses for a specific blog post entry and can be used to reference and link to a given particular post.

Permalinks are found at the bottom of each blog post entry at the tail end of the byline (i.e., Posted by Morgan W. Brown on ... ) in the form of the highlighted date of each post: e.g., (the following permalink is the Web address for this particular post) 4/7/2003

2003-04-02T19:02:00.000-05:00

More, Even Older,
Writing Stock
Resurfaces

Even more older stock of poetry by way of Virginia Sellner, who had kindly saved copies and just sent them back my way so I could have them on hand as well. Thank you once again my good editor: i.e., StreetViews and Wyoming Winds, publications of the Wyoming Coalition for the Homeless.

Below are three poems I have not come across in some time, though I may have paper copies of these ones buried away somewhere among what stuff I have stored. It is good to have them resurface.

The latter two are ones I wrote probably seven or more years ago I believe, though I cannot actually recall for sure. The first one, no secrets, was written ten years ago.

no secrets

are there no secrets
ever to be discovered
as to a certain method
toward coping or in living
with the root causes
of an existence
so painful
often felt
experienced
alone

going unshared
never seeming to be
understood
nor accepted
since it appears
to be too unbearable
or even impossible
to dare face
or to live with

many never fail
in finding a way
of blaming themselves
at the very least
when no reason exists
other than to find some
scapegoat to be rendered
in an attempt to get free
and to acquire some hope
in being forgiven
for just happening
to be who they are

it can be frightening
for some to consider
or to accept
that there are no secrets
which can be found
to replace ones own sense
of self and the need
for self acceptance
because there are none

nothing else
no secrets
to ease the suffering

only love
to soothe and heal the soul
throughout this life

because our soul searching
is the spirit's seeking
only our acceptance

for that
it may be true
there are no secrets

by Morgan W. Brown
Written: May 1993
Montpelier, Vermont

Only A Shadow

(Insight and Understanding
Lights the Way)

All that I was at one time
appeared to be only a shadow of myself
lurking next to something I bore of
a faint resemblance or so it seemed;
but never daring, to be sure, I never knew
otherwise, I was safely hidden within
my doubts and fears; With which I was
not vulnerable, naked, invisible, then nothing.
At the moment though, I wasn't aware
that of the people and things I became
attached to and then dependent on,
that those I had thought I couldn't do without,
were slowly overcoming me and turning bitter,
until I wasn't able to see clearly anymore,
that I had dreaded the most, in the open,
was myself. Then, in a different light,
I could perceive what I had felt
was-and is-not who I really am;
but rather something I may experience,
feel and sense in growing, healing, and learning
that I don't have to remain distant,
locked away inside, existing in fear.
I can again believe and trust
in myself and finally others also
and not be so alone or isolated,
as I had felt often in the twilight,
before having positively searched within finding myself
the insight and understanding, we all possess
inside, that lights the way as a guide
for living in harmony with ourselves, each other,
the world and universe together, peaceably.
And in the end, all that I really know; truthfully;
is that I can be myself, that that's the best,
for who I am is all I could ever really be.

by Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier Vermont

The Mysterious Un

(This reference to Un
concerns the so-called
unconscious:
i.e., what gets labeled or
termed as the "unconscious";
and, the repression of and,
of the oppression against,
the human spirit)

Can any thought truly be free,
when such a high price is exacted,
for those choosing the consequence
of openly thinking or acting on it.
Where, out of fear of the unknown
(not taking the risk to venture into it,
so as not to rock the illusion of security,
that keeping the status quo intact provides)
no one will hear of it.
To this end, many have long been kept
separate, finding themselves aimlessly struggling
strangers, from that which is a guide
in the Universe. To the depth,
that those who may believe
in, or are open to, what is known
as the "Higher Consciousness", once revered,
are regarded and "treated" as less than human.
Many are often diagnosed, drugged, shocked...
locked away, reviled; labeled as abnormal,
diseased, defective, delusional, psychotic ...
or schizophrenic; left to rot, as if they were
meaningless, lifeless, objects. Those
wishing to remain part of the pack, choose
only to acknowledge this, "conscious", to
be-forever anonymous-the mysterious "un"; a
silenced prisoner of reason. So as not to chance
its rule, it is detained, restrained, repressed,
tortured; until it is finally broken or killed
within. To not take the responsibility -- which
is theirs -- for the evil that they do or ignore,
person after person and nation upon nation,
preoccupy themselves to search, in vain, for
greed, God, and what it is they choose to
believe is right; often fighting for in the
name of, which keeps them distant from their
quest. There have been others though, long
before us, who have known and understood; like
Christ, Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.;
that the way to achieve peace in the world,
or first within ones own self, begins only
when we each take the passage, of change,
found within. For the soul is the gate; and
it is we, ourselves, who are its only keeper.

by Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier, Vermont

2003-04-02T15:18:00.000-05:00

Updated Post:

Thursday, April 3, 2003
12: 26 P.M. [ET]

New Vermont Homeless Blog

Have just created a new blog as part of public informational and educational outreach efforts for the Vermont Homeless & Affordable Housing Group: VT Home.

It is the Vermont Homeless & Affordable Housing Group Blog aka Vermont Homeless Journal.

While I will be the administrator of the Vermont Homeless Journal, the intention is to have this be a team blog. As things progress, certain individuals with a commitment to ending homelessness in Vermont will be selected to be among those blogging there.

If they decide to participate in this way, it is hoped that among those blogging as part of Vermont Homeless Journal team, will be some or all of the five Sterling College students I met today (Wednesday, April 2, 2003).

These students expressed a willingness to learn more concerning homelessness and about people living homeless in Vermont as well as a desire to do something meaningful to bring attention to homelessness in general. Sterling College is located in Craftsbury Common, Vermont.

2003-04-01T20:22:00.000-05:00

Homeless Net-Working

Not entirely sure as to exactly when it was I first made contact with Virginia Sellner online, I am in doubt as to whether it is either four or five years since we eventually began trading e-mails back and forth on occasion.

Initially, however we came across each other just like we both have with other homeless activists as well. This occurred from being subscribed with some of the same online homeless discussion lists we were active participants on.

One such list is the Homeless People's Network (HPN) Discussion List. As I have come to understand it, HPN is intended as a discussion list for people who are either currently living homeless or those who formerly have done so. This list archives are available for public viewing however.

HPN "spans three continents and a range of worldviews and backgrounds. While some posts are personal, most focus on news, views and solutions to homelessness." Thusly, as subscribers to this discussion list, "homeless people working with activist groups, street newspapers and other homeless-run projects (such as squats, centers, shelters and housing) can share information daily."

Yet another one is the Communications for a Sustainable Future (CSF) International Homeless Discussion List. A subscriber to this particular list "will encounter communication from people who are currently homeless, from people who are 'formerly homeless,' from people who are currently 'homed,' from people who are shelter and service providers, from people who live in shelters and public housing developments, from people who work in state and federal agencies, and from many others who share an interest in homelessness. The HOMELESS list invites people with an interest in the subject of homelessness to participate in the exploration of the issues that surround it." The CSF Homeless list archives are also available for public viewing as well.

Sometime around either late 1997 or early 1998 I came across these lists for the first time. There was a period when I was off and on these lists, until finally about two years ago when I have been each of these two homeless discussion lists steadily since.

As mentioned earlier in this post, this is how I learned of Virginia Sellner and her work. "Since 1980" Virginia "has worked for a variety of agencies working with the poor and homeless and is currently the Director of the Wyoming Coalition for the Homeless." Among her many duties at WCH is being the editor for StreetViews and Wyoming Winds.

Over the last five or so years I have submitted some of my writing to Virginia for publication. Much of this has been in the way of poetry or prose. Some of what I had sent her would get misplaced among her files, just like they have become lost to me during the past five plus years of being homeless. These things happen.

Older Writing Stock Resurfaces

However today (Tuesday, April 1, 2003) I received an e-mail from Virginia checking with me about her wanting to published two of my older stock of poems that she recently came across in her files.

These were among the many pieces of writing that I had flooded her with when I had first started submitting work to WCH for publication. Not having copies of them of my own, I had forgotten about these two poems and am very pleased that they have just resurfaced again.

While each of these poems were written to articulate certain experiences and emotions I was living at the time or had otherwise previously lived but had not yet found a voice for, it is amazing to me how much they speak so well for me during these times being experienced currently, albeit in a somewhat different context and manner than originally intended, these five plus years later.

This is but only one of the many reasons why I place such a high value on online networking whether it be with family, friends or others who may share some of our common interests, values and goals.

Thank you Virginia for these poems of mine you have returned to me once again. Much appreciated!

They would have otherwise been lost to me and, whether you knew it or not, they came back to me at a time when I needed to hear, feel and experience their message once again for myself as well as having the need to share them with others too.

The two poems follow this introductory blog post.

time to pause

time and time again
time keeps flying by
as if i'm having fun
giving me reason to pause
as time winds on past

time and time again
i'm looking for time to pause

people keep rushing by
as if i'm invisible still
giving me nobody to pause with
as people continue passing on

words keep rushing in and out
as if they speak to or for me
giving language reason to pause
as words pass through me

time and time again
i'm seeking voice to pause

thoughts keep rushing in
as if they were mine to think
giving my mind reason to pause
as thoughts beat paths inside me

feelings keep rushing through
as if they're emotions i can bear
giving my soul reason to pause
as feelings pulse within me

time and time again
i'm pondering thoughts to pause

time and time again
i'm needing pause of feelings

time and time again
time keeps pushing and pulling
as if i still can be moved
as time continues winding me

time and time again
i can't get time to pause

time and time again
time keeps wearing me down

by Morgan W. Brown
Written: August 31, 1997
Montpelier Vermont

Madness Draws Me

Madness draws me warmly close unto itself -- even
when I had nowhere else to turn; so commonplace a
circumstance this did become, that I finally chose to
remain, forever, here.

Nothing bad ever happens to me while I'm in these
dimensions of profound beauty, passion, clarity,
freedom and existence few dare to venture toward,
let alone dwelling among, unaware this isn't
something to fear.

The only exceptions that spin such transcending
journeys into dreadful experiences, they otherwise
wouldn't be, come via violent reactions, against any
wanderers, by those never seeming to understand
what it is truly like for us there.

So next time someone you know or love heads into
various directions unknown, don't try to stop or
hinder them in their pursuits, for it is a peaceful,
safer, fertile plateau once reached: besides, usually
they'll return, much better off, on their own, I swear.

by Morgan W. Brown
Montpelier, Vermont

2003-03-19T15:35:00.000-05:00

More Concerning

Steve Thompson

In its Tuesday, March 18, 2003 edition, the Burlington Free Press (Vermont) published an article about a person that had been living homeless in Burlington who hung himself.

As the Burlington Free Press usually only archives news articles for a one week period from the date of publication, the following forwarded article has been archived online at the Homeless People's Network (HPN) and is available at: [Hpn] Stevie Thompson, homeless, hangs himself; Burlington Free Press; 3/18/2003 [click here]

2003-03-17T14:38:00.000-05:00

Highly Recommended Reading

Updated Post

Webraw recently posted up an article, entitled "Talking With The Homeless Guy [click here]", concerning an interview Eric Janssen did of Kevin Barbieux.

It is very much worth reading. There is also a print version of the online article available too.

Kevin, who lives in Nashville and has experienced living homeless, is the man behind The Homeless Guy blog.

Another excellent indepth article about Kevin, this one [click here] written by Michael Luo, was published Sunday, March 16, 2003, in major newspapers around the nation.

Michael Luo, who is a roving National Features Writer for the Associated Press, recently "won a 2002 George Polk Journalism Award for his series questioning the confessions and manslaughter convictions of three mentally retarded defendants in Alabama [click here to read more]."

The Homeless Guy
Once Again Featured In
USA Today

USA Today made the AP article, concerning Kevin Barbieux and The Homeless Guy blog, available on its online edition: Homeless man caught between cyberspace and the streets

2003-03-11T15:07:00.000-05:00

Gone Fishing

Nearly two weeks ago, in an e-mail informing me about some very sad news as it regarded a person who had been living homeless elsewhere, before closing and in response to me concerning an e-mail (and much earlier) version I had sent their way of my Long Silences piece, someone I consider to be a peer and a friend suggested:

"As to your LONG SILENCES message. Make a message that says "GONE FISHING" and one that says "FISHING'S GREAT- STILL AT IT". Send the first when you have taken about a week of 'fishing' in your mind for ideas or resting you mind from 'over fishing' it. The second one goes later, but for the purpose of letting everyone know you are still receiving e-mails.

"Lemonade view of your LONG SILENCES message. We get to go fishing!"

Concerning a different matter entirely, someone else just very recently told me that I needed to get my mind off something or rather someone and yet another person mentioned that eventually I would over time.

These two latter individuals may mean well, but it does not help me in the here and now. It is easy enough said, yet extremely hard for someone to actually do. Talk is cheap.

Such things are even harder to do alone: i.e., on one's own or at least during a time when one needs their real friends around and closer by them.

In my usual joking manner and only to make a certain point clear enough, I told the first (of these two latter) person(s) that they better be careful saying something like that to a person who was hurting so badly -- over having to end a relationship with someone else they cared so deeply for, especially anyone who can be suicidal at certain times anyway, since the only sure way for a person to quickly get someone off one's mind like that is for them to use a gun to blow their own brains out, left splattered against a wall or whatever.

As already said above, it was a joke, to make a given point, and not at all as a guilt trip either. The person was someone whom I knew would understand what was being said. In fact we spoke about this and related concerns very honestly at some length with lots of laughter and gallows sort of humor mixed within.

The truth is that it can be far better to not say anything at all, unless what is said is truly meant and is more along the lines of: "I don't know exactly what or how you are feeling or going through right now. Yet if you need to talk about it with someone or just need someone to simply listen, then I am here. If, however, you just need to not be alone and just have someone close by, then I am here as well. ... "

Suffice it to say that, until further notice, I have gone fishing. Though it is not a good time for me to go it alone when it can be helped, there is still a strong need to go anyway.

Such "fishing trips" help begin the process of refocusing myself in certain ways, especially as it concerns my own mind, heart and soul.

Not to worry though, I will not be either obtaining or bringing along a weapon to clean my mind out with either, as my own internal process will do the job well enough over time when I am ready.

As much as I may be hurting now, this too will pass.

2003-03-06T20:14:00.000-05:00

Visions of Springtime:

Reaffirming life
by living it fully
and
sharing it completely

Lots to think & write about recently, though little time to do so. It is certainly great to be alive and busy these days.

Even better to have someone close by with whom to share life and myself with: i.e., as I have fallen deeply in love with someone very special recently.

Yes, even die-hard introverts fall in love and are also loved just as intensely and loyally; at least when we open and risk ourselves to receiving what others have to share with us.

Concerning this new-found relationship though, I will not be going into specifics in my blog postings here, though I may touch on more general aspects from time to time as it pertains directly to myself and what I may be personally going through and learning as it regards the relationship in a very general sense from my introverted perspective.

Update: Saturday, March 8, 2003

The above stated relationship has been discontinued.

No regrets whatsoever about having been in it, even if so short-lived. The relationship had its very good moments, while it and they lasted.

Sometimes no matter how much or how deeply fallen in love one or both person(s) may become or actually be, it does not always work out; not that I ever thought it would either ever be easy or was that sure that it would work out at all.

It was known to me that the relationship would certainly have it difficult moments. Usually there are not many relationships worth anything that do not have it periods of major difficulties at one given point or another.

Things simply took a turn which made it very clear to me that it was far better to end it for good now, rather than later, when it would be even harder and messier to do so.

This is my last word on the subject either in general or specific terms.

In addition, my apologies, however the "Comments" section of this blog -- as well as other blogs maintained by me -- have been removed.

2003-03-02T05:13:00.000-05:00

A Heart As Deep As Any Valley

Song Lyrics:

In memory of Steve Thompson
whose life ended on 25 February 2003

Steve Thompson had a heart as deep as any valley, he had a cannin' route and worked harder than most... Steve walked more miles than all the maps in Rand-McNally until the 25th of February when he gave up the ghost

Steve Thompson had a heart as deep as any valley, Vermont's mountains were greener in the glow of his smile-- Steve left behind him a fortune untold, his friends were more precious than Fort Knox's gold!

Steve said he'd been homeless for 28 years... he must've been homeless as a boy because he still looked youthfull... Steve shared his joys, not his tears, he was fearless and truthfull!

Steve Thompson had a heart as deep as any valley, Vermont's mountains were greener in the glow of his smile-- Steve left behind him a fortune untold, his friends were more precious than Fort Knox's gold!

Steve slept in a horse barn up behind Taft College... he cheerfully shared his small store of cash and his large share of knowledge... at 42 degrees below zero, Steve was frostbitten... he lost hope, found a rope.
Now his epitaph has been written.

Steve Thompson had a heart as deep as any valley, Vermont's mountains were greener in the glow of his smile-- Steve left behind him a fortune untold, his friends were more precious than Fort Knox's gold!

Steve Thompson was our friend, he was our pal, he had A Heart As Deep As Any Valley.

Ken Lawless
27 February 2003

Got an e-mail about three days ago from an homeless activist who resides in Burlington concerning the death of a person who had been living homeless within Vermont's largest city.

Steve Thompson committed suicide by hanging himself and was found by a close friend, another person who is living homeless in the area as well, when he went looking for his buddy.

As I understand it, word has it is that he recently told a certain person or persons, possibly a social worker, that he could not take it any longer.

Just about ten minutes after the noon-hour yesterday (Saturday, March 1, 2003), a remembrance gathering was held for Steve at the Chittenden Emergency Food Shelf on N. Winooski Avenue in Burlington.

In the back of the room, which serves as the cafeteria for the daily morning-time meal, a table was set up with a number of candles, three different vases of flowers and a framed large color photo of Steve with a caption at the bottom of it that read:

Steve Thompson
Deceased 2/25/03
"A heart as deep as any valley"

In attendance were several of those who had grown to know Steve well over the years. He was well spoken of as someone who would be sorely missed.

A heart felt folk song written was sung by Ken Lawless in memory of Steve (see above song lyrics).

There was mention of the back wall corner seat at one of the tables in the rear of the cafeteria, which Steve could usually be found sitting at, when he came in to the Chittenden Emergency Food Shelf for the serving of the daily morning-time meal.

The remembrance gathering included a community meal that followed the portion were people spoke and took time to remember Steve in their own way.

fyi:

Contact Information:

Wanda Hines, Director
Chittenden Emergency Food Shelf
228 N. Winooski Avenue
Burlington VT 05401

(802) 658-7939

Fax (802) 860-3663

In addition, since it is only available for one week period from the date and time of its on-air broadcast, below is Saturday's 6:00 P.M. Channel 3 - WCAX TV newscast script excerpts specifically concerning the Steve's death and the remembrance gathering held for him yesterday.

Saturday, March 1, 2003

WCAX - TV
Channel 3 News
Burlington, Vermont

6:00 P.M. [ET] Evening News Broadcast

Sat 01-MAR-2003 6 P.M. News Script:

--snip, snip, snip--

5} EULOGY_INTRO

Burlington's homeless population mourned the passing of one of their own today -- a man considered family to many. Andy Potter and photographer Lance MacKenzie have that story.

6} EULOGY_PKG

For the homeless the Chittenden Emergency Food Shelf provides more than a hot meal. It's a gathering place for an extended family that lives on the fringes of society. ((Off-camera: "We take care of each other, that's what you do when you're living homeless, you know. One hand washes the other.")) On this day they came in shock and sadness, to remember Stevie Thompson. This week, at age 53, he hanged himself in an abandoned building. ((On Camera: "We're all family here. Now Stevie, the one who passed away, he gave me this coat three weeks ago. And I'll never get rid of it.")) They lean on each other in mourning the death of their friend who would give one of his own the shirt off his own back. They help each other through a life much harsher than most would willingly endure. ((Wanda Hines/Chittenden Emergency Food Shelf: "Although it has many meanings, at one point or another in our lives love comes down to the pursuit of better days... I strongly believe , even in death there is the pursuit of better days.")) His friends say Thompson had threatened suicide from time to time over the years. But they struggle to understand why he did it. ((Everett Engels/Friend of Thomson's: "It wasn't the cold, it was something within him. And I guess nobody heard.")) 33:38 - :45} ((Mike Ambrose/Friend of Thompson's: "It's hard, It's not easy on anybody. None of these people out here that turn around and live outside has it easy.")) 14:49 - :56... :02 - :11} ((Nada Tokarski:Friend of Thompson's: "I'm sorry you couldn't wait for srping. Oh, Stevie, if only you could have waited... You could have unbuttoned your shirt as was your habit and feel the sun's warmth on your face, and there could have been hope.")) They find hope in short supply, but comfort in sharing their grief. Andy Potter, Channel 3 news, Burlington. -3-

--snip, snip, snip--

2003-02-27T16:57:00.000-05:00

In Defense of Introversion

My name is Morgan, and I am an introvert.

Came across an interesting article late this afternoon (Thursday, February 27, 2003) that creatively employs a humorous approach in defense or rather in support of and for introversion.

That is unless my above assumption were to prove to be false and, while certainly callous in nature if this were to be true (i.e., the above statement being a false assumption), the article could have possibly been intended to be more along the lines of being some sort of a clever ruse or otherwise a back handed critique by its author.

This is not offered as a settled opinion by any means however.

It is merely the basic churnings and uttered rantings of cautious thought from an introverted mind that has previously been burnt and thusly wounded once too many times.

Since it directly relates to my being an introvert (read my Tuesday, February 25, 2003 blog post), for those who may not have already come across the article written by Jonathan Rauch and published in the March 2003 edition of the Atlantic Monthly magazine on their own yet, it felt important to call attention to "Caring for Your Introvert: The habits and needs of a little-understood group".

Questions to Ponder

There may possibly be other ways to view the article though.

If one has not already done so yet, it may be good to do some online research on the subject matter raised in the article simply by starting with a search for the term: introverts > Google It!

... and go on from there.

It may be good as well as healthy to explore it further and question the article to say the least.

The article definitely employs a humorous approach in addressing the topic to be sure.

However there are certain thoughtful questions to be posed and considered.

These include, by way of example only:

1. Is it sufficient to take the article and what the author may appear to be presenting at face value?

2. Does the article and what it seems to be presenting deserve to be questioned harder or more completely, instead of simply reading and taking it to be as it may seem to appear at face value?

3. Is there something more to or rather behind what the author was writing and where they were possibly coming from or potentially leading readers toward?

4. As it clearly employs humor as one of the devises, tools or techniques used within the article, what type of humor is it?

5. What were the means employed with the devises, tools or techniques used?

6. What are the possible motives behind using such devises, tools or techniques in the manner they were potentially being used?

7. To what potential end are those devises, tools or techniques being used?

8. Were there possibly either underlying or other obvious themes or subjects being hinted, suggested or covered in or by the article?

9. If so, potentially speaking, what are they?

10. What were the true intentions of the author when they researched, wrote about and addressed the specific topic covered?

Furthermore, it would not hurt to do a comparative study by going over other articles written by the same author that they wrote concerning entirely different topics in order to discover possible patterns, etc.

Of course, please feel free to comment concerning these matters via the below "Comments" link at the bottom of this particular blog post.

Enlightening Information Concerning Introverts

As Jonathan Rauch indicates in his article, there exists on the Internet quite a bit of interesting and even enlightening information on the topic.

Below is just a small sampling of what is available online.

An article published in the April 1, 1995 edition (Volume 2, Number 4 / Page 8) of Computer-Mediated Communication Magazine authored by Jeb Livingood entitled 'Revenge of the Introverts' explored how the Internet is a medium much more conducive, personal and empowering at the hands of "world's quieter individuals."

Back on Sunday, December 01, 2002 the Working Connections column written by Daneen Skube and published in the Business and Technology section of the Seattle Times sought to bring enlightenment to the subject by showing how 'Introverts have much to offer if they speak up'.

Catherine Davis, who is "proud to say that [she is] an introvert", wrote a "Basic Survival Tips For Introverts" piece concerning "some strategies [she] developed to live in civilization". It was published as a column within the Observations section of the Thursday, April 15, 1999 edition of the Tufts Observer.

As if anyone really needs proof in the form of brain scans or a studies to clue them in about it, there have been studies engaged to reveal if and how the brains of introverts and extroverts react differently: i.e., the fact is after all that the emotional or spiritual gift of introspection is more art than it is a science.

A couple of these were reported on as follows briefly:

An article entitled Happy faces trigger different brain reactions in extroverts and introverts published in the June 21, 2002 edition of the Stanford Report reported on the study.

Previous to that study, a March 29, 1999 press release concerning the findings of another study reported that "Brain activity differs in introverts and extroverts, UI study shows".

Even came across a commercial Website (i.e., let's make some money from those troubled and depressed introverts) with a Freqently Asked Questions (FAQ) page all About Introversion.

Some of the answers in the above FAQ appear okay enough, most of the latter portions I will pass on though.

Came across notice and the link for An Introvert's Lexicon listed on a few blogs that had recently blogged about the Rauch article in one regard or another.

The Lexicon is hosted at The Assertive Introvert.

This particular Website, which is solely dedicated to lending support to reinforcing positive as well as assertive introversion, states it concern as being focused toward 'Introverts' Rights - Seeking some solitude in an extroverted world!'

There is also a page on the site regarding Social Skills For Introverts.

Toward the bottom of that page is the following closing paragraph:

"To find out if you're one of us, take one of these personality tests. You're just as good as anyone else, so act like it in public! Never allow anyone to get away with implying that quiet people are inferior. After all, there's been a civil rights movement, a women's movement, a disability awareness movement, and even a fat acceptance movement. Why not a quiet peoples' respect movement?"

Yet another Website, The Gifted Introvert , has some very insightful and highly useful, as well as good comparative information, concerning introverts and extroverts.

Here is a brief take of theirs on introverts:

"Introverts are naturally cautious, reserved and reflective. They need time and space to themselves. They prefer to work with people individually rather than in large groups. Introverts tend not to learn by trial and error. They will observe, take in information and perhaps ask a few clarifying questions. They will not frequently interrupt with questions and comments as most extraverts are prone to do. Introverts need time to consider and reflect before answering questions or engaging in activities. Introversion is perfectly normal and does not need 'curing'. We should not try to turn introverts into extraverts."

That is a very refreshing and reaffirming read for this soul. It is my hope that others who know me will read it and other like stuff and take it seriously to heart as well as apply its wisdom whenever they are interacting with me or otherwise simply happen to be either in or around the same shared space.

Blogrolling

The title of the Jonathan Rauch's article caught my eye as well as my intense interest rather quickly when I read a brief blog post, and followed the link to the article made available there, on the blog of evhead; a blog I happened upon via a link available on a blog post of another blog [i.e., Alternate.org] that I came across by following a link available in a certain blog post on yet another blog I regularly visit and read: i.e., webraw blog.

Whew! That was a blogging mouthful.

As seems usual in the blogging world, the particular evhead blog post briefly noting the article and providing a link to it, also made sure to reference Joho as being the source they came across word of the article. The specific blog post on Joho The Blog is entitled Introverted and Proud.

Blogging Bug

It is probably obvious that I have developed a deep passion for the blogging world. The fact is that I have caught the blogging bug in a big way.

This is all the fault of Kevin Barbieux & The Homeless Guy blog. Kevin's blogging inspired me to do one of my own.

Before then, even though I had been aware of blogs and blogging for at least a year prior to finally engaging in it, I had stayed away from doing it myself.

Homeless Maybe, Yet Never Hopeless

Can you believe it, I was actually going to wait until becoming housed again, getting my own computer and being hooked up to the Internet with my own personal access?!

This even though I have been using public access online computers for over the past five plus years I have been living homeless this time around.

With the big learning curve I figured I had, it simply seemed better at the time to have the right environment and enough time to delve into something new.

Once I read an article, 'A homeless guy finds a refuge on the Internet', in USA Today (October 3, 2002) concerning Kevin's blogging efforts and what it was about, I jumped right in however.

Thanks Kevin!!!

2003-02-25T15:01:00.000-05:00

Long Silences

It has been nearly three long weeks since I last blogged anything either here at Norsehorse's Home Turf or elsewhere for that matter: i.e., Norsehorse's Home Turf Retro-Blog or the North American Homeless News Network (NAHNN).

Those who may believe they know me rather well or may otherwise think they have gotten use to some of my many ways, are probably aware that there are those times I am known to frequently write, post and e-mail at a rather furious pace and often in a wordy fashion, either whenever I come across something that seems to be of interest to share or if and when something comes to mind that I feel needs exploring and saying.

Yet these same people may have also learned that there are those times as well when I seem to vanish without either a word or a trace.

It is as if I have become lost to them amid what can only be explained as long silences.

None of these people are at all alone in experiencing this when it happens though. That is because I, or rather my inner voice, have also become lost to myself somehow as well, so this is pretty much what and how I experience such times within myself too.

Of course not everyone understands or endures such episodes well, nor do I ever really expect anyone to do so either.

The truth is that many of these types of experiences have usually led to confusion, hurt and angry feelings as well as harmed or even lost relationships.

This may be one of the things that, in turn, got me into more trouble as sometimes I use to wait far too long to do anything about what may be wrong or disconnected within myself out of the very real fear of losing needed relationships and support networks.

Taking Time Out

Sometimes these silences only last for several hours, while others can last for several days. However it is not uncommon for me to get lost in such silent periods for weeks and occasionally for months.

In fact there was a time in my life when being lost in virtual silence for months on end, or even for a period of years, was even more common an experience.

Clarification

None of this ever has been an attempt on my part to be or remain mysterious however.

The silences of which I am describing are not of the variety when I have specifically chosen to no longer speak to or engage with certain individuals as a way to protect myself from further harm inflicted by them either.

Back on Track

There are times when I feel there is no longer much of a choice but to finally let go of what seems safe, secure, stable and comfortable, even if only temporarily, in order to allow myself to journey and to take the risk of getting lost in the hope of finding and nurturing my inner voice, so as to reconnect within myself once again.

Other times there is simply the strong need of escaping off someplace in an attempt to seek refuge and to heal.

It is not that I do not value having solid and meaningful relationships with others or that I cannot handle such either though.

No matter how much of an effort I have made so far to do otherwise, it appears that I have not quite fully learned yet how to keep both going in a more balanced state at the same time.

The one thing that has long been clear to me is that the only one whom I can hope to change is myself, so I go to work focused on doing it in my own deeply intense style.

What's Going On?

When I eventually break out of a time of having disappeared into silence, it can take me a long time to explain why I did so, what happened, where I was and what I did.

There is not always an easy or readily understandable reason to provide: i.e., at times I do not clearly know or understand the why, what and where.

In addition, even if I may come to a certain knowledge or understanding concerning these questions, I may not always be able to clearly articulate an answer enough so someone else can gain a true appreciation of my experiences as I understand and have lived them.

Dark Dungeons or Spiritual Journeys?

This, I suppose, is an attempt to suggest that it certainly can feel like a prison in which I find myself trapped, secluded and locked within.

Too often it seems to me as if I am lodged either very close to or way deep within my own private area among the domain of Hades (aka Hell), though not necessarily of my own making.

If so, it may help to explain away some of the high of levels panic and anxiety as well as the ever deepening and growing depression experienced as I have struggled to break free, slow and fruitless as my attempts have been.

There are times I am left to wonder however, if what I find myself treading among is not more along the lines or depths of what much older schools of thought, along with their potentially deeper as well as possibly far more holistic sense of wisdom, once held Abaddon (see 2nd paragraph) to actually be.

Mutual Respect, Understanding & Support

Whatever the case may be though, while I have slowly learned not to try to do it all completely on my own, the means as well as the results sought definitely has to be on terms that I and I alone can live and be at peace with. Nothing else is ever a good or better substitute.

At times my focus can be such that it is very important to know and remember that it is not that I have stopped listening or that I cannot hear others.

It is just that my voice, or possibly even my wounded or dying spirit, is trapped and I am off searching for the tools with which to better guide me as well as developing a more positively-rooted and holistically-based understanding to make sense of my experiences and also finding the proper words to describe them.

It can be a terribly lonely feeling and scary experience. Yet it would be worse to allow myself to lose my voice either for too long a period or possibly risk it for good or, even much worse, to not even try to get it back and have it be speaking freely once again.

Whenever I do wearily venture forth and return, it is always my hope that there will still be someone around to share them with.

Self-Determination

Suffice it to say that if anything had gotten to a point of being either very wrong with me or extremely troubling for me, I would have broken my silence long enough to reach out to someone for help and support.

In those cases when I eventually break out of my long silences for reasons, like now, that does not include my directly reaching out for help and support concerning something specific, it means that all is well -- at least for the time being anyway.

2003-02-05T15:48:00.000-05:00

More Deep & Dire Reflections

Concerning a Deeply Personal
Spiritual Crisis & Turning Point

Late 1990

An old poem from back in 1990, when I was still living in the City of Rutland (Vermont), before having moved to Montpelier in the Spring of 1991.

The poem was inspired from a long walk I took late in the afteroon, during one particularly tough Christmas eve day. This was in 1990.

My mother had died earlier that year. In addition, things in my own life were also not going so well either. Plus I was very alone and isolated at the time.

Until just now, when I did a Google search for "Still Wild Woods", I was not at all aware of the writings of David Henry Thoreau were he wrote concerning " [...] Concord with its still wild woods [...] " however.

Even though I have no recollection as to the possibility, this is not to say that I could not have been influenced in some way by his writings I suppose. The fact is that I simply do not know and certainly cannot recall.

All I remember when I went out to take that particular walk late that afternoon was how so sorely I was feeling, what was going on in my severely distressed mind, what I saw and experienced on various levels and how, while out walking, I was writing everything down in a little notebook I carried on me for just this, as well as other like, purpose(s).

Later, after returning to the small room that was my residence, what I had written and experienced during my walk inspired me to write even more concerning it. Eventually, after several hours of this, it led me to writing the poem.

Never having been up to the area generally mentioned within the poem, "still wild woods" came to mind as the perfect name to describe the beautiful place I found myself walking and pausing among.

It was very much a deeply moving, spiritual and healing experience for me.

Thinking about it now, I am left to wonder if my mother's spirit had not visited me during the severe distress I was experiencing, amid the struggle going on within my mind and soul, while I was walking through and then paused in that wooded area.

It was definitely a very quiet and private location for such a visit, with the little pond way up on the snow-covered hill I had climbed.

In my way of thinking and remembering her, it would seem to be like my mother to do something very caring and consoling like that, especially as I was so deep in thought and mourning concerning her.

Maybe she came to say goodbye to me one last time, since we never had that chance before (according to the police) she took her own life earlier that Spring.

It would also seem to be like her to want to say goodbye to me in such fashion I believe. It is possible too that she did not want me to follow her as I was seriously thinking of doing, especially so soon and in the same type of way.

Still Wild Woods

Dedicated
In Loving Memory
To My Mother:
Patricia Owren (formerly Brown) Hackett
1936 - 1990

venturing out
into winter's bitter cold
alone
to find even just a little solace
on a christmas eve's day
wandering a snowy path
where it leads
winding up a hill
through thick stands of trees
to a frozen snow-covered pond
greeted by a furious frigid wind
compelled though
to that solitary spot
if only but for a time
for the sight was such to see
that it could not be helped
at that moment
but to admire the serenity
and take in the warmth
felt from this
bit of paradise
not yet lost
nestled within
still wild woods

Morgan W. Brown
Rutland Vermont